Chapter One
Present day.
The stench of drugs and lust hung heavy in the damp, stagnant air. They were so intermingled I could hardly tell them apart anymore. It was rare for private parties to rage this long, but whoever the host was, they’d entertained their guests far into the early morning hours. I certainly wasn’t complaining. At only six drinks deep and still waiting for the pills to kick in, I’d take any excuse to stall out the night.
I had earned the right to be here. My full-ride scholarship to the Institute of Technology and my consistent academic success served as proof. At only twenty-one, I was young and free, if only for tonight. I’d made myself at home in a stranger’s apartment, and there was nowhere I’d rather be.
“Want a smoke?” a man asked as he slid in beside me on the torn leather couch.
I didn’t know his name. I didn’t care to ask him, either. He wore his intentions on his sleeve. I saw them in his hungry eyes and the tightness of his pants.
“Sure,” I murmured, snatching a still-lit cigarette from his hand. “Just don’t expect me to pay for it. I take gifts. I don’t do debts.”
Sweet, burning fumes filled my lungs as I took my drag. The smoke that poured from between my lips stained the air with soot-gray coils. Even as I gave the warning, I knew it was a lie. There was one debt I’d taken that I’d never escape, one whose ghost haunted me in the night. I shook my head and forced the thoughts from my mind. Thinking about those things would invite them to consume me, and a breakdown at a party would compromise my already-strained reputation. It was for the best that they stayed buried, drowned in booze and drugs. They couldn’t hurt me so long as I kept them there, kepthimthere.
The man beside me produced a new cigarette from his pocket, his brow furrowing. He lit it up, took it between his lips, and mirrored my drag.
“That’s a pity,” he said. “You know they talk about you, right? They say that if you wanna have a good time, you gotta ask the brunette with a broken smile.”
“You’ve got the wrong brunette, then. My smile works just fine.” I pushed myself off the couch and dismissed him with a wave. “Thanks for the cig. I’ll be going now.”
The man grumbled his disappointment as I left, but I didn’t care—his feelings weren’t my responsibility. I wanted to unwind and forget my problems. I hadn’t come to entertain the stray frat boys who circled like sharks in the water. The moment they smelled blood, they came in for the kill. That’s why I sought safety in the endless sea of bodies packed into the apartment. Being shoulder-to-shoulder with the nameless, faceless masses helped me blend in. I knew people talked about me. I’d garnered quite a reputation. ‘Daredevil’ was what they called me, though ‘reckless’ was probably more apt, and ‘man-eater’ was my personal favorite. Some people liked that. Most people didn’t. Either way, I attracted attention. That attention followed me like a shadow I couldn’t seem to shake.
Plastic fold-out tables lined the apartment’s kitchen, topped with all kinds of refreshments. The crowd thinned here, and without the masses to conceal me, I might be recognized or approached. It was worth the risk. My weak, shaky hands would make it difficult to pour a drink. Instead of trying, I pilfered a cup of fizzy purple liquid that sat unattended near a table’s edge. It wasn’t water, but it wet my mouth just enough to reward another drag from my cigarette.
That was all I needed.
The heady surge of the nicotine swirled together with the deep, pleasant haze of my oncoming high, which settled over me like a blanket. I relaxed into the feeling. I lived for these moments, where for a few blissful hours, I could cast off the chains of reality and immerse myself in ecstasy. Had there been better offers on display, I just might have bothered courting them. I wasn’t the type to turn down a good lay and a warm bed. None seemed worth the effort, and what a shame that was. I’d be on my own for the night, and I had never liked my own company.
I swapped my now-empty cup for a full one from the table, then turned to walk away. I took two steps before colliding with something large and sturdy. My hold on my cup slipped. As it fell, my drink spilled, staining my bubblegum-pink dress and sending ice-cold liquid down my legs. I groaned in annoyance. When I looked up, I saw not a wall, but the concerned face of a man that blurred in my unfocused vision.
“That you, Lil?”
The familiarity of his voice cut through my dissociated daze. I searched my scattered memories for his name. Lucas? Leon, maybe? The syllables just wouldn’t come together.
“Um… Leroy?”
Our eyes met. I held his gaze for a moment longer than was probably polite. It took all my effort to speak, and I heard how the booze slurred my words. He must have heard it too, for he breathed a heavy sigh.
“You don’t remember me?” the man asked, his voice tinged with surprise and the sharp indignation of hurt. “It’sLevi,but that isn’timportant right now. You aren’t looking so good. C’mon, let’s get you out on the balcony for some fresh air.”
Levi took my free hand in his. As soon as I registered what was happening, I snatched it away and stumbled backward. With every step, the world spun around me, threatening to knock me off balance. I nearly barreled into another nearby partygoer as I fought to keep my footing.
“I’m alright, and I don’t need any help. Thanks for your concern.”
“Lillia. Look at yourself; you can barely stand! You should be glad I’m not sending you home in this state.”
Part of me wanted to object, but I couldn’t weave a lie worth telling, none that would be convincing, at least. My mind swam in hazy bliss, making it hard to talk, hard to think. If… Leo, was it? Knew my name, then he’d have the sense to stop the vultures sneaking in to feed, assuming he wasn’t one of them, trying to secure the feast for himself. Even that might not be so bad. Anything to keep me moving, to keep the silence from creeping in and dragging me into dreams.
So long as he left me my life and my wallet, I would share my body.
“Fine,” I said as I cast my gaze to the floor. “I suppose I can step out. Just for a bit.”
“Come on, then.”
His hand closed around mine for the second time. I didn’t appreciate his touch, but I allowed him to guide me through the crowd. He set a slow pace to accommodate me as I stumbled along behind him.
When at last he paused, we stood before a pair of sliding glass doors. Though covered by blinds, the first golden light of dawn shone through them and into the dim apartment. It was a warning and a victory cry, announcing one more night’s conquest over sleep, and the repercussions that would follow my hollow triumph.
