Clare’s brows shot straight up, but then a sly smile covered her face. “Really?”
“Yes. And you’re the one who gave me the idea. Last time we spoke.”
“Really?” Clare’s brows remained raised. “Remind me. What exactly did I say?”
“You said, ‘Marriage and sex are two different things. No one knows that better than I do. One is certainly not dependent on the other.’”
“Well,that’strue,” Clare replied with a snort-laugh.
“And I…I never felt as if Maxwell and I…well, it wasnotfulfilling.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Clare continued, shaking her head.
Meredith winced. The truth was that Maxwell’s lovemaking had consisted of slobber-filled kisses and unceremonious breast-grabbing. Then he’d rolled atop her and, well, she hadn’t felt much. Just some ineffective thrusting before he rolled off of her and cursed her for some failing on her part that she didn’t exactly understand. All she really did know was that none of it had been pleasant.
But she’d heard ladies talk about passion. She’d read books that acclaimed it. For more than one reason, she would never marry again, but she waseagerto take a lover. What would it feel like to have a young, handsome virile man atop her? What would it feel like to actuallywantto go to bed with a man, be touched by him, touch him back? The thought sent a delicious shiver through her.
“It’s high time you did this,” Clare was saying as shepicked up her teacup and held it out in front of her. “No doubt I shall hear no end of it from Mother when I return, but pour me another cup of tea, Your Grace, anddo tell me more. I’m quite happy to help you plan everything.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
The Next Evening, The Rothschilds’ Ballroom
“You cannot expect to court a lady if you’re spending all your time atmyside,” Meredith explained to Griffin as they strolled through the crowded ballroom arm in arm.
Tonight, she was wearing one of her favorite gowns, a lovely pink concoction with tiny roses embroidered along both the hem and empire waist. Her hair was swept up in a dark chignon, and she’d finished the ensemble with Mama’s diamond necklace and earbobs.
One of the things Meredith loved best about being a widow was the ability to go nearly anywhere, wear whatever she liked, and do mostly what she liked. There was such freedom in widowhood it had nearly been worth the awful years of her marriage. Nearly. At any rate, it felt good to be back in Society, to no longer have to worry about her failure to give the Duke of Maxwell an heir. She was done worrying about Maxwell’s condemnation. It was time to live for herself. And she was ready. Which was precisely why she’ddecided to take a lover. A small grin popped to her lips the way it always did when she thought of it.
Just as she’d suspected, Clare hadn’t judged her at all. To the contrary, she’d been a fountain of knowledge. Who knew her scandal-ridden friend would have such information to impart? Clare had been the first and only person who Meredith had told of her wicked plans. But tonight, she intended to inform Griffin as well. But for some reason, her stomach was in knots over it. Why did she have the feeling Griffin wouldn’t be quite as approving?
“Who says I’m beginning my courtship tonight?” Griffin replied from her side, jarring her from her scandalous reverie.
As usual, Griffin looked handsome as sin. Tall and dark, he wore all black evening attire that was perfectly fitted and a snowy white shirt front and matching cravat that was expertly and effortlessly tied. Griffin always wore the finest clothing, and he did it while simultaneously giving the impression that he had barely tried.
“I’ve always pictured him withyou, Mere.” Clare’s words niggled at Meredith’s mind. Truthfully, she’d been unable to sleep last night for thinking about them. She and Griffin? No. The notion was ludicrous.Ludicrous.
Of course Griffin was handsome, and tall, and fit, and muscled, and clever, and funny, and wise and…well, everything a woman would want in a man…a partner. But that was just it. Meredith wasn’t looking for a partner. She wasn’t looking for a husband. She was in the market for a lover, and she would never jeopardize her friendship with Griffin for a few (or even many) sinful nights of pleasure. Not to mention, that wouldn’t be fair to Griffin’s future wife. And Griffin needed a wife. He needed an heir. And Meredith could not give him either.
Besides, he’d already indicated that he had a lady in mind.Griffin was about to make some fortunate young woman’s dreams come true. And that was what they should concentrate on tonight.
Meredith surveyed the crowd filled with beautiful, well-dressed ladies. Who? Who did Griffin fancy? Not knowing had been slowly driving her mad all week. But the even greater mystery was did helovethis woman? That question had haunted Meredith ever since Clare had asked it. But for some reason, the thought of hearing his answer made her uneasy.
“Aren’tyou beginning your courtship?” Meredith replied, intent on keeping her thoughts firmly where they belonged—on the hunt for Griffin’s duchess. Meredith wastryingto work up the courage to ask him if he was in love. Why couldn’t she just ask him? Why? It wasn’t because she didn’t want to know. It was because— Oh, what did it matter? He needed to marry with or without love.
Griffin plucked at his white cuff. “I never saidhowI would go about my courtship, and I certainly never promised to giveyouthe details. Or a timeline,” he finished with a particularly charming smile.
“Fine. Do you at least intend to ask your futurewifeto dance tonight?” Meredith crossed her arms firmly over her chest. The Southbury Stubborn Streak never stopped her from attempting to convince him to do thingsherway. She could be equally as stubborn if need be.
Griffin tipped his head to the side. “Perhaps.”
“I told your mother that you fancy someone,” Meredith admitted in a singsong voice.
Griffin shook his head slightly. “Of course you did. Which means you also told her that you have seven guesses. And that you’ve already used one.”
Meredith fingered the diamonds at her neck. “She had some guesses of her own, you know.”
“Oh? Do tell,” Griffin drawled. He grabbed two champagne flutes from the tray of a passing footman and handed one to Meredith.
