As he drew her face to his, closing the gap, he finally felt the lump of dread in his stomach dissolve like a sugar cube in water. He wasn’t going to lose her again. He’d get his shit together. He’d make it work with her.
He had to.
THEDIRTBAGSSCREENING WAS PARTof a weeklong festival honoring the work of Perry McCallister, the director. Grey and Ethan had planned on arriving in Manhattan in time to attend the opening-night party, but their flight was delayed so long that by the time their cab deposited them at their hotel, they were too exhausted to do anything other than strip, shower, and pass out under soft linens and mountains of pillows.
They spent a lazy morning lounging in bed, dozing on and off. When Grey opened her eyes again, the bed was empty. Before she had time to wonder, the door to the room opened and Ethan strode in holding two milky iced coffees and a brown paper bag.
“I’ve never been more in love with you,” she groaned as she ripped open the bag to reveal two greasy, beautiful bacon, egg, and cheese bagels.
Once they felt alive enough to venture outside, they didn’t do much more than walk. It was one of those rare, perfect earlysummer New York days, before the fetid humidity of July and August crept in, sweat plastering clothes to every bodily crevice within seconds of going outside. Today, however, the sun warmed their faces and cool breezes swept their hair into their eyes as they wandered over to the West Village, letting themselves get lost in the serpentine streets.
She’d been skeptical of Ethan’s assertion that people generally left him alone in New York, but he was right. Aside from the occasional double take or less-than-sneaky cellphone photo, nobody approached them.
They paused in front of a picturesque townhouse stoop, where a commercial shoot was under way. Though it was still early June, the commercial was set in fall, with fake leaves dusting the steps. Grey and Ethan stood a respectful distance away and watched two sweater-clad models sip from the same Coke bottle with two straws, then give each other a sweet, corn-syrupy peck. They beat a hasty retreat when the female model spotted Ethan, her gasp ruining what was probably a perfectly good take.
They walked farther north, stopping for a late lunch in Koreatown. Ethan’s phone buzzed, and he pulled it out to silence it, pausing when he saw the name.
“Do you mind? It’s Perry.” The two of them had been playing phone tag all day, trying to coordinate a time to get together and catch up outside of the festival.
Grey shook her head. “No, go ahead.”
She focused on her hot pot as Ethan muttered into the phone, hanging up promptly.
“Did you figure out the plan?” Grey asked, maneuvering the last bit of her egg yolk onto a clump of rice. Ethan shook his head.
“The only time he’s free while we’re here is for lunch tomorrow, and that’s when we’re seeing your mom. Are you going to eat this?” he asked, hovering his chopsticks over the last piece ofkimchi in the center of the table. She gestured at him to take it, frowning, and he plucked it onto his plate.
“Oh. I mean, it’s okay if you want to go see him instead. I can see my mom alone.”
“No, I want to meet her. And I want to be there if you need me.”
Grey felt her chest tighten at how casually he was ready to give this up, just so he could be there for her. “It’s okay, really. We can find some other time for you to meet her. Trust me, I would bail, too, if I could. But I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Totally. Call him back now.”
After Ethan hung up the phone again, he chased a stray grain of rice around the bottom of his cast iron bowl.
“Do you want to come see Sam’s parents with me?” he asked, as nonchalant as if they were already midconversation about that exact topic. Grey blinked, stunned.
“What?”
“I called them. Before we came.” He kept his eyes down, like he wouldn’t be able to keep going if he registered her shock. “I didn’t say anything because I wasn’t sure how I would feel once I got here. But I think…I want to see them.” He smiled ruefully. “I feel bad asking you to come after I just bailed on your mom, but…”
“Of course I’ll come. Of course,” Grey said quickly. “How did…how was it? Talking to them?”
“Good. Weird. I don’t know. I only talked to his mom. I was dreading it, but…she was so happy to hear from me.” He paused to collect himself, seemingly surprised at the way his voice cracked with emotion. Grey said nothing, just focused intently on him. “We didn’t really talk about anything important, but hearing her voice…it was a lot. Brought a lot back.”
He got that distant look in his eyes that by now she knew too well. She placed her hand over his. His eyes refocused as he smiled at her, flipping his hand over and squeezing hers.
“I can’t wait to meet them.”
—
“WHAT, HE DIDN’Twant to meet me?”
Five minutes into lunch with her mother, Grey felt like her smile was already cracking at the edges.
