“And?”
“You said you talked to Bryan. He told you what happened?”
“He just said she went through something last fall and is still struggling with it,” Shay tells me.
“It was a plane crash,” I explain. Clearly, Este wasn’t kidding when she said her dads won’t talk about it. Shay gasps. “Engine failure, and it wasn’t until it happened that she realized the captain had had a heart attack. She was onher own. Thankfully, everyone was okay—just minor injuries. Except for the captain. He was already gone.”
“Oh my god,” Shay murmurs. “Poor Este. No wonder she’s struggling. She told you all this?”
“Yeah. I think she needed to talk about it. She has a lot of trouble sleeping. Nightmares.”
“And since you don’t sleep either, you’ve been spending a lot of time together when the rest of the world is sleeping?” Shay guesses.
“Kind of. We’ve… We’ve discovered we both sleep better together. On the couch. Just a few hours, but it’s something.” I don’t think bringing up the fact that we both slept for a full night last night would help my case here.
Shay is quiet for a moment before a heavy sigh sounds down the line. “Look, I really am happy you’re finally connecting with someone. And that you’re both sleeping, but you’ve got to nip this in the bud. You can’t go there, Nico. There’s no way this ends well if you don’t quit while you’re ahead.”
“I know. I hear you. Loud and clear.” She might be telling me what I need to hear, but that doesn’t mean Iwantto hear it. Of course, if her response to all of this had been, “Great idea, Nico! There’s nothing untoward about you sleeping with your best friend—your only friend’s—traumatized daughter!” I would probably have been just as put out by her response. I was never going to be happy with her response.
“I’m sorry,” Shay says, sounding a little gentler. “But hey, this is progress, right? You like spending time with someone. Maybe once the snow clears, you’ll let thismotivate you to meet people.” Unlikely, but she won’t thank me for saying it. “In the meantime…”
I glance back over my shoulder, as if I can see Este’s sleeping form through the curtains, and try to ignore the disappointment coursing through me. “In the meantime, I’ll avoid her. As much as I can.”
11
ESTE
I think Nico’s avoiding me.
Sloane
What did you do?
What you told me to.
WHAT
TELL ME EVERYTHING
Well no, don’t, because you’re my sister and I actually don’t want to know
Why do you think he’s avoiding you?
Because I woke up alone, and he hasn’t come near me all day. He leaves the room anytime I appear.
Huh
Do you think he didn’t like it?
Oh, he liked it.
He just doesn’t like that he liked it.
In an attempt to make things a little easier for Nico to come to terms with, I’m wearing pants. Not that it means much, if he won’t allow himself to be in the same room as me for more than five seconds.
Needing space is understandable. Avoiding me like I’m contagious in such a small space is less so. Still, I respect the space he clearly wants and stay out of his way. It’s not easy. I’m more rested than I have been in months; I should be relaxed. Instead, all I can think about is him.
Is he okay? Is he freaking out? Obviously, he’s freaking out. Is it my fault? Obviously, it’s my fault. I’m the one who seduced him. Though, indirectly, it’s Sloane’s fault, and what are little sisters for if not to blame for our… mistakes?
