Normal.
I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted one thing about this to feel normal.
Dr. Bianchi looks to Elsa. “I’m going to have you change into the gown.”
Elsa nods.
The doctor steps out to give her privacy.
I look at Elsa, at the small line between her brows, the way she’s trying to hide the shake in her hands as she reaches for the folded gown.
“Do you want me to leave, too?” I ask.
She shakes her head immediately. “No.”
I turn a little, not because I have to, but because I want to give her whatever little dignity I can in a moment where she’s having an ultrasound with no privacy and a team of men standing outside the door. I hear the rustle of fabric, the shift of clothes, the paper crinkle as she settles herself onto the table.
When I look back, she’s in the gown, legs tucked, hair falling over one shoulder, eyes too big.
Beautiful.
Terrified.
The doctor returns with a practiced gentleness that tells me she’s seen every kind of fear in this room.
“All right,” she says, rolling the stool closer. “Let’s take a look.”
Elsa reaches for my hand before the doctor even touches the machine. I take it and hold on.
“You said it’s only been a few weeks, so we’re better off doing a transvaginal ultrasound. It’s more precise this early on.”Elsa nods as Dr. Bianchi explains the process, covers the probe, and gels it.
I hear the words, but only in pieces. My whole body has gone tight with anticipation.
Elsa’s eyes are fixed on the ceiling as the doctor slides the probe under the gown.
I’m watching Elsa’s face more than the monitor.
After a couple of minutes, the doctor turns slightly, her gaze sharpening at the screen.
I must freeze or make some movement because Elsa’s fingers clamp down on mine hard enough to hurt. “What?”
Dr. Bianchi leans in closer, studying the image. Then her face softens into a small smile.
“Well,” she says gently, “there’s your answer.”
Elsa’s breath catches. “I am?”
“Yes,” Dr. Bianchi says.
For one second, the room disappears.
Everything in me goes still.
Pregnant.
The word detonates emotion inside me.
I look at Elsa.
