“No, he doesn’t know.”
“Well then.” She pats my shoulder gently. “You tell him, and then you figure out how to handle it together. That’s what loving someone is.”
I’m not sure how to tell her that a small part of me is worried Professor Levine might do something a little rash if he figures out what Professor Hilman did, because if I tell him… if I tell him, I need to tell him the entire story. From the beginning. But… he told me about his past.
It’s only fair.
“I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am,” she stands up as she says it. “I’m going to get you a container so you can take these snacks to go after we have dinner.” When she looks back at me, Grandma’s eyes are twinkling. “And Luca?”
“Hm?” I’m already trying to time out how late it’s going to be if I start driving back right after dinner. I was planning on heading back Sunday morning, but…
“If that person keeps giving you trouble, come back to me. I may be old, but your grandmother still knows how to kick ass when she needs to.”
My jaw drops as I watch her walk away.
I still haven’t sent Maddox the text that’s sitting on my phone, and I’m not even sure if he’shomeright now. I have a box of cookies and brownies clutched to my chest… and I can feel my heart thundering as I walk to his door.
I barely have time to knock before it flings open.
He looksbad. His blond hair is disheveled, and his eyes look… haunted. It’s dark out… definitely too late for me to be showing up to someone’s house…
But…
“I’m sorry.” The words spill from my lips before I can stop them, and the hot sting of tears in my eyes is nearly enough to make me run back to my car. But then he reaches out and catches me around the waist, and suddenly nothing matters. There’s just his warmth, the scent of him. There’s the feel of his big body as he pulls me tight and closes the door behind me.
And then there’s his hands on my face as he turns me to look up at him.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I answer, my voice sounding wet. And then, “But I think I will be. I… I’m sorry I left. It wasn’t anything you did. I needed to think… I was afraid, I?—”
His mouth is warm when he presses a soft kiss to my lips, stealing away the stutters that make it impossible for me to tell him what’s happening. He draws me back with our lips still together and then brings me to the couch, pulling the container of sweets from my fingers and tossing it to the table as he does.
Maddox pulls me until I’m straddling his lap, and with his broad arms wrapped around me and my entire body flush against his… I feel like I can breathe for the first time since Professor Hilman threatened me.
When I pull back, he looks at me, his eyes deep like the ocean…
Waves are powerful, though, and the ocean is deep enough to take a secret and keep it safe. I drop my head down to his shoulder and let out a trembling breath.
“Luca…” And then, “Little lamb…” His fingers skate up my back, drawing soothing patterns against my spine. “Tell me what’s wrong. Did I do something?”
“No,” I manage, pressing my face tighter against the curve of his neck. “Professor Hilman saw us. He threatened to tell everyone if I didn’t break it off…” I don’t miss the way his arms spasm around me for just a second, stealing my breath, but then he goes back to those same soothing circles on my back. “I was thinking about dropping out so he didn’t have a reason to hurt you. He… he…”
I finally raise my head to look at him. I can feel how wet my face is, how much my eyes burn. But I can see that he’s here—he’s safe. An ocean deep enough to take all my pain and doubt and swallow it down, warm enough to keep me steady and safe, floating in the waves and bathed in the starlight of an endless sky.
“He what?” There’s something just a little dangerous on the edge of the question, but it doesn’t matter.
“When I was a freshman in his class, he used to tell me how smart I was. How proud he was of me. One day he called me into his office and kissed me.” Maddox’s eyes go dark, and I almost don’t say the rest. Almost. “He put his hands down my pants and started to touch me. I tried to tell him no, but he told me I just wasn’t sure about what I wanted, but he’d show me.” Thatdarkness flashes to something dangerous, and I squirm. “The only reason he stopped is because another student came in. I’ve been avoiding him ever since, but… when he saw me with you… I…”
I shake my head, some strange twist of shame and relief rocking through me.
“Has he touched you since?” That same dangerous edge is still there, something hot and burning… but Maddox’s hands are still so gentle as he runs them up and down my back.
“He tried… that day I came into your office and I was upset. I didn’t let him, though. I don’t wantanyoneto touch me but you, Mads. I…”
Oh God…
