“Right,” he says disbelievingly. “Well, whatever you have going on inside seems very close to appearing on the outside, so let’s count this as a win and go back to the boat.”
I shake my head. I need to do this. “Take us in, Paolo!”
“Here we go,” he happily replies.
Without pause, Matt pulls me into his body, my back to his front. He wraps his arms protectively around me as we fall back, lying low in the boat with my eyes clenched shut. An incoherent stream of thoughts stampede through my mind as I feel a force of wind swirling over me.
I want to live. I need to win the contest. I have to become a designer. I refuse to suffocate in this cave before I ever have sex with Matt. I’d be so disappointed if I don’t get to eat another roll from the relaxation lounge. I’d feel so much better if I could just have a glass bottle of soda. And then one final thought comes to mind as it feels like the air is sucked away around me.
Daniella will kill me if I die in Capri.
15
“Open your eyes.”
I hear Matt speaking in my ear, but I can’t follow through on his request yet. I’m concentrating on my breathing. In and out. Deep and even. I’m alive. Matt’s arms are around me. After feeling the dinghy surge forward a few seconds ago, Matt sat us up as a misty breeze fell over us. The boat moves in a steady rocking motion, and the sound of bellowing singing echoes from every direction.
“Look,” Matt urges me again. “Open your eyes and look.”
This time I do let my eyes slowly flutter open, and when I adjust to my new surroundings, it feels like I slipped inside a night-light. Inside a dream. Paolo starts to sing in full voice and the other sailors are singing from their dinghies as well—different songs in different pitches as their voices bounce off the damp cave walls. I look down at the water and it’s an incandescent blue. My fear has lessened, but it’s still there. I do my best to forge ahead of it. I don’t want it stealing this memory from me. Scary moments can be beautiful, too.
“Do you like it?” I soon hear Matt asking me.
“It’s incredible,” is all I manage to say. My brain tries to lure me back to reality, reminding me that there’s only that one tiny exit out and maybe not enough air in here, but I close my eyes and open them again with a deep breath. I’m alive. Matt’s arms are around me.
Repeating those words in my head like a mantra, I lean toward the side of the dinghy, carefully dipping the tips of my fingers into the water. It’s warm, shockingly so, and looking down, I can barely see the sea floor beyond the hazy glow that’s cast back at us.
“Any chance you’d want to go in?” Matt asks, though I’m pretty sure he already knows my answer.
I shake my head, turning to smile at him before drawing my fingers back through the water. “Sometimes it’s better just to look.”
Matt nods and keeps his arms where they are. Secured around me. It feels like I’m in a safe little bubble. I sit back into him, letting him take on some of my weight. We stay in the grotto for about five minutes before our dinghy starts moving toward the mouth of the cave. My insides tighten as we lie back again, but thankfully, our ride out doesn’t feel quite as treacherous as our journey in. Still, I couldn’t be happier when we’re out in the blessedly open air and after a short while, my heartbeat returns to normal.
“You did it,” Matt says as we sit up. “I’m very proud of you.”
His words affect me more than they should. “Thanks,” I answer, twisting around to catch his eye. “I hope I didn’t ruin this for you.”
“In no way did you ruin anything. Having you with me made it amazing and memorable.” He pivots to look at a smiling Paolo. “I bet people scream going into the cave all the time, right?”
“Oh no,” he answers jovially. “No one ever screams. You two are the first.”
“See,” Matt says, looking at me again. “Memorable.”
A while later we’re back on the boat with Captain Sebastian, continuing our tour around the island. I’ve taken another two million photos, and now Matt and I are lying on the cushioned deck in the center of the boat, soaking up the sun. With my cheeks growing warm, I roll onto my side and rest my head on my hand, looking down at Matt.
“Tell me the truth,” I say. “Am I or am I not the twenty-seventh girl you’ve brought to the grotto?”
Matt turns his head to look at me but stays lying down. “Are we talking this month only or the grand total to date?”
“I’m just curious about how elaborate your seductions really are. I mean, here I am feeling all special, yet you and Captain Sebastian could very well be in cahoots and do this every weekend.”
“Right,” Matt says lightly, pulling off his sunglasses. “Not that I wouldn’t be open to it, but I’m pretty sure Captain Sebastian never wants to see me again.”
“I truly don’t,” Captain Sebastian answers from out of nowhere.
Matt and I look at each other and exchange a laugh. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I know this isn’t the smoothest segue, but you basically know all about my lackluster love life, so I want to hear about your past, too.”
Matt props himself up on his elbows behind him. “Maybe I’m single because I’m a bad person.”
