13
When Bex popped in to see her parents, her mum was upstairs packing for the London trip, and her stepfather opened the door. Ken looked like he was wearing a shirt three sizes too big for him, but it had fitted him like a glove when Bex had bought it for him at Christmas. He’d lost so much weight since Donna had become ill and he seemed to have aged overnight too.
‘Do you want me to drive you to the hospital tomorrow?’ Bex didn’t like the idea of him driving all the way to London, given that she knew he wasn’t sleeping well on top of everything else, and he wasn’t used to the sort of traffic they’d face in London.
‘That’s a lovely offer, but I can’t ask you to take all that time off work or be away from the boys for that long.’ Ken smiled, but his eyes darted left and right in a way that made him look shifty and she knew he wasn’t telling her the whole story.
‘You’re taking Briony with you, aren’t you?’ There was an edge to her tone and, even though she knew it was unfair, she was irrationally angry with her parents for stepping in to help Briony, despite the fact that it was all for Donna’s benefit. The jealousy was back with a vengeance too, probably because Mattand Tristan had been willing to keep her in the dark about Holly really being Briony. They might say it was for Bex’s benefit, but she knew from bitter experience the power Briony had to wind people around her little finger, and she suspected they were trying to protect her too, which made Bex feel undermined by the people she loved. It was even more irrational to hate the fact that Briony was the one whose liver could save their mother’s life. Everyone would tell her how incredible she was and no doubt she’d post all about it on her social media accounts, but that would be such a tiny part of the story of who Briony really was and Bex wanted to follow her around waving a placard that spelled out the truth, and plaster it all over social media too.
Briony Deyes – aka Holly Day – slept with her sister’s fiancé three weeks before their wedding.
See how much of a superhero people thought she was then. Bex wouldn’t do it because it would upset her mother and they had to keep things as calm as possible for Donna. But Briony had turned up at the farm under false pretences and had drawn Tristan and Matt into the lie. In any other circumstances, Bex would have followed through on her threat to chuck her off the land, not least because the thought of her even talking to the boys was terrifying. Briony was trouble and she’d already proved that nothing had changed. Logically, Bex knew she should be pleased that her parents were taking Briony to London, because at least that way she’d be gone, but right now logic didn’t seem to be her friend.
‘I can hardly ask Briony to make her own way there, can I? It wouldn’t be practical to drive the van through London, even if she wasn’t wearing that boot support on her leg, and the last thing I want to do is give your mum any excuse to change her mind. I know this has been hard for you, my love, but we’ve just got to getthrough it.’ Ken put an arm around her waist, and Bex allowed her head to rest against his shoulder for a moment.
‘And then things will go back to normal?’ Even as Bex said the words, she knew that was probably never going to happen. Briony had come back to Cornwall and broken the unwritten agreement to stay out of Bex’s world. However grudging it might be for Bex to admit, Briony was also saving their mother’s life, and she could hardly expect them to keep Briony at arm’s length if she decided she wanted to spend more time in Cornwall, or, God forbid, even move back there. Bex shuddered at the thought and Ken must have felt it as she leant against him, but he didn’t give her the answer she wanted him to.
‘I really hope so, at least in terms of your mother’s health, but I can’t help hoping that something good will come from this and that maybe you and Briony really could make a fresh start.’
‘No way.’ She pulled away from him like she’d been burned. Ken had done so much for her over the years, and had never asked for anything in return. She’d been certain she’d be willing to do anything to pay him back. Anything but this.
‘I know what she did must have seemed like the worst betrayal possible at the time, but look at everything it’s given you.’ Ken was such a reasonable man, and he was staring at her beseechingly, like a puppy dog waiting to be shown some love, but she was going to have to disappoint him.
‘I’m grateful for what it gave me and because of that I’m glad it happened, but that doesn’t mean I have to forgive the person who did it. She was my sister and I would have trusted her with my life, but it turned out I couldn’t even trust her with my fiancé.’
‘I know how close you two used to be, and Liam isn’t worth losing your sister over.’
‘I stopped having a sister sixteen years ago, but that was Briony’s choice, not mine.’ Her scalp was beginning to tighten.She hated having to justify a decision that any reasonable person would agree with, especially when Ken had witnessed what the betrayal had done to her. Either way, she wasn’t going to have this conversation again, because she didn’t want to lose her temper with Ken the day before he took her mum to London. It was time to change the subject. ‘How’s Mum feeling about it all do you think?’
‘Much more nervous than she’s letting on, but you know what she’s like.’ Ken let go of a long breath. ‘She told me she wants to write letters to the three of us, and the boys, in case anything happens and that she doesn’t want to leave anything unsaid. Doesn’t the idea of leaving stuff unsaid bother you? How would you feel if something happened to Briony and you’d missed the chance to make things up with her?’ Ken clearly hadn’t fallen for the change of subject as easily as she’d hoped he would.
‘I’d be fine with it.’ She pulled a face that made it look as though she had a horrible smell under her nose and shrugged as casually as she could muster. She wanted to make Ken believe she’d be okay with it, and more than that she wanted to believe it herself, but there was a sense of unease in the pit of her stomach that wouldn’t seem to go away. Could she really let Briony go into that operation with so much unresolved stuff and bad feeling between them? Would she be able to forgive herself if somethingdidhappen, especially when she’d been forced to acknowledge that there was a stubborn seam of love still in there somewhere, even if she didn’t want there to be? She wasn’t sure, but Briony had managed to forgive herself for far worse, so maybe that’s what she should talk to her sister about instead.
‘What about your mum? I think the only reason she’s agreed to go ahead with any of this is because she thinks it will allow the two of you to reconcile.’
‘I know and I can fake it until we get to the other side of all ofthis, but once I know Mum’s okay, that’ll be it. I don’t want Briony to be a part of my life and I definitely don’t want her to be a part of my children’s lives.’ Bex didn’t miss the look of disappointment that crossed Ken’s face, but if he was disappointed in her she was just going to have to live with it. For years she hadn’t wanted to risk letting Briony hurt her again, but now she knew shecouldn’trisk her hurting the boys. It was the one thing she was sure would always override the moments when she wavered, despite finally admitting to herself that she did still miss the sisterly bond they’d once shared. Although Ken seemed determined to remind her that this wasn’t just about turning her back on that, it was also about the relationship between a mother and her daughters.
‘It’s going to be really painful for your mum when she realises that’s not going to happen. I know it’s what she wants most in the world.’ He sighed then, in a way that captured just how deep his disappointment was. ‘But only you and Briony have got the power to bring that about and nothing I say can change that. All I can do is keep hoping that something happens to change your mind, but if you have to just fake it for your mum’s sake then I guess I can live with that, because the one thing I can’t do is live without her.’ Ken dropped his head back, taking deep breaths until he regained control of his emotions.
‘It’s going to be okay. I promise.’ It was Bex’s turn to wrap her arms around him and she offered up a silent prayer that it would be, because Ken wasn’t the only one who couldn’t imagine a life without Donna. She was an amazing woman and if Bex could be half the mother she was, she’d feel incredibly proud of herself. She’d known, long before Ken said it out loud, that if her mother had one wish it would be for her daughters to be reunited, but she couldn’t grant that wish, not even for Donna. The scars ran far too deep and, from what she’d seen, Briony didn’t seem tohave changed at all. She was still far too willing to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. Now Bex was going to have to do that too. Make believe was the best she could offer her mum and she was going to put on a hell of a show. She had no doubt it was for Donna’s benefit, because she desperately needed the transplant, but that didn’t stop Bex feeling guilty. She knew her mum would forgive her though, no matter how sad and disappointed she might be. After all, she’d already forgiven Briony for so much more. Unlike the secrets and lies her so-called sister had weaved back then, nothing bad could possibly come of the lies Bex was telling now. She was certain of it.
Briony grimaced as she swallowed the effervescent painkillers she’d just dissolved in the water. They tasted bitter but they’d definitely taken the edge off the pain. She’d always struggled with swallowing tablets, and it had been a running joke in the family. It had all started when she’d been seven and had a headache on one of the rare occasions their father had taken them for a sleepover, in the house of a woman who was a complete stranger to them. Their father had been passed out drunk on the sofa, and his girlfriend had shouted at Briony for crying. Being completely unprepared to have his children overnight, the woman had tried to force an ordinary adult paracetamol tablet down Briony’s throat without even breaking it in half. She been terrified she was going to choke and had thrown up everywhere, earning her a barrage of verbal abuse from their father’s girlfriend, who was also drunk, which might well have turned physical if Bex hadn’t stepped between her and Briony, promising to clear everything up. It had been her big sister who’d stepped in again when Brionywas about twelve and needed to take some antibiotics to clear up an infection that had been causing her a lot of pain.
‘You’ll still be taking Calpol when you’re thirty if you don’t get over this, sweetheart.’ Her mother’s tone had been gentle, but she’d sounded exhausted too. It was clear she didn’t have time to deal with the fuss Briony had been making about the prospect of taking the antibiotics. Donna had been rushing out to her second job, cleaning at a solicitor’s office in Port Tremellien and had been forced to delegate the task of getting Briony to swallow her tablets to Bex. ‘Make sure she takes her antibiotics won’t you, my love? Otherwise, she’s going to be up all night again with that ear infection and none of us will get any sleep.’
‘Of course I will, Mum, don’t worry.’ Bex had made the promise and their mother had known she’d do whatever it took to fulfil it. She’d always been able to count on her older daughter and so had Briony. Bex had been a brilliant sister, who was like a second mum to her when she needed one.
‘I don’t think I can do it.’ Briony had grimaced and begun to gag at just the prospect of swallowing what to her looked like a tablet intended for a horse rather than a human.
‘Of course you can. You can do anything you put your mind to, but there’s no hurry. We’ll get there.’ Bex had been as good as her word, patiently encouraging Briony and talking her through the process. She’d told her to relax and visualise herself swallowing the pill, getting her to place it on her tongue and breathe slowly before using a straw to draw some water in. There were a couple of failed attempts where both the water and the tablet were expelled with considerable force. The second one leaving water dripping down Bex’s face, but she never lost her temper or her patience. When Briony finally managed to swallow the tablet, Bex had high fived her as if she’d done something amazing likewinning an award. After that, Briony had managed to take the remaining course of antibiotics without anywhere near as much fuss.
Over the years, she’d learned to swallow tablets when she had to, always using the method Bex had taught her. That was until everything happened with Liam. After that her throat had just seemed to close up every time she tried to swallow a tablet, and no matter how many times she tried to follow the advice Bex had given her back when she’d been twelve, she just couldn’t swallow any medication. It was why she’d had to ask the doctor to prescribe effervescent painkillers for her ankle injury and, if he hadn’t, she might really have been forced to resort to Calpol, just as her mother had predicted.
The knock on the van door as she set the glass back down on the table made her jump, despite the fact she was expecting it.
‘Come in,’ she called out and a second later Tristan opened the door, nearly getting knocked off his feet by Casper, who shot into the van ahead of him.
‘Sorry about my dog, he’s got absolutely no manners.’ He grinned and Briony tried to ignore the effect his smile had on her. He’d just been kind to her that was all, at a time when she felt extremely vulnerable; a state she didn’t feel comfortable being in around anyone, even her parents. There couldn’t be anything else between them, even if she wanted there to be, because he was part of Bex’s new family and that’s where his loyalties lay. ‘Casper just can’t wait for Merlin to come and stay with us.’
