“Jack está triste,” Leticia repeated.
When Milly opened Jack’s door he was whimpering and Debbie was curled up in his bed next to him. “What happened, my loves?” she asked, sitting on the side of his bed, brushing his hair off his damp, red face. “Did Daddy come to visit?” Jack took a deep breath, but it came out shaky, as if he were trying not to cry. “Oh, Jack, love.”
“I want Daddy,” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to keep them in.
Milly picked him up from his bed and wrapped his arms and legs around her, holding him tight. “I know, sweetheart, I know you do.” Then she pulled Debbie in too.
“What did he…?” She didn’t want to interrogate the children but she needed to know what he knew, if he’d seen her leave the house with Wes, if, God forbid, he’d followed her to the marina. “Did he have to get back to work?”
“He said he was waiting for you, but then it got late and he said he had to return to the studio,” Debbie said, surprisingly calm. “I asked when he’ll be coming home again, and he said he doesn’t know.” Jack, still squeezing Milly tightly, took several more staggered breaths. “Why can’t he stay?” he asked.
How could she respond? “Well, I’m not sure exactly, but he must have a very important assignment, because I know he would much rather be with you right now than doing whatever silly work he has to do.”
Jack rested his head on his mother’s shoulder, and she rocked him the way she had as a baby. She felt him trying to catch his breath, and then she felt it get easier, peaceful, and she slowed to a sway.
Once the crying stopped and his breathing calmed, Milly lay Jack down and smoothed his cheek until he fell asleep. She tucked Debbie into her own bed and read a few chapters of one of her Polly and the Wolf books until she too began to give in to sleep. She kissed her forehead and went downstairs to see Leticia off.
Finally, alone in the living room, she felt wretched. Everything she’d told herself as she walked home from the boat, everything she relived now—giving in to Wes, all of it—suddenly made her spin. How could she be so selfish, putting her needs and desires before her children’s? She had one job, and that was to protect them. They needed their father, and they needed their mother to love their father, to fight for him, to do whatever it took to bring him home, not to be off in theguest cottage or on a secret boat making love with another man. She felt dizzy with the realization, disgusted with herself for indulging in a salacious affair while her son was left at home, crying to the nanny. Milly put her hand to her mouth, horrified at her actions.I have to get him back, she told herself.I have to bring Lloyd home for good.
