Sammy and Hannah hug her as well, then Mebel kisses the twins, making a huge fuss over them. And the entire time, she is achingly aware of Henk standing to one side, hands in his pockets, looking awkwardly at her. When she is done greeting her family, she catches Henk’s eye, and a pregnant silence descends on all of them before she says, “I can’t believe you are all here! What—why? How?”
“We all missed you very much, Ma,” Sammy says. “It’s not the same without you there.”
“Yes,” Henk agrees quietly.
A lump forms in Mebel’s throat, and she blinks rapidly. “Okay, well, where are you staying?”
“At the Old Bank Hotel,” Sammy says. “Shall we go up to your room so we can all have a chat?”
The thought of all seven of them crowding into her tinydorm room makes Mebel bark with laughter. They look at her, probably taken aback by her unladylike reaction.
“Sorry, it’s just that my room is so small that we won’t all fit in there.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Sammy says.
“No, really,” Mebel says. She wonders if her son has always been this cocky. “Let’s go to a restaurant or your room at the Old Bank Hotel, and we can talk there.” She heads for the front door, but Henk calls out.
“Mebel, did you not want to change?” he says.
Mebel looks down at her outfit. She’d thrown on her most casual clothes this morning—sweatpants and a sweater—because she was going to the Cotswolds and did not want to stand out by wearing designer clothes, and she’d worn her sneakers because she’d been expecting a long walk hunting down Gemma’s house. It’s something she never would have considered wearing back home in Jakarta, and certainly not something she would’ve worn out of the house. To make matters worse, she recalls with a flush of shame that she’s just come back from a session of enthusiastic sex with Alain, and her hair must be a complete mess. She hadn’t bothered to wash it at his place. Her makeup, too, is mostly undone.
Embarrassment crawls down her spine as she takes in the way her family is looking at her. A mixture of uncertainty and pity on their faces, as though they’re all wondering how she could’ve fallen so far. She wonders, with increasing horror, if they can sense the sex on her, and she feels inexplicably guilty at the thought of what she was just doing less than an hour ago.My god, she thinks,if they ever find out…
“You know what?” she chirps manically. “You’re right, I do need to change. I was just out walking for exercise, but I am going to change into something more appropriate right away. Give me ten minutes. Be right back!” She doesn’t give them a chance to respond before hurrying up the stairs and into her room, where she double-locks the door behind her. She leans against the door, breathing hard, and catches her reflection in the mirror. “Well,” she mutters, “shit.”
Chapter 17
The Old Bank Hotel isone of the nicer hotels in Oxford, a place where Mebel feels instantly at home. She feels more like herself as well, now that she has dressed herself in a Hermès silk dress and YSL shoes. She spent more time working on her makeup, and though her hair remains stubbornly flat since she chose not to spend two hours blowing and primping it into the usual puffy hairdo, she feels appropriately glamorous.
The hotel offers a fancy English teatime every weekend afternoon, so they opt for that. The sandwiches and petit fours are served on tiered trays, which delights Luciana, and for the first few minutes, the conversation is minimal as they focus on the aesthetic food placed before them.
“So, whose decision was it to come all the way here?” Mebel says as she works her way through a cucumber sandwich.
“Mine,” Hannah says at the same time as Sammy. They look at each other.
“Actually, it was Pa’s idea, remember?” Sammy says.
Hannah shrugs and bounces Freydis on her knee. Or maybe it’s Aegilfu. After such a long time away from the twins, Mebel finds it even harder to tell them apart.
“It was your idea?” Mebel says, turning to Henk.
He clears his throat, looking embarrassed.
“Pa misses you, Ma,” Sammy says. “Right, Pa?”
Henk straightens his suit and tugs on his shirt collar. “Well, I was talking to Sammy and I said, ‘I wonder how your mother is doing.’ And then—”
“I suggested coming here and seeing for ourselves,” Hannah says.
“Right,” Henk says.
“And how is Wendy?” The words are out before Mebel can stop herself. The moment they are, she feels such a virulent wave of anger toward herself that she almost pinches her own leg. Why had she said that? They’re having a perfectly nice time, and now she’s gone and ruined it all.
Henk blanches.
“Aduh, Ma,” Sammy says, “does it matter? She’s not in our lives anymore.”
“She’s not?” Mebel says.
