His grandparents?
Carefully, I ask, “Did your parents pass?”
Luca looks up as if thinking. “Parent… I don’t remember my mom much at all. And I haven’t seen my dad since I was a kid.”
“Why?” slips out of my mouth before I can try more tact.
Luca shrugs, though his face closes off slightly. “He was a drug addict. He never really wanted kids, and he made sure to remind me every chance he could. I’m honestly surprised he kept me as long as he did. My grandparents are my parents.”
That’s heavy… and so much like my life. Why do Luca and I have to have even more in common? It’s already hard to keep my word that this will only be physical after what just happened between us.
My parents weren’t the best either. The most they did was keep a roof over my head. At least Luca had his grandparents there for him. I had no one.
Don’t say it, Mad. Shut up. Keep it to yourself. Don’t?—
“My parents were alcoholics,” I find myself saying, much to my own dismay. “The most they did was pay the bills so I had somewhere to stay while I was in school.” Luca’s eyes flare, but he watches me with rapt attention, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “They weren’t caring, weren’t loving. I don’t even think they liked me.”
“Do you have siblings?”
“Thankfully, no. I don’t know where I’d be if I had a sibling to take care of, because they wouldn’t have. It’s just me.”
“I’m an only child too,” Luca says, smiling gently at me. “Though I’m sure Grandma and Grandpa would have taken in everyone if I had siblings. They’re great.”
I hold Luca tight, happy that he had someone in his corner. I had to grow up tough, being a theater kid. Bullies were ruthless for people who did anything different. But that didn’t break me. When I got into football, it actually toughened me up and bullies stayed away. I was able to overcome my shitty past.
Would Luca have had the same luck? He’s so small, so fragile, so innocent. If he’d had my life—without loving parents or anyone in his corner—he probably would have broken.
Kissing his forehead just to feel the softness of his skin, I whisper, “I’m glad you had them.”
He sighs as he wraps his arms tighter around me. “Me too. Where were your grandparents?”
“Just as bad as my parents. Not present. I’m sure one or both set is dead.”
“That’s rough. I’m sorry.” He sounds so sad, and I feel like a miserable bastard for bringing down the night he lost his virginity, a night he’d said was perfect.
Shaking my head, I push away thoughts of my past. “It’s all good. Are you hungry, little lamb?”
“No,” he says around a wide yawn. “Tired. I just want to sleep.”
I chuckle as he burrows himself into my chest. A few minutes later, his breathing changes, deepening as he falls asleep.
God, why does our similar pasts make me feel closer to him? We shouldn’t have talked, shouldn’t have shared those secrets.
Because now, all I want to do is take care of Luca so he’ll never feel abandoned again.
Chapter
Seventeen
LUCA
I’ve never wokenup next to someone before, and I’m lucky that Professor Levine snores, or he probably would have heard me let out a small little squeak when I realized where I was.
I freeze like I’m an animal caught in a trap and wait for the panic to rush along my skin and settle somewhere in my chest.
Instead, I’m just… warm, calm…
I feel…
