It wasn’t like he even touched me. Much less looked at me when we were in the ‘Kitty Room’ together anyhow. Jade’s little love story with finding Lucas the way she did was one for the books, something that gave girls like Maryanne hope for something more. Girls and women less cynical and jaded than I was, that was for sure. Stories like that were never a reality for girls like me. I was the cautionary tale, and that was it.
“So… does he really have you read to him?” Maryanne asked after looking around to make sure no one else was in the room. As if it was some kind of classified secret.
“To him?” I repeated, unable to hold back the eye roll that followed. “No, babe. I don’t read to him. He reads. On his own.” I made a point to add, “He hardly says two words to me.”
“Really? You just…”
“Sit and read.” I shrugged. I could only imagine the shit she must have heard from the other girls, or hell, Stef and Gretch. “And get paid for it,” I added. Not to gloat but to remind myself that was what the whole weird Twilight Zone I’d somehow found calling my life was.
A business transaction.
It wasn’t me hanging out and reading with a guy who intrigued me with all his quiet brooding because deep inside, he maybe, possibly might be interested. Nope. This was work. Only work.It doesn’t feel like work,that softer voice quipped up bravely.
“Wow,” she sighed, and I could almost make out the little cartoon hearts and stars start to float about above her head, making the whole thing out to be something it was not. In her head, she saw some kind of spudding love story. In mine, I was watching an hourglass run out of sand. When it did, it would mean Jonas would move on to someone new, and I would be right back walking the floor, taking all kinds of strangers into the back for private dances, and my reading time would be cut off.
Sure, that’s why your heart feels sad, that little voice mumbled. I took a deep breath.
“You going to be okay?” I asked her over my shoulder, and she nodded. “Good. I gotta go get to work.” I winked, but it did nothing to take the hope away from Maryanne’s eyes.
“Have fun,” she said kindly. My steps faltered.Have fun.It was such a sweet and simple sentiment. And as much as I hated it, I knew I would be having fun sitting with a man who hardly ever spoke to me.
And damn it, part of me hated that because I knew I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for life to go back to what it had been before Jonas Porter stepped foot into the Velvet Leopard.
