She had kissed Rhys. With enthusiasm. She could hardly pretend it hadn’t been mutual. Oh, God. Where had all her outrage gone? Where had the anger at the months of heartache he’d put her through flown the moment his lips touched hers? The man was detestable. She’d kissed Detestable, of all people!
The worst part was…she’d enjoyed it.
He’d denied having been hurt by her engagement announcement in the paper but, dear God, he had quoted it word-for-humiliating-word. She’d never dreamed he read the gossip pages of theTimes. She supposed it had beennaïveof her to assume he’d never heard about her engagement or that someone hadn’t brought it to his attention, but…she’dneverimagined he’d been hurt by it. He was the one who left and never returned, after all. However, the fact remained that he’d sounded angry when he’d repeated the printed words.Washe hurt? How was that possible?
Well, she’d been hurt too. That’s why she’d fired back with that bit about him lying about returning that Season. Only then he’d said,I suppose when one man is no longer available, any man will do for the most popular debutante of the Season.That had hurt too.Is that what he thought about her? Truly? Is that what he’d believed all these months? That she’d quickly tossed him over for the next eligible bachelor?
It still didn’t explain why he’d left. Her engagement announcement hadn’t come out in the paper until well into her third Season. He might have been angry about it, but that certainly wasn’t what had caused him to leave and not return. No. Rhys was being disingenuous. Doing his best to appear the injured party when they both knewpreciselywhat had happened between them.
The kiss had been entirely unexpected. Perhaps wrong, but necessary as far as Julianna was concerned. Or at least that’s what she’d told herself earlier tonight as she’d tossed and turned in her bed. The kiss had been necessary, she reasoned, because it told her more clearly and powerfully than any words could that Rhys had not stopped having feelings for her.
All this time, these many months, she’d been dogged by the notion that he’d left her because he’d only been playacting with her to begin with. That he’d never truly felt anything for her. But she knew now beyond any doubt that not only had he felt something, he still felt it. Or at least could if circumstances were different.
She also realized that Rhys had a secret. He’d hinted at it, at least, when he’d said he’d ‘done her a favor’ by leaving her that spring. What did he mean? His reply had been vague. But she’d long suspected he’d left for something more than a visit to the country to see his mother. He’d been gone too long. Had written too little.
She’d eventually decided it had just been his way of disengaging from her, but now she suspected more than ever that there had been another reason for his defection. Whatever it was, he didn’t seem inclined to share it with her. Not that it mattered now. One kiss couldn’t change the months of pain they’d put each other through. One kiss didn’t change the fact that she was engaged to the Marquess of Murdock.
And Rhys still didn’t trust her. That much was obvious. They’d kissed each other passionately, but she’d seen the disgust in his eyes when she’d reminded him that she was engaged. And she could feel the judgement in his tone. She knew it. He thought she had pretended to want him because of his title. The thought made her want to scream. Was he such a fool that he couldn’t see how much she truly wanted him? Had always wanted him? She shook her head. That was the trouble. She’dwantedthat horse’s arse.
“Anna?” Mary’s soft voice called from behind her.
Julianna turned, letting the curtain drop closed again and sealing the room in darkness. “I’m sorry, Mary. Did I wake you?”
The flame of a single candle sprang to life on Mary’s bedside table, then Mary stood, carrying the candle to the window.
“What are you doing awake at this hour?” Mary asked when she reached Julianna’s side.
Julianna sighed. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Is it because of Mr. Worthy?” Mary’s sleepy voice asked next.
“What? Why would you ask that?” Julianna’s heart began to pound painfully in her chest.
“I don’t know,” Mary replied, setting the candle upon the windowsill. “It just seemed to me that…never mind, I’m sorry to have mentioned it. Forgive me.”
Forgive her? The poor dear. Mary was more astute than Julianna or their parents ever gave her credit for. She might be the quiet one, the cautious one, but Mary was always watching and paying attention and thinking about other people’s feelings.
“No, Mary, it’s I who should apologize. You’re right.” Julianna hung her head “It actually does have something to do with Mr. Worthy.”
Mary’s brow furrowed. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Anna. But I’m here if you do want to talk about it.”
Julianna reached out and hugged her sister. “Oh, Mary, you’re such a dear.”
“I promise not to repeat anything you say.”
“Of course, you wouldn’t.” Julianna trusted her sister with her life. But there was a secret she’d promised not to tell also, and she took her promise quite seriously, too. She could tell Mary that she’d kissed the groomsman, Mr. Worthy, but she was still not at liberty to reveal Rhys’s true identity.
Julianna turned and rested her shoulder against the window frame. “The truth is…I kissed Mr. Worthy today.”
Mary sucked in her breath, then tentatively leaned forward to watch Julianna’s face. She retrieved the candle and held it higher. “Truly?”
Julianna swallowed and nodded. “Yes. I…I don’t know why. I couldn’t help myself.”
“At the lake?” Mary asked.
“No, not at the lake. Later…in the meadow.”
A small smile popped to Mary’s lips. “I think I know why you did it, Anna,” she said. “He’s ever so handsome.” A frown quickly replaced Mary’s smile. “But Lord Murdock…”
