“Okay, okay,” she replied. He didn’t believe her. Fine, let her be stubborn and put away the groceries and aggravate her ribs. Whatever.
With a frustrated growl, he gathered up all the grocery bags from the kitchen counter, hanging the bags with their heavy contents on his arms, and took them outside with him. Childish, maybe. But he didn’t trust his mother to listen to his simple request. And he needed to keep her from hurting herself.
Fights between Tae and his folks had increased since the car accident. They were both more needy than they’d ever been. And Tae was more irritable. He was so tired of being angry, then overwhelmed with guilt and frustration, and then feeling total helplessness. Everything felt out of control.
And fuck, he missed Julia. He had been awful to her. He would never forget the look on her face when she drove away. He was angry, yes, but he had also been exhausted and irritable and felt like giving up so many times the days since the accident.And he’d hurt her with the truth. It wasn’t how he’d wanted to come clean to her about his deal with her grandma. But he’d used the information like a weapon. Julia deserved better than the mess that Tae had become.
Now he hid in the house afraid to run into Grandma Song. And he held tight to his phone, cursing at its inactivity, knowing Julia would never reach out to him again.
Tae put the groceries down on the patio table, drowning out his mother nagging him through the screen door about taking the food outside where the air was dirty. He sat in one of the old deck chairs, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, half his ass falling through the broken weave of the seat. He had been such a dick to Julia. And apparently was so good at it he’d decided to be a dick to his parents too. And while he was at it, he was a dick to the guy working the In-N-Out drive-through the other day for not giving him a straw.
He hadn’t been sleeping well, thoughts of all his bad choices dancing in his head, taunting him. His email inbox screaming at him: his employer telling him to confirm resignation and to clear out his desk, his roommates telling him to clean out his apartment, and the last thing Tae wanted to do was go back to Chicago. The second-to-last thing he wanted to do, if he was being truthful, was stay here stuck in Irvine. Not like this.
The sliding door opened, and Tae looked back just as Min stepped outside, a bottle of soju and two shot glasses in his hands.
“Isn’t it a little early for that?” Tae lifted his chin to the booze.
“From what I hear, I’m a few days late with this, actually.”
“Was it Mom or Dad that asked you to come and calm me down?”
“Does it matter?”
Min took the seat next to Tae and poured the soju into the glasses.
“Gunbae,” they both said, clinking glasses and downing the contents. Tae shook off the burn and put his glass down. Min refilled it.
“Oh, it’s gonna be one of those days, huh?” Tae asked.
“What’s going on with you, Tae?”
“I have no idea what you mean,” Tae replied.
“Let me clarify. An angry Tae turns the universe on its head. No one knows what to do with this misalignment of moon and stars. Why are you so pissed off?”
Well, that was a loaded question. Should he start with the fact that he felt stuck here taking care of his parents and couldn’t live his own life? Or the fact that he threw the only really good thing in his life away when he shunned Julia and lied to her about working for her grandmother? Let’s not forget the fact that she paid for his dad’s medical bills but denied it when called out.
“Nothing’s going on,” Tae said flatly. It was just easier not to talk about it.
His brother glared at him, aggravated. Min leaned back in his chair, looking out over their backyard. “You can be a dick to me. I can take it. Maybe I haven’t been the most caring hyung to you, but one way I can be there is to let you take it out on me. Better me than our parents, anyway.”
Tae wanted to be mad at his brother. The nerve of him to act like he wanted to protect their parents. But fuck, he was tired of being angry. Because Min wasn’t a dick. He was just different. He was ambitious and driven, and that took focus. They were just two different people, and they served their family in different ways.
“Look, I’m sorry I was such a prick at the hospital,” Tae said.
“Just the hospital?” The corner of Min’s mouth rose. He poured them two more shots.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the sounds of their mother in the kitchen, humming a church hymn.
“A friend of mine is in town from Korea,” Min said, finally breaking the silence. “He works for a big company out there and is here for some business and to visit his family. He told me he is having dinner with one Julia Song of Starlight Cosmetics. He’s pretty pumped about it, too.”
Tae’s heart stopped. He felt like he’d been punched in the solar plexus. That was quick. Tae grabbed the bottle of soju and poured himself another glass. He threw it back and waited for the alcohol to kick in to numb some of what he was feeling. Too much emotion battling for the top spot within him.
“That’s cool. Is he a good guy?” Each word physically hurt him to say. But Julia deserved a good guy. Who knew? Maybe this friend of Min’s could end up being the guy who finally won Julia’s heart. Sounded like he had big bucks. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Maybe she’d marry him, and Tae’s magical power to date the girl before she found The One would work yet again.
His chest tightened.
Tae reached for the bottle again. Min grabbed his hand before he could pour. He gave him a warning look. Tae met his brother’s glare. He was not going to be the one to budge. He didn’t need a babysitter or a priest right now. They stared each other down until Min finally let go. Tae filled his glass, brought it to his lips, and swallowed.
