My jaw tics. She’s been bred to coerce and manipulate, and she fucking enjoys it. “I don’t know how I ever saw you as a victim. You really are a heartless bitch,” I say, my trigger finger tensing.
“I’m a survivor. One who knows the game better than you.”
“You think so?”
“Consider today tough love, Duke.”
“Oh, I’ve learned my lesson,” I say as my blood runs cold. “I’m a puppet with two puppet masters. If I make a wrong move, my family receives the punishment. You want me to believe the only way to protect them is to let you pull my strings.”
“It’s not a matter of belief. It’s a matter of fact,” she insists. “The only way we can guarantee Fitz’s safety is to play along until the day we’re meant to bind our two families together.”
Katarina’s words wash over me and an eerie calm descends. There is another way.
“My uncle agreed to return your brother in time for the wedding,” Katarina continues, oblivious to the puppet strings I’m slicing through in my mind. Snip. Snip. One by one. “He’s a man of his word and as long as you don’t give him reason to doubtyourword, he’ll keep to that promise.”
I feel at peace as I focus on that one remaining thread. The one binding me to the pain and suffering I feel as well as the pain I’ve caused. I’m ready.
“And what about your word,kitten?” I ask, more fromcuriosity than concern. “You haven’t exactly been cooperating with the Griffins. Why should I believe you’ll disappear before we exchange vows? We could have ended this weeks ago by bringing the wedding forward, along with Fitz’s release.”
“I’ve told you before. I have my reasons.”
“And I’m starting to think those reasons are to marry me and stay married. That’s why you’re so upset that I’m showing an interest in another woman.” If I wasn’t so numb, I’d be raging with anger.
“Jesus, you do have a high opinion of yourself,” Katarina says, laughing despite the gun scraping against her ribcage. “If I have to call you husband, shoot me now.”
It’s my turn to laugh, but my laugh is hollow. “Oh, kitten, I’m tempted.”
It takes just a second to wipe the smile from Katarina’s face as I remove the gun from her side and take a step back. “Duke, what are you doing?” she asks, wide-eyed as I point the weapon at my head.
It’s the first time I’ve seen anything close to an unguarded reaction from Katarina, and it’s strangely satisfying. There is a human beneath the mask, even if her dismay is fueled by self-preservation.
“I can’t trust that you or Vasili will keep any of your promises. Honor means nothing to people without conscience,” I say as the gun barrel kisses my temple. “As I see it, I’m the reason the people I care about are at risk. Remove me from the equation, and what do you have? Fuck. All.”
Katarina cocks her head, scrutinizing my features for the slightest hint that this is some bluff. She blinks a couple of times as she tugs the edges of her silk robe together. “You’re serious.” It’s not a question.
My grip on the trigger is firm and steady. “Katarina, ending it now would be a blessed relief.”
At first, I assume it’s a trick of the light, but Katarina’s eyes have gone glassy. “You can’t do this… Please, Duke. Think… Think about your family.”
“I am.”
Only today, my sister had wished me dead. I know she didn’t mean it, and I hope she knows she didn’t say anything I hadn’t thought myself. I would have traded my life freely for Ewan’s, but there wasn’t a deal to be made with the devil back then. There is now.
I can’t save Ewan but I can save Fitz. I can protect Rory, and Calder, and Meri. I can protect Grace. They’ll hurt, but Max knows enough to explain that I do thisforthem, not because of them. Shit. Max… He’s going to be so pissed with me.
“Listen to me,” Katarina says, breaking into my thoughts.
“Too late.”
Her eyes widen as her gaze flicks to my tensing trigger finger. “No! You can’t do this to me!”
Her outburst is so on point that I bark out a laugh. “In what fucked up world do you think you’d ever factor into my decision?”
“Because you’re a version of me I don’t ever want to face!” she cries out. Her voice scratches in her throat when she adds, “We’re not that different, you and I. We set ourselves up as protectors, we step in front of the bullets, we take the punches and we fool ourselves into thinking we’re indestructible.” A single, heavy tear rolls down the side of her face. “And then we wake up one morning and discover we’re just as powerless as the next person.”
I watch the tear as it drops onto her silk robe, leaving adark splotch on the light blue fabric. Her words ring true, but her actions speak a different language. “You? A protector?” I scoff. “You weren’t much of a protector when you had someone run Rory off the road.”
She closes her eyes briefly. “Because that’s where we differ. I walked away from my ‘car crash,’ Duke,” she says, using air quotes. “And I vowed never to set myself up for that kind of failure again. These days, I protect myself first and foremost.Always. You, on the other hand…” She points a finger towards my chest. “You’re still desperate to be the fucking hero.”
