We don’t speak, just make our way to it.
Inside, it’s cooler but dry, the air still and smelling faintly of old smoke. A ring of blackened stone marks where someone had once made camp. Serenya moves toward the far wall, settling down with her knees pulled close, her hood pushed back, and the bottom of her dress soaked through. I hate how she has to walk around in these flooded lands in a dress because she was in too big a hurry trying to save me and didn’t get a chance to change first.
I busy myself with the firepit, gathering what dry wood I can find and coaxing the flame to life. The light slowly grows, spilling over her face.
Removing my leathers, I tug my shirt off, then slip the leathers back on. I hold my shirt out to her, and she hesitates only for a second before she removes her cloak and slips the shirt over her dress. Taking our cloaks, I lay them by the fire to dry. Then I sit down close enough beside her for our arms to brush. Her shoulders stiffen. She doesn’t move away, but she doesn’t look at me either.
“Thank you,” she says, so quietly I barely catch it.
“I don’t want to keep playing this game,” I say, keeping my tone quiet, almost casual.
Her eyes stay on the flames. “What game?”
“The one where we pretend to hate each other. Where we trade insults like they mean more than they do.” I don’t know how she truly feels about me. Maybe she does hate me. Maybe she means every insult. I’m not sure. All I can do is hope I’m not alone in this.
She doesn’t say anything. The fire crackles between us, filling the silence she leaves.
I turn toward her then, letting my gaze take in the curve of her cheek, the faint shadows under her eyes, the way the firelight dances in her white hair. She must feel my attention because after a long moment, she turns and meets my stare.
The movement puts her closer than I expected. Close enough that the heat of the fire isn’t the only thing warming my skin. Close enough to see her freckles and the different shades of purple shimmering in her eyes, almost like stars.
“It’s strange,” I murmur, my voice almost lost in the sound of the rain outside. “It feels like I’ve known you much longer than I have.”
I see the moment she begins to shut down—her gaze goes distant, like she is slipping away somewhere far beyond reach. She pulls away, rising to her feet.
“You’re wrong,” she says, her voice small but firm.
“Wrong?” I ask, rising to my feet too.
Her eyes meet mine, and for the briefest moment, there’s something in them, like a flicker of tenderness. But it’s gone before I can hold on to it. “I haven’t been playing a game. I meant everything I said. A few nice moments, and you think there’s something here, between us. You are…” She falters, but when her eyes meet mine again, they’re hollow—empty. “You are just another champion in these trials. Nothing more.”
It hits like a punch to the gut. Just like that, she says the one thing I didn’t want to hear. My heart feels like it was ripped right out of my chest.It shouldn’t hurt like this. Shouldn’t hurt at all. We barely know each other.
I search her face, hoping to find something, anything to prove I’m not alone in this. All I find is distance. Her eyes are vacant, like she’s not even here. She’s looking through me as if I’ve become a ghost in her world. Her mind has gone somewhere far away.
“Serenya?” I step toward her, a lump forming in my throat. I reach for her, but she flinches, her eyes snapping to mine with a terror I can’t understand. My hand hovers in the air, then falls to my side, powerless.
Without a word, she turns away, retreating to the far side of the cave, her movements stiff, like she’s retreating into herself. The small distance between us now feels like an ocean. She curls into a ball on the floor, facing the wall, and I stand frozen—wondering where her mind had gone.
I run a hand down my face, sitting back down and resting my elbows on my knees. I lean my head back against the cold cave wall, closing my eyes, but the pain in my chest won’t fade.
How could I have been so wrong? I could have sworn she felt the same. I mean, she came for me. That has to mean something, right?
I glance over at her again, longing to be even a little closer to her. As I watch her, I can’t help but picture the dream Ihad the other night. Her smile. Her laugh. The way she looked so alive and free. The way her eyes were so fullof light and love. What would it be like to have her look at me like that outside of a dream? What would it be like if she saw me, not as just another man competing for her hand, but as someone worth loving?
------------? ? ? ? ?------------
Serenya
The fire has burned low, embers glowing faintly in the dark. Koen’s breathing is slow and steady on the other side of the cave. I lay with my back to him, staring at the uneven stone wall, willing sleep to come. It doesn’t.
My mind keeps circling back to the way he’d looked at me earlier. Like he saw more than I wanted him to. Like he sawme.
I roll onto my back, staring at the shadows above—the air heavy with the scent of rain and smoke. Finally, I give up on sleep and slip outside.
The rain has stopped, leaving flooded ground that gleams under the starlight, reflecting the night sky back at me.
Above, the stars burn clear and bright, the same way they always have. The same way they had all those nights I’d sit with Kallan.
