Mara remembered the first time she’d appeared in Duel’s court after he’d brought her home with him.…
“She’s a Deruvian whore! I say we should get some entertainment from the wench for the trouble they’ve put us through! Let us all have a turn at the bitch! We’ve earned it for the blood we’ve lost.”
Duel had ruthlessly gutted the soldier faster than she could blink. Faster than anyone, even said gutted man, could anticipate. Indeed, he’d been in the midst of his next sentence when Duel had struck without warning.
His sword coated with the man’s blood while the poor man had gasped his last breath, Duel had glared at the gathered nobles and warriors inside his dark, somber hall. “Anyone else takes issue with the lady, they take issue with me. You will respect her and speak to her as if she were one of our own. And a queen, no less. Never let me catch anyone near her, for any reason, or else I’ll make you wish your own mother had gutted you the moment she made the mistake of whelping you.”
Mara had assumed those growled words were motivated by the fact she’d bound their lives together and he feared them killing her out of ignorance and spite, and ending his life in the process.
Now …
She winced as she realized how stupid she’d been. How unkind and selfish. But how could she have known he felt anything more than hatred for her, given what she’d done? That his protection of her had stemmed from something far more tender than his own self-preservation?
I’m such a fool.
Belle came up and touched her shoulder. “Let the past go, mum. ’Tis a fleeting shadow that can never be captured.”
“I’m so mad at myself, Lady Belle.”
“I feel that pain that lives in your heart, Mara. Think you there’s not a one here who isn’t a refugee from that monster called Past? On the surface, it appears we bartered our souls for another chance at freedom, but the truth is we’re all hoping to find something we can hold on to that will kill that beast inside us. Something to quell our guilt and conscience. That is what we’re hoping to salvage. Not our souls. Just our sanity.”
She squeezed Belle’s hand. “You’re a good friend. Much better than I deserve.”
“Nay. You never want to know what caused me to be damned, mum. Suffice it to say, I’m grateful the captain approved me pardon when Thorn offered him my service. Not many what would, given my crimes.” She glanced around to the others. “He sees more than you credit him with.”
“How do you mean?”
“Think about it. Thorn gave him the ability to veto any member of this crew for any reason, no questions asked. Makes you wonder what Captain Bane saw in this sorry lot that he thought us worth redeeming, doesn’t it?” She jerked her chin toward the wheel. “And Sancha, you know why she drinks?”
Mara shook her head.
“She left her daughter alone with the man what fathered her, but he didn’t want to be a father. Truth was, back then Sancha didn’t want to be a mother, either. Not until she got home from carousing with friends only to find her daughter dead by the unfeeling hand of the blackguard she’d entrusted with her care. Too late, she realized how much she did love her girl, and that she didn’t really mind the responsibility of motherhood, after all.”
Her eyes filling with tears, Mara gasped at the horror poor Sancha must have faced that night. No wonder she was so harsh now. “What did she do?”
“Without a single word, she calmly picked up his flintlock and shot him where he sat. They say they found her sitting in her daughter’s nursery, holding the babe while still coated in her husband’s blood. Don’t think she’s been sober since. Because whenever she is, she sees her daughter’s face and blames herself solely for what happened. And she can’t bear the guilt of it. It’s why she took on the name Sancha Delarosa—holy lady of sorrow. Her real name was Maria Esmeralda de la Vega y Tarancón. Or more to the point, Donna Maria Esmeralda de la Vega y Tarancón.”
“She was a noblewoman?”
Nodding, Belle pressed her hand against the amulet she never removed from her neck. “And Kalder … he was mixed up in all kinds of evil in his day. Because of who and what he is, he thought himself above all human law.”
“They caught him?”
Belle shook her head. “Those he’d cheated mistook his honest brother for him. Beat the poor lad to death in his stead.”
Wincing, Mara ground her teeth at the sheer misery that must haunt the poor merman. “Did they find him, too, after they took his brother? Is that how he died?”
“Nay. Unlike his brother, he was a brawler, through and through. They’d have never taken him in a fight. Was his own mother what did it, when Kalder came home to pay respects. She said it was only right he join his brother in death, as he was the reason his brother had been on the docks that day. Apparently, Kalder had been wanting to meet with him for some scheme he had planned, and had gotten distracted by a buxom maid. So while his brother lay dying from the beating he should never have had, unable to get help, Kalder was occupied with baser needs.”
Mara felt sick to her stomach. It explained much about the Myrcian. “That’s why he’s been celibate.”
Belle nodded. “Because of the guilt, he’s not wanted to go near another woman. Not until our Miss Jack. So while he might be flirting with one, he never sees the deed through.”
“Now he blames himself for what happened to her.”
“Aye.”
Mara glanced around as a shiver went down her spine. “Why are you telling me all of this?”
