Julianna paced away from her sister, wrapping her arms tightly around her middle. “I know. I know. I’ve no excuse. I feel terrible. I wish I could go back in time and erase it from having ever happened.”
“Oh, Anna. Don’t judge yourself too harshly.” Her sister came up behind her and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. “You’re only human. Like the vicar says, we all make mistakes.”
Julianna patted her sister’s hand. Mary would never make a mistake like that and they both knew it. Julianna was the impetuous one. But Mary was so kind and forgiving that she would never judge another soul for making a mistake. Even one as large as this one. “Thank you, Mary, but I know it was wrong. It never should have happened.”
“Does Mr. Worthy know that you’re engaged to be married?” Mary asked quietly.
Julianna bit her lip. The truth would paint them both in a worse light, but there was no sense not telling it. She’d already admitted to the worst part. “Yes. He knows,” she said softly, lowering her chin to her chest.
Pulling her hand from Julianna’s shoulder, Mary moved in front of her to face her again. “Oh, Anna, anyone can make a mistake. You’re not actually married yet. That’s what truly matters. And of course, you won’t do something like that again.”
Julianna swallowed. She wanted to say of course not, but instead all she could muster was a half-hearted nod. “Thank you for not hating me.”
Mary gave her another hug. She squeezed her tight. “Oh, Anna, you’re my sister. I love you. I’d never hate you, no matter what you did.”
“Thank you, Mary.”
“It’s all right,” Mary said, nodding. “I hope you’re able to get some rest, Anna.” Mary took the candle and crawled back into bed.
Julianna forced herself to return to her bed as well. She pulled the blankets to her chin and stared up at the dark ceiling. She already knew she would return to the stables on some other pretense tomorrow, just as she knew she had no business doing so and that she would eventually regret it. But she couldn’t help herself. She couldn’t let it be. Rhys thought she was after him for his title? No. She was still after him for revenge. At least that’s what she told herself. She was beginning to have her doubts.
“Anna,” came Mary’s soft voice a few minutes later. “Whatever you’re thinking, I just want to say that I don’t think you should marry someone whom you don’t love, no matter what Mama and Papa say.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Rhys had long ago given up trying to get comfortable on the hay-filled mattress. He’d abandoned it and walked to the end of the long loft above the stables where he stared out at the silver-white full moon.
He might be a drinker and a gambler and generally interested in his own amusements, but it had been a long time since he’d lost control the way he had this afternoon with Julianna.
He pounded his fist against the wooden beam above his head. Damn it. He had absolutely no excuse for what he’d done today, kissing Julianna, touching her. He’d been the veriest rogue.
And she may have stopped their kiss this afternoon, but she certainly had been a willing participant for several minutes before that. Rhys had to wonder if she would be willing to toss Murdock aside if Rhys asked her to. His stomach clenched.
And even if she truly loved him and always had, after what his good friend Kendall had been through, Rhys knew he could never marry a lady who was betrothed to another man. It was wrong. Plain and simple.
And Julianna Montgomery was most definitely engaged.
It was so official it had been in the paper.
If she left Murdock for him, she’d essentially be doing what Lady Emily did, and that was unacceptable. Rhys could never live with that and neither should Julianna.
If she had been acting this afternoon, she’d been convincing, he had to admit. The lust between them had not been faked. He knew that now. He’d seen the truth in her eyes just before he kissed her.
Leaving me? Humiliating me? Those are favors as far as you’re concerned?she’d said. His skin had gone hot then cold when she’d said that. He’d never considered the timing of all it of before. At least, he’d never considered how it all must have seemed toher. He had been gone for nine months. He’d been so preoccupied with his reason for leaving town and the secrecy surrounding it, he hadn’t thought much about the fact that the entire time she’d been expecting an offer. It made sense that she would have been hurt by his leaving. It made sense that she would have been humiliated even. Guilt tugged at him.
But he mustn’t forget about the blasted story in the paper. When it had come out, he’d been incensed. Influenced by Kendall’s past with Lady Emily, Rhys had been convinced that Julianna had only been playacting at wanting him because of his title.
Christ, had Julianna been hurt too, or was she acting now also? He didn’t know anything for certain. He only knew she’d been right about one thing. Hehadbeen hurt. The story in the paper about her choosing the next most eligible bachelor had wounded him far more than he ever wanted to admit.
And he’d been right about something too. He had, in fact, done her a favor by not returning.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The debutantes marched two-by-two through the doors to the stables the next morning. There was a total of six of them, led by Julianna and her sister. They were dressed in a variety of pastel-colored gowns with matching parasols and gloves and delicate slippers.
Rhys watched them file in with a wry smile on his face. It looked like bloody Almack’s in here today. He could only guess at what new torment Julianna intended to subject him to. No doubt spurred on by his rude comment after their kiss yesterday about her remembering she was betrothed to Murdock. Excellent.
“What’s this, ye reckon’?” Mr. Hereford asked, pushing back his hat with his thumb and rubbing his forehead as he watched the giggling group of ladies fluttered into the middle of the stables, pointing and exclaiming at nearly everything they saw.
