‘Thanks so much for offering to take him while we get the assessment done. I don’t know what I’d have done otherwise.’ She hated to admit how true that was, even to herself. She didn’t have friends she could just ring up and ask to dog sit Merlin, not with Gray and Janey being right at the other end of the UK. Therewere plenty of strangers online, who thought they knew her, who’d probably be only too willing to take Merlin, but no one she trusted. No one other than Tristan and, in truth, she barely knew him either. It was a sad state of affairs if she thought about it too much, so she chose not to.
‘It’s no problem at all, and Casper isn’t the only one who’s looking forward to it. I meant what I said about Merlin being welcome to stay on with us if the operation goes ahead and you need to recuperate.’
‘Thank you, but I think I might need him with me afterwards. I could try and find somewhere to move Woody to, but I was thinking of renting an Airbnb near the hospital until they sign Mum and I off to leave. There’ll be regular visits to the transplant centre initially, after they release us from hospital, so we’ll need to stay somewhere nearby. Linda’s daughter, Iris, has offered us her flat and Mum and Ken will stay there, once Mum is discharged, but I want to have Merlin with me, if it’s going to be a long haul. Although there’s a chance that because we live so far from the transplant centre, they might be able to work in partnership with St Piran’s for some of our aftercare, which means we can come home sooner.’ Briony caught herself, but not before she’d already said the words that Tristan picked up on straight away.
‘So you still think of Port Agnes as home?’
‘I meant that Mum can come home and I can get back on the road, because she’ll need a lot more aftercare than me.’
‘Just don’t push yourself too fast.’ Tristan sounded as if he genuinely cared and she chose to believe he did, because she needed someone other than her parents to care. She wanted them to be able to concentrate on her mother’s recovery, not hers. Briony had chosen not to mention the possibility of the transplant to Gray and Janey either, not wanting them to worry whenthey were so far away, which meant she could use all the support she could get from Tristan. She hated the thought of relying on anyone though, and she was already trying to brush off any trace of vulnerability.
‘I’ll be fine and let’s face it, Bex is not going to want me hanging around for long.’
‘She said you can stay until all this is over, you know that.’ Tristan looked away for a moment, making an elaborate gesture of rotating Merlin’s collar until the tag was sitting at the front.
‘What else did she say?’ He’d relayed some of what had happened after the accident, when he’d been speaking to Matt, and Bex had overheard them, but he’d been evasive about the details, and she knew he was hiding something.
‘She’s just anxious about the boys. She doesn’t want to confuse them.’ Tristan attempted a casual shrug, but it was obvious he still wasn’t being completely honest with her.
‘You mean she doesn’t want me to have anything to do with them.’ Briony could tell by the look on Tristan’s face that she’d hit the nail on the head.
‘I think with everything that’s going on with your mum it’s a bit too much. Just give her time.’
‘Sixteen years hasn’t been long enough.’ Briony swallowed hard. ‘I know what I did was terrible, but the intent wasn’t. I thought I was saving her from making a terrible mistake. No, scratch that,I knowI was saving her from making a terrible mistake.’
‘You don’t have to tell me any of this.’
‘I want to. If you’ve got time to listen? I need to get it off my chest and I need you to know for sure that I’m not all bad.’
‘I told you, I already know that.’ He held eye contact with her for a moment and then nodded slowly. ‘Okay, you can tell mewhatever you want to, but I don’t need to hear it to know it’s more complicated than it might seem.’
‘I think we might need tea for this.’ Briony indicated towards the table and gestured for Tristan to sit down, busying herself making the drinks and trying to work out how best to tell him what she wanted to say.
‘There you go.’ She was moving almost robotically, in an attempt to lessen the pain and avoid worsening her injury, as she set the tea and a plate of biscuits down in front of him. She might be minimising her movements, but that didn’t prevent her from deciding to dive straight in to the story without any preamble. ‘I hated Liam from the start, and I knew he wasn’t good enough for Bex. I could see how like our dad he was and the way he was around other women. I’d heard rumours that he was cheating on her, but she wouldn’t listen to me and I was so scared of how badly he might mess up her life if she went through with marrying him. For years we’d watched Mum struggling, working all the hours she could and parenting us on her own. I didn’t want that for Bex, but she just couldn’t see it.’
Briony paused for a moment and forced herself to look at Tristan, who was watching her intently. There was no sign of judgement or disdain on his face, but she was nowhere near finished yet. ‘He started flirting with me and I felt sickened by it, but I decided to encourage it, to see how far he’d go and I soon realised he was more than willing to go all the way.’
‘Oh God.’ Tristan grimaced and she had to look away before she could continue.
‘Yeah, it was awful, and I kept trying to tell Bex what sort of person he really was, but it was like she was blind to it and it felt as though I was watching a car crash unfold in slow motion. With the wedding just weeks away, I decided the only way I was ever going to make her believe me was to prove to her exactly what hewas capable of. So I did everything I could to make him fall for me, flattered him and told him he was too good for Bex, dressed and acted provocatively around him, even giving him photos that promised what was to come. I dangled a carrot to make him fall for me in a way that would make him willing to risk what he had with Bex, and even to walk away from their future altogether. Time was running out before the wedding, so I had to go a step further and start to get physical, but I never slept with him.’
‘Okay.’ She could hear the doubt in Tristan’s voice and for some reason it was incredibly important to her to try and dispel that. She needed someone to believe her, and she wasn’t sure that her mum or Kenreallydid, even though she’d told them the whole story. She could hardly blame them, because they’d witnessed first-hand the pain her actions had caused Bex, and it must have been very hard for them to get their heads around what she’d done. There’d been things she’d held back from them too, about how alike Liam and her father were, and how she hadn’t wanted Bex to repeat their mother’s mistakes. She’d been worried that hearing that would hurt Donna too much, but she didn’t need to hold back with Tristan.
‘I had to make him want me enough to believe I was worth losing Bex for. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and every time he touched me it made my skin crawl, but I was sure it would be worth it. When Bex caught us kissing, I had to let it play out and give Liam enough rope to hang himself, telling her that he was in love with me and that he wanted to call off the wedding. I couldn’t tell her then and there it had all been an act on my part, because I was terrified he’d find a way to wiggle out of it if I did, or that in the heat of the moment she wouldn’t be able to see there was no other explanation that made any sense.’
Briony steadied her breath for a moment, wishing for the millionth time that things had turned out the way she’d wantedthem to. Then she continued. ‘I had to let Bex believe I wanted to be with Liam, at least for long enough to make sure there was no chance of her forgiving him. I knew how humiliated she’d be about calling off the wedding so close to the day, and I was scared that might make her vulnerable enough to taking him back, if I revealed that this had all just been a honey trap. So I had to wait until there was no possible road back, but by then it was too late and she wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. She cut me out of her life and who could blame her? All I could do was hope that when the dust settled, she’d let me try to explain. After she met Matt, I felt sure she’d eventually soften and realise that what I did saved her from something terrible and allowed her to find something wonderful instead, but her stance has never changed and now I don’t think it ever will.’
‘I don’t think you should give up on it. Maybe once the transplant is over Bex will have the head space to talk about it again. She and Matt were made for each other, and I can’t believe that hasn’t changed her perception of things. I know it would for me if something bad happened, but it led to something amazing, and Bex is a such a good person. I can’t believe she really holds hate in her heart; maybe it’s just a way of protecting herself from getting hurt again after what you went through as kids and what happened with Liam.’
‘Maybe, or maybe I’m the exception to the rule and I’m the one person Bex is capable of truly hating. A lot of people would say I deserved it.’
‘Not if they heard the whole story. I wonder if—’ A knock on the door of the van cut Tristan off, and a voice called out.
‘Hi Briony, it’s Matt.’
‘Matt.’ She exchanged a look with Tristan and he shrugged, seeming every bit as surprised about the identity of the visitor as she was. Jumping up, Briony pulled open the door and Matt gaveher an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry to turn up unannounced, I just wanted to check whether there was anything you needed before you head to London.’
‘That’s so kind of you.’ She was still shell-shocked to see him there, but suddenly remembered her manners. ‘Do you want to come in? Tristan’s here already, drinking tea and eating all my biscuits.’ She’d hoped the light-hearted comment might lift any tension and it worked.
