“Oh, Julian. No.”
He nodded. “Yes. In fact, it was my father’s last wish for me.”
She shook her head against the pillow. “What are you talking about?”
“He told me, my last day in London, seven years ago. He told me I should die in battle. He expected it of me.”
“That’s sick. It’s awful. He was wrong.”
Julian glanced down. “Yes, well. He never thought he would need me.”
Tears rolled down Cass’s cheeks. “I’m so happy you lived, Julian, so very happy. I prayed for you every day. Constantly.”
He pulled her tight, squeezed her close. “I know, Cassie. I know. Don’t you see? You saved me. Your love, your letters, I’m here today because of you.”
“I can’t imagine life without you.” She tightened her grip on his shoulders. “Oh, Julian. I’m so frightened of what might have happened had Lucy not given you that letter.”
He squeezed her tightly. “And to think, I almost lost it.”
“Pardon?”
He gently rubbed her shoulder with his free hand. “It was hidden in the sofa for a bit. I was—ahem—jug bitten.”
She turned to look up at him. “Jug bitten?”
“Very well, drunk.”
She laughed. “You were, were you?”
“Yes, if you must know. What did you expect? I thought you were going to marry Upton.”
Her eyes widened. “I was never planning to marry Garrett. I don’t love him, and he doesn’t love me, despite what Lucy thought. He told me so.”
“He said that?”
“Alas, I am obviously not irresistible to every man.”
“It’s a good thing for Upton. I’d hate to have to beat him to a pulp.”
Cass shook her head. “Yes, well, he’s perfectly safe, then. Besides, Daphne told you I’d planned to join the convent.”
He pushed himself up on one elbow and looked at her. “Yes, and a more ludicrous notion I’ve never heard.”
Cass shrugged. “I wanted Mother to know that she cannot just sell me like an object. I wanted to take the power away from her. I wanted control of my own life.”
Julian kissed her earlobe. “Your mother will not tell you what to do ever again.”
Cass closed her eyes and sighed. “Thank heavens.”
“As for Daphne, it seems I’ve made a deal with her. She agreed to tell me your plans in exchange for my agreement to look the other way someday.”
Cass raised both brows. “Are you certain that’s wise, Julian? With Daphne, there’s no telling what she might get up to.”
His crack of laughter echoed off the walls. “Don’t I know it? And to answer your question, no, it’s not wise at all. In fact, it’s the opposite of wise. The mere notion that I agreed to it only demonstrates how out of my mind I was to find you.” He rolled over onto his back and pulled her atop him. Then he kissed her.
Several minutes later, Cass pulled away and looked down at him. “Julian, may I ask you something?”
“Anything, my love.” He pulled her close against him and buried his face in her hair.
