She’d just made one such difficult decision, having to refer a client to another service, when Dean called to let herknow he wouldn’t be able to pick up the kids from school like they’d arranged earlier, so Bel could have a full day working.
‘Sorry,’ Dean added after he’d explained his predicament.
‘Fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it … as usual,’ she muttered.
‘I didn’t plan on driving into a bloody bore drain, Bel,’ he snapped. ‘I could do without having the stuff-around of walking back to the house to get the tractor and pulling it out.’ Bel instantly felt a ripple of guilt. She knew he’d been putting in long hours at his place on top of helping her out with the kids. ‘I know. I’m sorry. I’ve just had a frustrating day.’
‘I hear ya,’ he agreed. ‘Mine’s been pretty shit as well.’
‘I get it,’ she said, trying not to let her irritation show, but fearing she wasn’t succeeding.
‘I’ll try and make it over there after dinner.’
‘No, don’t worry. I think I’ll have an early night. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.’
‘Righto, if that’s what you want,’ he said somewhat stiffly.
They hung up and Bel pushed herself out from the table and grabbed her purse and the car keys. By the time she had the kids safely home from school, she’d lost her earlier irritability with the world. Who could stay cranky with an adorable three-year-old retelling the misadventure of the daycare turtle that had escaped from its enclosure and subsequently recaptured by Miss Judy, who was now Lucy’s idol?
However, by the time Bel had negotiated a peace treaty between the three older kids, who were fighting over whoseturn it was to feed the chooks, confiscated a packet of sugary snacks Lucy had apparentlyfoundand decided to eat before dinner, argued about bathtime and then sat through the ordeal of having all four kids decide they didn’t like the sausages and mashed potatoes she’d laboured to cook them, she was at breaking point again.
When she climbed into bed, feeling like it must be at least midnight, only to discover that it was eight-thirty, she was too exhausted to even feel disheartened.
Her phone vibrated to indicate an incoming call. She glanced at the screen and saw that it was Dean. She turned on her side and ignored it. She simply couldn’t adult another moment longer, today.
‘I tried to call last night,’ Dean said. He was waiting for her at Fernvale when she returned from dropping the kids at school the next morning.
‘I told you I was going to bed early.’
‘I wanted to catch you before you went to sleep. I’m sorry I let you down yesterday, but it really was out of my control.’
‘I know,’ she said wearily. ‘It was just a really crappy day.’
‘Is everything okay? Between us, I mean?’
Bel shut the driver-side door and stepped around him, taking the three bags of groceries from the back seat, which he automatically took from her to carry inside. ‘Yeah. I’m just tired.’
‘And you have every right to be. You’ve taken on a huge job stepping in to be here and taking care of four kids. Which is why I felt so bad having to cancel on you. I promised to help out and I know I haven’t been much help lately, being caught up with my place and everything else going wrong.’
‘I know it wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have snapped yesterday. I just …’ She ran a hand through her hair, absently noting she probably needed to go to the hairdresser at some point for a trim, but who the hell had time? ‘I seriously have no idea how Em does this. It’sexhausting. All the arguing, crying and meltdowns—and that’s just me!’ she said with a weary smile. ‘Kids take it out of you, mentally, physically … emotionally.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s more than a full-time job and she just seems to take it all in her stride. Plus do all the charity work and the farm stuff. I feel like I’m winging everything. What if I’m stuffing these kids up while she’s away? What if I’m doing some actual damage to them?’
‘You’re overthinking it. You’re great with the kids. You’re not going to damage them,’ he said gently, putting the jug on as she slumped at the bench, defeated.
‘I feel like a terrible friend for wishing she’d come home and take over.’
‘I bet there’s days when Emma probably wishes someone else would come and take over for her too. I’ve heard her complaining to Craig about her day and the kids, and how the house has been a disaster zone all week. It’s a tough gig and you are doing great, especially since you were prettymuch thrown in the deep end. Not many people get lumped with four kids all at once,’ he said, placing a coffee in front of her. ‘Why don’t you take tomorrow off and go and spend it in Toormanlee? Go shopping or take your computer to a cafe and work, away from all this? I’ll stay the night and take the kids to school and pick them up.’
‘You can’t take the day off to do that,’ she said wearily.
‘I’ll make it work.’
She was instantly struck by his gesture. It was almost heroic, something that Jax would do, if he were an everyday, average guy. Bel shook her head quickly. ‘I really appreciate the offer, but I’m okay. I snapped yesterday, but I had a decent sleep last night.’ He was just as tired as her, if not more so, with all the pressure he was under to get his crops harvested and the next lot ready to put in. She felt bad about her little dummy spit. She wasn’t special. Everyone was tired.
‘How was your visit with Larkin? How far along is she now?’ Dean asked.
‘Yeah, good,’ she said, taking a sip of her coffee. ‘She’s four months now.’
‘Do they make designer maternity wear for socialites?’ he asked, taking a seat beside her.
