‘Butty?’ Holly raised her eyebrows questioningly.
‘Yes, because she’ll headbutt you repeatedly in the leg if you’retoo slow with the milk bottle, or if you dare to let it run out. And trust me, she’s channelling the energy of a full-grown ram when she does it.’
‘A strong independent woman then.’ Holly laughed.
‘They’re the best kind.’ Tristan locked eyes with her and yet again she found herself wishing that things were different. If this was somewhere else, or he were someone else, she would have acted on the undeniable attraction between them, because she hadn’t felt anything even remotely close to this for a very long time. Except nothing could happen between them, because it would make leaving Port Agnes even harder than it already was and she was never coming back. She couldn’t put herself through this again.
‘Uncle Triss!’ The excited voice belonged to Tom, who came bounding into the barn with every bit as much energy as the lambs who’d been leaping around the fields.
‘Well, if it isn’t Master Thomas White, the best shepherd in Cornwall.’ Tristan turned slightly towards her. ‘You remember my friend.’
‘Err duh.’ Tom pulled a face. ‘Course I do. She’s got a cool name. Holly Day. She knows how to make sand angels and she bought me the biggest brownieever. She’s much nicer than any of your other friends and I reckon she should be your girlfriend.’
Tristan roared with laughter and Holly couldn’t help joining in. It was quite disconcerting to have such an honest character assessment, as though she hadn’t been standing there too, but it was pretty complimentary, so she couldn’t really complain, and thankfully Tristan didn’t seem to mind either. ‘The wisdom of nine-year-olds, eh? And what makes you think I want a girlfriend, Tom?’
‘I dunno, but Mum and Dad keep saying it’s about time you got one.’
‘Do they now?’ Tristan was still laughing.
‘Yeah. Wow, look how wide Butty’s bum is! It must be ’cos she pushes Lola out of the way all the time to try and take her bottle too.’ The subject of girlfriends was clearly closed as far as Tom was concerned and he moved closer to the lambs. ‘She looks like she’s twerking when she’s drinking her milk, her bum wobbles up and down so much.’
‘And what exactly do you know about twerking, young man?’ Tristan was clearly trying not to laugh again, as Tom shrugged.
‘Mum tried to do it on New Year’s Eve when she’d had a lot of wine, but she fell over and got a massive purple bruise on her bum instead. She had to sit on a cushion for ages.’
‘How did I not know that?’ Tristan was laughing again now, but Holly was torn between laughter and tears. There was so much she didn’t know about her sister and suddenly she wanted the chance to know at least one more thing, however innocuous. She wanted to know what her sister was doing right now, at their parents’ house, what they were talking about and what they were having for dinner. The details were so inconsequential, but she’d have given anything for that tiny insight into her sister’s life before she left Port Agnes again.
‘Can I feed the lambs, Uncle Triss?’ Tom had an earnest expression on his face.
‘Holly was about to feed Lola, but you can feed Butty if you don’t mind getting nudged.’
‘Let Tom feed Lola.’ Holly made a show of looking at her phone. ‘I’ve just got a message from my stepdad asking me to call him urgently and it’s not something he normally says. So I’m just going to go outside and phone him and then I’ll be back. If the lambs haven’t already finished, maybe I can help give them the last little bit.’
‘No problem.’ Despite his words, Tristan furrowed his brow. ‘I hope everything’s okay.’
‘I’m sure it will be, but I just want to make sure.’ Without hesitating again, Holly headed outside, not really expecting to be able to get a phone signal. But thankfully the barn was situated on one of the highest points on the farm and there were a couple of bars of service. Before she had a chance to think about it again, she called the number in Ken’s email.
‘Hello.’ Ken’s voice was steady.
‘Hi Ken. It’s Briony.’ It felt almost alien to use her real name, although she’d never been anything but Briony to her mum and stepdad. Yet even with them, she’d sometimes stumbled over saying Briony, because she’d fought so hard to bury the version of herself who had set off a bomb in the heart of their family. She’d never introduced herself to anyone as Briony from the day she’d left Cornwall, and her parents were the only people from back then who she kept in touch with. Today there was no stumbling over the name though. She needed Ken to remember that she was his stepdaughter and that he loved her despite the rift she’d caused, because she needed him to know he could be honest with her. Whatever her parents’ reasons for lying to her about the cruise, she could handle them, as long as there was no more deceit. She couldn’t stand being lied to, or having someone sneak around behind her back. Regardless of what anyone else might think, she could handle the truth. It was the lies she couldn’t take. She had to believe that Ken wouldn’t lie to her again, especially if she asked him outright, but when he responded to her greeting, she suddenly wasn’t sure of anything at all any more.
‘Yes, thanks for calling back. I’m interested in the bike you’re advertising, but it’s for my nine-year-old grandson and I just wanted to check a few details.’
She had no idea what he was talking about, but he can’t haveheard her properly. That was the only explanation for why he was being so weird. ‘Ken, I said it’s Briony.’
This time she raised her voice to emphasise her name, but his response still didn’t make any sense. ‘Yes, that’s right. I’m really sorry but this is a terrible connection, so I’m just going to step outside. We’re in a bit of a dodgy area for phone signals and sometimes it’s better in the garden.’
What an earth was going on? A sudden worry gripped her that maybe this was the start of something terrifying like dementia, but could it come on that suddenly without any warning signs?
‘What are you talking about, Ken? You’re starting to scare me.’
‘Sorry.’ When he spoke again, he sounded breathless. ‘Your mum was standing right next to me, and I had to get outside before I could say anything. If she finds out I’ve spoken to you about any of this she’ll never forgive me. She doesn’t want you to have the worry of what’s going on and it’s why she told you we were going on a cruise.’
‘Now you’re really scaring me.’ Heat was rising up Holly’s neck. Ken had never been one for hyperbole or any kind of drama, but he sounded strained and panicked.
‘I’m sorry, love, and I really wish I didn’t have to break it to you like this. In fact, I wish I didn’t have to break it to you at all, but your mum has got liver cancer.’
‘Oh my God.’ The ground seemed to shift between her feet and for a moment she thought she might actually fall over. ‘Is she… is she going to?—’
