Feeling like I could stand here and stare at my phone for another hour or two, naively hoping that Matt will call back, I force myself to move away. Step by step, I make my way to the table where I left Louisa’s fabric. I unroll it a bit, running my hand over the smooth surface, because how could I not? It’s incandescent and it feels right, but as I shift my eyes to the muslin on one of my dress forms, I can’t imagine the dress I was working on in this fabric. I look harder and harder, but I can’t find it.
I close my eyes and take a breath. A stream of moments flash in front of me from my time in Italy. There are so many memories to choose from. I move through them all until I land on the one that sings. The one that I’m not ready to leave. It’s the night Mira took me to meet with her eclectic circle of friends in the apartment above Louisa Tessuti. I almost feel like I’m there now. We’re talking and we’re happy and, in this world, designing isn’t a source of anxiety—it’s a source of joy. A source of pleasure.
I open my eyes and an idea starts to form in the back of my mind. I pick up the fabric and carry it with me as I start pacing around the workroom. Minutes pass and the idea grows. It gets clearer. I think of everything I love about designing and the rush I get when I create something that’s entirely new and uniquely me. I take those emotions and I’m ready to run with them, implicitly trusting that they’ll take me where I need to go.
Rushing to the nearby desk with my sketchbook, I fling it open. A small smile appears on my face as I furiously start to sketch, and a thought occurs to me for the first time in a long time...
This is going to be fun.
21
I’ve only ever done one runway show before, but this one feels infinitely different. With my other show, it was the end of the school year—our final collections. I was riddled with doubt, and I was terrified. I’m scared now, too, but it’s the kind of scared that tells you you’re about to do something important. Something that will change things. There’s obviously more at stake this time. Today I’m competing and whatever the outcome is, my future is going to be different because of it. But for once in my life, I’m not struggling against the current. I’m not floundering. I don’t need a life vest and I’m ready for what’s to come.
We’re in the school auditorium that’s filled to the brim. Families, friends, faculty, students—everyone is contributing to the beating pulse of the event, and I try to enjoy it as much as I can. The show is scheduled to start any second as Marco, Holly and I run around like mad, tweaking our final looks. We check every hem and every zipper. No loose thread is left uncut.
Marco is the first to show and his collection is just as drop-dead dazzling as we all anticipated. Bold colors pop and captivate—bright pink and lime green. Each look he sends down is a stunner. There are voluminous sleeves, sheer panels and dramatic silhouettes. Each of them highlights his impeccable skills. His finale piece, an all-black tulle ball gown, is the textbook definition of a show stealer, and as he walks out behind all his creations to never-ending applause, I couldn’t be happier for him.
Holly goes next, and her collection of luxury ready-to-wear looks are so beautiful and well thought out that it seems impossible to believe it was made by a student. Using a muted pastel color palette, her originality and tailoring shines. Her garments are understated and elegant and I want all five of her pieces in my closet. Stat.
I’m the last to go, currently standing backstage and reminding myself to breathe. I’ve already done last looks. The models are lined up and waiting. I sneak a peek out and see the judges—a panel of three teachers and a representative from Lilli B. Adding in Lorenzo’s decision in Italy, there will be five votes total. Five votes to decide who wins the competition and gets the job. Five votes to point us toward our futures.
A second later the lights go out, and the auditorium is suddenly filled with the booming sound of thunder and rain. I smile in the darkness. Here we go.
The spotlight roars to life, hitting the runway as upbeat music blends with the storm sounds that are pouring from the speakers. There’s a collective gasp from the crowd as my first model strides out. While it was listed in the program, no one fully expected to see a lingerie collection.
Each of my pieces is made or partially made from the midnight blue silk from Louisa, and each was inspired by someone I spent time with while I was in Rome. The models have been made to look like they just stepped in from a light rain. Their feet are bare. This collection is all about celebrating yourself and I want everyone walking to feel as comfortable as possible.
My first piece, which I think of as the PFL—Professor Francesca Leoni—is a soft, sensual, long-sleeved bodysuit that highlights the wearer’s natural shape. It can be worn as an intimate item or in public, and once things slow down, I will immediately be making one for myself.
Next is my Louisa—a two-piece bra and panty set. It has intricate ruffle detailing around the cups and the high-rise bottoms, combining softness and comfort with everyday versatility. The model may also be wearing a pair of glasses attached to a faux gold chain because I couldn’t help myself.
The Mira is next to hit the runway. The bra has a ruffled trim that’s carried over from the Louisa, and a thick, supportive band. It’s matched with a panty that emphasizes the hips’ curvature and was inspired by what Mira said about everyday lingerie being a romantic secret with herself. In my head, I call this set the secret romantic.
My Marie follows, and it’s one of the more detailed pieces with a scallop-trimmed half-cup bra and a scalloped hipster panty. It can be worn and enjoyed with or withoutun amante—and I like to imagine that the real Marie would use it in both scenarios.
My finale piece, the Violetta, is a silk bodysuit with a pleated, ruffled, sheer top worn over it. It’s my spin on a classic lingerie staple and I love it wholeheartedly. I named it after me because my collection was based on people I met in Rome, in a big way. I met myself there, too. I met part of myself that I never would have known if I hadn’t gone. For a hidden touch, I have the model holding the original fabric square that Louisa gifted me. It doesn’t mean anything to the people in the audience, but it means the world to me.
Once the last model returns backstage, all five step out again to walk one after the other. Feeling prouder than I’ve ever felt, I head out with the model wearing my finale piece. She passes me the fabric square as we clasp our hands together, and I keep it safely with me as I wave to Daniella and Calvin, who are cheering wildly in the audience.
When the show ends, the lights turn on and the auditorium spills over with chatter. Holly, Marco and I join the crowd, finding our friends and family. Mira tells me she was blown away by my collection and we make plans to meet for dinner a few hours later. Daniella has only just released me from a ferocious bear hug when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and my breath catches.
“Professor Leoni!” My initial excitement morphs to minor fear when I try to gauge what Matt might have told her.
Not much, judging from her kind eyes and the sweet way that she says, “Violetta.” I all but fall into the hug she initiates, closing my eyes for the briefest second and pretending that we’re back in Rome. The daydream is over as quickly as it started, and soon we’re stepping apart to greet each other with smiles once again.
“It’s so incredible to see you,” I tell her. “How are you?”
“I’m wonderful, just wonderful,” she says. “Of course I couldn’t miss the show. Having the three of you stay with me was such a special time and I am so proud of all of you.”
Her words fill me with a maternal warmness that I didn’t realize I was lacking since my parents moved. It’s magical to have her here in front of me. For the past month I’ve been caught up in a hectic New York fog, but this woman is pure Italian sunshine.
I’m flustered by the emotion brought on by her arrival, but I smile through it, so she doesn’t get the wrong idea. “I can’t believe you came to the show. You just made this the best day ever.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she replies. “Your pieces were lovely. I especially enjoyed the rain aspect you included. It really helped to set you apart.”
The rain aspect. A last-minute addition. Another hidden touch. “I called the linepioggia,” I tell her a little quietly. “It just seemed to fit.”
Professor Leoni smiles. I know she isn’t privy to the deeper meaning behind the word, but it almost seems like she is. “I had originally hoped that Matteo would be attending with me today, but, as I’m sure you know, he’s in California now.”
