‘No!’ Ken’s response was resolute, cutting her off before she could finish. ‘The doctors have said there’s a good chance of a complete cure if she has a liver transplant, but it needs to happen before any more tumours grow.’
‘And have they found her a liver?’ She held her breath waitingfor him to answer. She knew people died waiting for organ transplants, but she couldn’t even begin to contemplate the idea of her mother being one of them.
‘She can have one from a living donor, because the liver is capable of regenerating, so they just take a part of the donor’s liver and then both parts regenerate.’
‘I’ll do it.’
‘Oh, sweetheart, I knew you’d say that.’ The relief in Ken’s voice was evident. ‘But your sister’s already offered and your mum has absolutely refused to do it. Bex emailed you to explain but she thought the message wasn’t getting through. I went through your mum’s phone looking for your number, but she must have hidden it somehow. I thought as my emails had always got through to you in the past that it would work okay if I emailed you instead and asked you to call me. I just don’t know how we’re going to be able to persuade your mum, but maybe if you and Bex work together on this…’
‘I’ll do whatever it takes, but it should be me who donates part of my liver to Mum. Bex has got the boys to think about.’ She couldn’t stop her voice from shaking, barely able to process the possible implications of her sister emailing her. What had she said? How had she started off an email that had broken a silence of over sixteen years? Briony couldn’t even allow herself to consider whether or not it meant the door was finally open for them to talk. She couldn’t allow her hopes to be built up in that way, because the chances were that reality would dash them. As far as Briony knew, Bex hadn’t once wavered in her decision that their relationship was finished and that, as far as she was concerned, she no longer had a sister. There’d been so many times when Briony had wanted to turn back the clock and undo what she’d done, but that wasn’t possible. There’d never been so much as a twig, let alone a whole olive branchoffered in her direction. So, no, she wouldn’t allow herself to hope for a miracle, but maybe, just maybe she and Bex could finally have a calm conversation, where Briony attempted to explain herself, even if it did nothing to change her sister’s mind.
‘I’m just terrified that nothing we say can persuade her, Briony, and I can’t lose her. I wouldn’t be able to survive.’
‘I know, but I promise it won’t come to that.’ She nodded despite the fact that he couldn’t see her, more determined than she’d been about anything else in her life to deliver on that promise. The world might know her as Holly Day, but in her heart she’d always been Briony Deyes and she loved the family she’d been forced to leave behind with all her heart. Bex might never be able to forgive her for what she’d done, but they had to put their differences aside to save their mother and, despite not seeing her sister for the past sixteen years, she knew this was the one thing they’d always be able to agree upon.
Bex had spent most of the night before unable to sleep; her mind wouldn’t stop racing, trying to work out how best to approach the situation, and insist that her mother either backed down and allowed her to donate part of her liver, or gave her Briony’s number so that, for once in her life, her sister could step up and do the right thing. Matt had reached over to her side of the bed and pulled her close to his chest.
‘Can’t you sleep?’
‘No. I can’t stop thinking about how to handle things with Mum. I can’t risk her just shutting me down. This might be our only chance.’
‘It’ll be okay.’ Matt stroked her hair. ‘Just tell her how muchyou need her and how much the boys do too. She’ll have to see sense then and let you contact Briony.’
‘Or let me donate part of my liver.’ Bex had spoken the words into the silence, but he didn’t respond. ‘You are okay with me doing that, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah.’ The word was long and drawn out, and not in the least bit convincing.
‘But?’
‘But I’d much rather Briony did it and I understand why Donna is concerned about you having an op like that, with the boys to consider.’
‘I can’t ask someone to do what I wouldn’t be prepared to do myself. Least of all Briony.’ The thought had sat uncomfortably with her from the start, and she hated herself for it. It shouldn’t matter which of them donated a part of their liver to save their mum, but she hated the idea of it being Briony, acting like some kind of hero when she’d been the one to decimate the family and cause their mother so much stress. And who knows, all of that might have been one of the root causes of her mother’s illness in the first place. Stress was supposed to be a contributor to cancer and God knows Briony had caused them all enough of that over the years.
‘I just couldn’t carry on without you.’ Matt cupped the side of her face with his hand. ‘You and the boys are everything to me. I can’t believe how bloody lucky I am and I don’t want anything to jeopardise that.’
‘Me neither.’ She turned her face slightly and kissed his hand. ‘We really are lucky, aren’t we?’
‘Incredibly lucky and that’s why I know all this stuff with your mum is going work out okay one way or the other, but you need to try and get some sleep. I could always tell you one of my stories?’
She could hear the grin in his voice, even though she couldn’t see his face in the darkness. It was one of the long-running jokes in their marriage that Matt would come up with the most boring and convoluted stories possible to try and combat the insomnia that had plagued Bex on and off for their entire relationship. The stories often involved the intricacies of farm equipment or the benefits of crop rotation, anything he thought might help her finally drift off to sleep. What he didn’t know was that it was the sound of his voice that could help regulate her, calm and steady in the dead of night. Matt was a good man, and she really was incredibly lucky to have found him.
By the time Bex arrived at her parents’ house the next day she felt as if she knew how to approach the conversation. She wasn’t going to go in all guns blazing and demand that her mum reconsider, but she was still prepared to use emotional blackmail if she had to. It went against the grain for Bex, because there was nothing she hated more than manipulative behaviour, but this was a matter of life and death, and all bets were off.
She was going to follow Matt’s advice and remind her mum how much she, Ken and the boys needed her, but she was also going to ask Donna what she thought it would do to them all, knowing she could have accepted treatment that would almost certainly save her, but she’d chosen to turn it down. If that didn’t work, she was going to play her trump card and ask her mum if she really wanted to throw away the best chance she was ever going to get of seeing her daughters reconciled. Her mother might have doubted Bex’s intentions when she’d first mentioned the prospect of patching things up with Briony, but Donna would have to be absolutely certain it was a lie in order to walk away from the possibility. There had never been a better reason for the two of them to put their differences aside than there was now, but if their mother died, there’d be no common ground left and noreason for them ever to be a part of one another’s lives again. It really was horribly manipulative, but Bex didn’t care – there was too much at stake.
‘Hey, Mum.’ She planted a kiss on her mother’s cheek, after letting herself into the house, trying not to gasp at the change in her mother’s appearance. She was losing weight, and the yellow tinge to her skin tone and the whites of her eyes was undeniable now too.
‘Hello, my love, it’s good to see you.’ Donna had always had suchjoie de vivreand incredible amounts of energy, despite the rheumatoid arthritis, but even her voice sounded old and worn out now, so different to just a few weeks before. It was as if her mum was disappearing before Bex’s eyes and she couldn’t bear it.
‘Where’s Ken?’
‘Outside in the garden talking to someone about a bike he wants to buy for Tom. At least I think that’s what he said. You know what the mobile phone signal is like up here and how useless Ken is with the phone at the best of times. He’ll be lucky if he doesn’t accidentally cut the other person off all together!’ Donna started laughing, but looking at the sunken hollows of her mother’s cheeks, Bex just wanted to cry. Couldn’t her mum see that Ken would never cope without her, mostly because he wouldn’t want to? They were devoted to one another and they’d both experienced bad marriages before they met. How could her mum want to give up a single day of the time they could have together?
‘Hello, sweetheart.’ Ken’s voice made her jump and, when she turned to look at him, she couldn’t read the expression on his face. He certainly didn’t look the way she’d expected him to, or the way she felt; terrified and broken. ‘Can you come and have a look at the coffee machine for me. It won’t seem to work when I put the pods in.’
‘It probably just needs a cleaning pod. I can do it.’ Donna moved to stand up, but there was a flash of something in Ken’s eyes as he shot a look at Bex, an urgency that made her realise there was more to his request than just help with the coffee machine. He wanted a chance to talk to her alone.
‘No. You sit there, Mum. I’ll do it, and I’ll show Ken, so he knows for next time.’ Bex was already moving towards the kitchen with her stepfather, and seconds later he closed the door quietly behind them, dropping his voice to barely more than a whisper.
