And somehow she knows.
Well, at least part of it.
My lips press together. I knew if I came here, I’d end up asking for advice… and trying to figure out how to do that without outing myself to her is going to be hard.
I’m not sure what I’ll do if I have to come face-to-face with the fact that she can’t accept me for who I am. I think about all of her friends, and how they go to church every Sunday… and I know what kind of things that can teach…
And then I think of her… and the way she makes me cookies, the concern on her face… the way she’s loved me from the day my dad dropped me on her doorstep when I was just a kid and has never looked back.
Heat pools behind my lashes as I drop my gaze.
“I think I love him.”
The pause that fills the air is choking, thick enough that I can barely breathe around it. I stare at the plate of sweets in front of me, trying to make out the shape of the cookies through the tears blurring my eyes…
And then I see a weathered hand reach forward and take one off the plate. “I mean, it’s about time you found someone… but if you’re here, does that mean he isn’t treating you right?”
My eyes lift in near slow motion and I stare at my grandmother, delicately nibbling on a cookie while she watches me with a curious gaze.
“I…” Tears spill over as I blink at her. “I… you don’t care?”
“I mean… he’s probably a littleoldfor you if he’s a college professor, but you are a very mature boy, so…” She takes another nibble, and I can tell she’s intentionally missing the point.
“You don’t care that he’s a man?” I finally spell it out for her, and she smiles. Just that lift of her lips makes the weight of everything else fall away. That’s the same smile she gave me when I got into college, the same smile she gave me when I brought home my first paper I got an A on.
Proud.
Loving.
Solid proof that no matter what happens, my whole world is never going to crumble.
“I…” I can’t form the proper words. I can’tthink.I just stare at her until she leans forward.
“Luca, I know your father wasn’t the best man… and I can say that, because I gave birth to him.” I’ve never heard her talk poorly about my dad. We’ve never really talked about him. “But I wouldneverabandon you for following your heart. How could I be upset with you for finding someone who makes you happy?”
I’m still in shock. My mouth opens, shuts… and then finally I get out one more word. “Grandpa?”
She waves her hand. “If he weren’t at work, he’d tell you the same thing. Honestly…” She leans in, patting my hand. “He’s been wondering if you were even interested in people at all.”
My brows dip at that, the words echoing over me slowly. “I… I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t before him. He makes me feel…” I pause again, blowing out a soft breath. “Safe. Like I’m a good person. He makes me…”
“Happy?” she finishes for me, and I nod. “Well then, that’s all that matters, sweetheart.”
That’s all that matters.
God, I’ve been so afraid of what she’d think, so afraid she wouldn’t love me if she knew… and I’m realizing now I should have known better all along.
Which means when I drop my hands to my lap and ask my next question, I don’t have to be afraid.
“What am I supposed to do if someone is trying to come between us?” There’s another beat of silence, and when I look up, her mouth is pinched. “Grandma?”
“Well, doesheknow it’s happening?”
My heart drops. I haven’t told him what Professor Hilman did—the way he stepped onto the stage and told me I had until Monday to break it off with Maddox or he’d leak the video to the entire school. And then he’d brushed a tear off my cheek and promised he’d make it worth my while.
And… what had I done? I’d run, because I wasn’t sure what to do.
I’d run, because I knew I couldn’t break it off with Maddox, and a small part of me had been considering dropping out of school, because he couldn’t get into trouble if I wasn’t a student there. I’d considered every possibility, but…
