“But he’s different with you,” he said slowly, licking his lips nervously. “Different than he’s been with anyone else. He’s...gentle, he smiles more around you, likereallysmiles. He’s always lookin’ for someone or somethin’ that might be dangerous for ya, and he’s always... Well, I don’t know if I should.”
“If it can help me to help him, please.”
“I don’t know if it will.”
“Anything might help at this point,” I protested, desperate to get something out of Cade before Clay came back to the table. “Please.”
He sighed heavily. “I don’t know, he didn’t talk about her too much, but he has a few times. And I guess, the way he talked about how he was with Gina...he acts like that with you.”
I stared at him, understanding what he was trying to say. It finally started to click into place. “You think he’s...I mean.”
“I dunno,” he admitted, screwing up his face. “Make up your mind, finally?”
“Yeah,” Clay grunted, dropping onto the seat next to me. “You guys looked like you were talking about something real serious.”
“We were trying to decide if you wanted that banana for the taste or the shape,” I said without missing a beat and popping a large piece of chicken into my mouth to conceal any guilt.
God, like his late wife? Was that what Clay’s problem was? Did he think I was trying to be a replacement for her? Or was he afraidhewas turning me into a replacement for her?
Cade snickered. “He said taste, I said shape.”
“It can be both,” Clay said with a smirk, reminding me for that brief flash that even if he wasn’t completely acting like himself, the Clay I had come to know was still in there. “I like your banana for its shape and taste.”
“And people say romance doesn’t exist anymore,” I said with a laugh as Cade wrinkled his nose.
“Y’all ain’t right,” Cade grumbled.
“If we were, we wouldn’t be here,” I pointed out, but didn’t miss the way Clay’s expression darkened at my words before trying to conceal it by shoving the rest of the banana into his mouth. “Keep that up and I might be tempted to skip yoga class.”
Clay stared at me, blinking rapidly before trying to grin, realizing he was going to put mushed banana on display, and covered his mouth to chew and swallow. “You won’t hear me complain.”
“I’m tryin’ to eat here,” Cade muttered.
“Someone’s jealous,” Clay said with a snort as he stood up, grabbing his plate and giving me a look. “Thought I might stop by my room to grab my stuff before I go work out, didn’t you leave your yoga clothes in there?”
“I did,” I said, knowing the offer for what it was. My appetite hadn’t been the best lately, so I wasn’t going to try finishing my food.
“Y’all ain’t slick,” Cade said with a smirk. “Gettin’ your clothes? Yeah, more like gettin’ ’em off.”
“And?” I asked lightly. “Maybe he’s right. Are you jealous? I’m sure we could fit you in.”
Cade looked horrified. “Go away!”
Clay grinned as he walked off, but I didn’t miss the way his shoulders slumped slightly. I glanced at Cade. “I’ll try to talk to him, okay? But I don’t want to push too hard. We just need to be here for him as best we can.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Cade said softly, waving me off. “Go on now.”
I wasn’t surprised that the walk back to Clay’s room was silent, disappointed and bothered, but not surprised. It seemed like he didn’t have anything to add to any conversation, at least not when it counted. Those moments, like minutes ago, when he was a lot more like the Clay I’d come to know, felt more like flashes of his old self surfacing before burying itself deep again. Every other moment, it was like there was a gulf between us that grew with an implacable steadiness that left me feeling helpless because I didn’t know how to make it stop.
We entered his room, and the first thing he did was go to the bathroom. I waited for him to be done, emerging in aninvisible cloud of minty freshness before taking my spot at the sink to brush my teeth as well. I could hear him moving around the room quietly, but I didn’t hear the drawer open. That was another thing; I hadn’t seen him mess with the drawer where his family’s portrait normally sat, and despite initially being willing to talk about them after the night he’d broken down and told me his story, he had barely mentioned Gina or Mikael.
“There,” I said as I emerged with a clean mouth. “I no longer have Nashville breath, now where…oh!”
He must have been waiting for me because he was on me in an instant, making me laugh as his arm wrapped around my waist and picked me up with an ease that had always been exhilarating rather than frightening. I’d never been a fan of being manhandled, though I had obviously quashed my discomfort for the sake of my clients. With Clay, that had never been necessary because from the first moment I’d let him touch me, I knew they were the hands of a man who would sooner throw himself off a cliff into crocodile-infested water than do anything to hurt me intentionally.
“Unhand me, sir!” I cried as he maneuvered us toward the bed. He, of course, did no such thing, and I felt myself hefted up again and dropped onto the bed. Clay was on me before I could complete my second bounce, and I hummed in appreciation as I realized he had stripped to his underwear while I’d been brushing my teeth. “Oh, I see you’ve already got yourself nearly ready, just for me?”
“Just for you,” he chuckled, bending his head to bury it into my throat and kiss the sensitive skin, making me squirm.
