He still didn’t know how.
Or even why. A part of it had been just sheer stubbornness. A need to prove himself to his father even after his father was dead. To prove that he wasn’t as worthless as they’d all said. That he could do better. Be better.
And he had.
But did he have it in him to do it all again?
He wasn’t sure. Because he knew exactly what it’d taken to build it before. Back when he was young and stupid. Back when he had the youth and energy for it. When he was blind to just how much it would cost his soul to do what had to be done.
Now...
He was tired. Sickened by what he’d seen. Worn down by the blows and battles.
If you give up, what will become of the Tanises in this world?
Someone else would rise up in his stead. They always did.
Yes, but would they be a protector?
Or a predator?
The eternal question.
And he knew the truth. Others were innately selfish and cruel. Even if they meant well, would another be able to endure the hell he’d traversed for the sake of someone else? How long would it take them before they gave in to the stress and quit?
Or before they were defeated by another?
That was if the eternal conflict didn’t turn them violent. It was hard not to give in to it. Not to have the soul turn as black as his horn.
That façade was the only real question. Power was hard to deal with. Not so much that it corrupted the one wielding it, but the fact that everyone surrounding you wanted a piece of it.
Wanted a piece of your very soul, and they salivated to take it from you.
But would it matter if he failed? It wasn’t all up to him. There was a lot he couldn’t control. If someone cast that spell, they could kill him. He wouldn’t be here to stop anything.
And that was what really scared him.
He pressed his cheek against Tanis’s head.I will protect you. To my dying breath.
Using his powers, he carefully removed himself from beneath her without waking her from her sleep and dressed. He went to the cold stream and bathed before seeking Marthen.
He didn’t go far before a stalk of grass rose up to block his path. That wasn’t the strange part. The fact that the grass had long eyelashes and yellow eyes was the peculiar aspect of it. It blinked at him. “Don’t wake the wizard, King. He doesn’t like that.”
Dash looked about but saw no sign of the wizard’s body. “Is there a way for me to have a word with him while he sleeps?” While that might seem like an odd request to most, it wasn’twhen dealing with Marthen. The wizard’s consciousness often roamed around outside his body while he slumbered.
Swaying in the early morning breeze, the stalk considered his request. “Wisp?”
A tiny will o’ the wisp flew near them at the call. “Yes?”
“Where’s the wizard’s consciousness? Is it on the bank of the creek?”
“Was. Shall I look?”
“Yes. Please.”
The wisp floated away into the darkness.
“If you’ll wait a moment, Majesty. We’ll check and see if he feels up to a consultation.”
