Thirty-Two
MADDOX
Luca leaves my office,red faced and fighting not to hold his stinging ass. He’ll remember me for the rest of the day.
He fucking scared me.
I thought he’d found out what I did to Hilman and wanted nothing to do with me.
Luca is right, we do need to come forward with our relationship, but I hope we can still keep it low-key. I don’t want anyone to think I’m like Hilman—that I coerced him into a relationship by holding his position as a TA over his head to get what I wanted from him.
I’ll convince Luca to disclose to the dean, but not everyone else. At least that way, they won’t think that Luca’s a victim. I couldn’t stand that for him.
A few minutes after Luca leaves—I have to straighten the papers on my desk that he gripped in his hands while taking a spanking like a good boy—Crista comes into my office, her face red and her hands wringing in front of her.
“Did you hear?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say shortly.
She sighs and walks closer to my desk, pressing her hands flat on the surface. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you about him,” she says. “I thought you?—”
“You thought I was bitter and jaded and didn’t like happy people,” I finish for her. “I know what you thought. But that man hurt Luca. He hurt other students. And instead of listening to me, the man who is supposed to be your best friend, you sent Luca to him.”
She doesn’t deserve all of my ire, but I’m pissed that she put him in a position for Hilman to hurt him. Hilman could have done more than touch Luca and make him feel uncomfortable in his office. He could have broken Luca permanently.
Crista ducks her head, and nods, swallowing roughly. “I didn’t know. But you’re right. I should have listened. He had us all fooled. From what I heard from the police, his suicide note says he hurt other students. I can’t… I never knew.”
“Well, he can’t hurt anyone else.” Crista looks at me oddly, but doesn’t comment. I’m sure I’m not doing what I should do, pretending to be torn up and sad to hide my crime, but I’m hoping by acting under the guise of not liking that fucker, she just thinks I’m not sorry he’s dead.
I’m not sorry. And I’d do it again if it would save Luca from any pain.
Crista murmurs another apology, then leaves, her head down and shoulders slumped.
I’ll apologize to her when my temper cools. She couldn’t have known, but I still feel some type of way that my word wasn’t good enough for her.
Luca would probably tell me that it’s not her fault, that she had no way of knowing, butIwas her way of knowing. Sometimes it pays to be cynical so I can see through the bullshit.
I have to fight my scowl for the rest of the day as I see rest in peace signs for Hilman. He deserves to fucking burn for being a predator.
There are extra counselors on campus for students, giving false platitudes and offering private sessions.
As I’m headed across the quad, I hear one student wonder aloud to a friend why Hilman wouldn’t just quit instead of confessing his crimes and killing himself. The response he gets makes me feel like I did the right thing.
“That guy was a fucking creep. I told you what he did to my roommate last year. No one but me believed him. I’m glad Hilman’s dead.”
So am I, kid.
“Is this really necessary?” Luca asks as I push open the door to the cabin I rented for us. “We just had a date a few weeks ago. This is too much.”
Luca’s semester is winding down and he’s taking mountains of exams for his double major. He’s been studying so hard, I can practically see his notes falling out of his brain through his ears. He looks exhausted when he finally climbs into my bed, and even in sleep, it’s like he’s studying.
A weekend away will do him some good.
I know he’s studying hard to secure the future he wants, and I admire his work ethic, but Luca doesn’t allow himself time to relax.
Real rich coming from me, but it’s my job to take care of him, even if I don’t apply that same philosophy to myself.
“It is, little lamb,” I say, kissing him quickly as I take his bag from his hand and toss it onto the couch. “You have a big week next week. I want you to relax and unwind for a little while. Okay?”
