I have always loved first rehearsals. Some people hate it—the nauseous, nervous knots it ties in your stomach. The uncertainty. The adrenaline. But not me. For me, it’s like the first day of school, but it’s my dream school, and all I want to do is prove that I belong. That I’m worthy. I’m addicted to that initial excitement. The thrill of seeing the other actors. The moment where the concept of being part of a play becomes a reality.
And this, by no means, is going to be a typical production. We’re under a massive time crunch, and as such, we have fourteen straight days of rehearsing, from now until opening night. All of the actors are expected to be off book by today, and I cannot wait to see what they bring to each of their roles.
Juliette, Roshni, and I are seemingly the first to arrive, walking through the large rehearsal space where a circle of about twenty chairs is arranged in the center of the room. Even with a skeleton crew, there’s a sizable number of people involved in this production. The director, the cast (two main actors and two supporting), the production manager, the stage manager, the props manager, and all the designers (lighting, sound, set, and costume). Roshni and I will fill in for any odd jobs that need doing, and a handful of interns will arrive in the final few days to help more.
Speaking of Roshni, she’s all but vibrating in anticipation and is flushed with nerves. Juliette is harder to read. Not indifferent, exactly, but not thrilled either. Like she’s just taken a bite of her favorite meal but it’s being served cold and outside in the rain with no utensils—but maybe she’s still enjoying it a little because itisher favorite meal, after all.
“The space is nice,” I hear myself saying, my voice echoing through the room.
“It is,” Juliette agrees. “I’m just wondering when our fabulous director will arrive.”
As if on cue, the door opens, and in walks a woman who looks to be not too much older than me. I’m twenty-nine and she seems around mid-thirties tops. She’s wearing comfortable jeans and a gray T-shirt, no makeup, and her long blond hair is pulled back in a high ponytail. Thin-rimmed glasses, the total opposite of Juliette’s, are perched on her lightly freckled nose.
“Good morning, all!” She puts her paper coffee cup down on the refreshment table and strides directly over to us. “Sorry I wasn’t here to greet you. I just popped out for a minute. Juliette Brassard, I presume?”
Juliette remains undecipherable but pleasant as she shakes her hand, no doubt inwardly sizing her up. “And you must be our brilliant director, Eloise.”
“I don’t know about the brilliant bit, but I am Eloise. Feel free to call me Ellie.”
I like her. Sometimes you see someone, and you just know you’re going to like them. For all our sakes, I’m sending up prayers that Juliette feels the same.
“Will do, Ellie,” she says almost too sweetly.
There’s a twinge of awkwardness creeping in, and I immediately spring forward, eager to diffuse it. “Hi, I’m Winnie, Juliette’s assistant. I emailed you last week.”
“Yes, I remember. Quite a long email, I think?”
“Just a tad. And this is Roshni, our second assistant.”
They shake hands, and Ellie steps back with an easy smile. “Well, you three are quite the contingent. I’m looking forward to working with all of you. The rest of the group should be getting here soon enough, so why don’t we take this chance to have a quick chat?”
“By all means,” Juliette says with a nod. We all move to take seats in the circle of chairs, and Ellie pulls one out towards the center to face Roshni, Juliette, and me. It’s a silent power move, and judging by Juliette’s sly smile, I think it’s one she actually respects. Ellie gets comfortable and leans in, her eyes bright and clear. She seems genuinely excited.
“So, before I start blathering on, let me just say how much I enjoyed revisiting this play. I originally read it a few years back, but returning to it now whilst knowing I was going to be taking it on was a really invigorating experience.”
“Was it?” Juliette asks, half curiously, half skeptically. “And, if you don’t mind me asking, what made it so invigorating?”
Ellie smiles even more. She isn’t afraid of a challenge.
“Well, first off, while I very much enjoyed the dynamics between our main characters, what I think reached me on a deeper level was their mutual assertion of powerlessness in their shared situation. That’s the true driving force of the play. At first glance,The Lights of Trafalgarreads as fairly straightforward. Two opposite people accidentally rent the same flat, and neither can give it up for various reasons. George stays, lest he admits defeat to his family, and Jocelyn stays because she’s paid her deposit, and leaving would be an extreme financial strain. Both characters rail against their circumstances and each other for a majority of the first act, but really, neither of them are forced into anything.”
My eyes dart to Juliette, waiting for her to scoff, but she’s eerily quiet. Drinking in Ellie’s assertion as she boldly goes on.
“If either of our characters truly wanted to leave that flat, they could. They would face difficulties, to be sure, but nothing insurmountable. They cling to the idea that destiny has somehow schemed them into this alleged torment, but really, they choose to stay together from the start because neither of them has the emotional fortitude to face the world on their own. They hold all of their own power from the very beginning but continuously refuse to wield it. They safeguard their ‘powerlessness’ and offer their agency to each other every time they choose to stay in that flat because surrender is easier and infinitely more indecent. The play is innately rooted in fear, and yearning, and conformity, and eventual rebellion, as well as love, which any audience can relate to. People, especially people today, shy away from power in one breath and then gorge it down in another. That’s what I’m really looking forward to exploring in this production—the delicate but riotous struggle for balance.”
The three of us are silent after that. All of us watching Ellie like she’s some bespectacled theater nymph that we’ve somehow happened upon.
“That’s an...interesting interpretation.” If another person said that, it might be considered vague. Coming from Juliette, it’s earth-shattering. She starts to lean in a little too, bracing her wrists down just above her knee. She and Ellie almost look huddled together.
Dear god. Is this going to be a healthy collaborative experience? Please excuse me while my soul leaves my body.
“And clearly you’re passionate about the project,” Juliette says.
“I am.”
“So, what approach are you thinking of taking here?”
“To start, there’s two things in particular that I feel strongly about. Firstly, I’ve decided to do a gender swap. A woman is going to play George, and a man will be playing Jocelyn. Honestly, I knew I was probably going to do that early on, but once I saw it played out in front of me during the casting process, it only confirmed that gender-bending was the way to go.”
