Maddox’s eyes flash with worry, but the reassuring smile I give in turn seems to be enough to make him calm down. When I step close enough that I can brush my knuckles against the back of his hand in a brief touch that seems to linger even after we separate, he nods.
“Of course we can.”
I nod, ducking my head so he doesn’t see the shoot of nerves that threaten to overtake me. I’m being braver for him—for us… but I still don’t know if I like the way it feels.
The auditorium is nearly empty when Maddox turns back to me, his eyes flickering to the middle of the stage. I know exactly where he’s looking, and it makes a blush rise to my cheeks that I turn to hide. I’m quiet until the last of the students’ voices leave the room, and even then, I sweep my eyes around a few times before I shake my head.
“Can we go back to your office?”
The teasing expression on his face falls, and his eyebrows dip again.
“Are you sure everything’s all right?” I know where the concern is coming from, or at least I can guess. He’s probably worried that I’m thinking about what happened to Professor Hilman.
That’s not it.
At least… that’s not really it? I am thinking about how he caught us, how Maddox could have lost his job.
I’m thinking about what I want for us, and how I can make sure that we can have it.
“It’s okay, I promise. Come on,” I reach my hand out to him, and the feeling of my fingers sliding through his as I lead him to the door seems to calm him down. I hate having to let go when we get into the hall… and that’s part of this too.
We’re quiet until we get to his office, and I lock the door behind me and double check that it’s closed before I follow him to his desk, climbing onto his lap like it’s a perfectly normal thing to do.
That makes him tilt his head in a mixture of arousal and confusion. “I thought you wanted to talk, Luca.”
“I do,” I say, and then press my lips gently to his. Hopefully the kiss will take a little bit of the sting out of what I’m about to say next. I let him slide his tongue between my lips and taste me until I can feel heat blossoming along every inch of my body, until I’m hard against his stomach.
When I pull back, he’s a little breathless, and his pupils are blown… and maybe that will be enough to make what I’m about to say easier.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Wait. Wait, I phrased that wrong. I know I did by the sudden devastation that rockets across his features like I’ve pulled the whole world down around his ears… “What… did I do?—”
“Be your TA! I can’t be your TA anymore.” I almost shout it over the confusion, though his arms suddenly tightening around me makes the words come out as more an exhalation than a shout. “I can’t be your TA anymore.”
He still looks half shocked, so I lean in and press my lips to his again. The kiss slowly coaxes him to relax, though his arms around me are still so tight I can barely breathe.
“You really need to work on your phrasing, little lamb.”
I drop my head to his shoulder, afraid he’s going to put me over his lap and spank me if he realizes I’m giggling. I’m not good at hiding it, though, because my shoulders are shaking.
Finally, I turn and press a kiss to that sweet spot just beneath his jawline. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. And I hope you aren’t mad at me… but… I really think it’s for the best.”
There’s a beat, but his fingers start running up and down the length of my back, the tips bumping along the ridge of my spine like he’s counting the spaces in between to sooth himself. “I’m not angry, but I am curious. Why?”
My head lifts, and this time I’m the one with my brows drawn together. “We almost got caught. Wehavegotten caught. Twice. I’ve read over the handbooks a dozen times. A professor and student can have a relationship if we disclose it and we aren’t in class together. But a professor and their TA aren’t allowed. Power dynamics.” I shake my head, leaning in and pressing another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I don’t want to love you quietly, Maddox. I want to be able to do it out loud… and I can’t do that if we get caught right before the semester ends and your job is at risk, or I have to do my graduate program somewhere else to keep you employed. I want to eventually tell people.” I’m grinning now, probably at the exasperated look on his face. Definitely at the soft adoration shining from his eyes.
“Do you really think we can’t keep our hands off each other for the next few weeks until the semester is over?” I glance between us, wiggling my ass… where he had both of his hands firmly planted. He sighs. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I know that if I quit now and we announce a relationship later, it’ll look a lot better than if we finish out the semester and suddenly we’re together. It shows that we took the proper steps… even if we didn’t.”
I know I’m right, and I can tell by his expression that he does too.
It doesn’t stop him from squeezing my ass and pulling me flush against his body. “The way I want to absolutely turn you over my knee for scaring me like that, little lamb.”
I climb off his lap, bending over his desk and looking over my shoulder at him. “I quit. Which means I’m not your TA anymore… so you’re perfectly allowed to do whatever you want…” I tilt my head and grin, adding on my last words nearly breathlessly. “Come on, Professor… show me how to begood.”
Chapter
