Chapter 5
Scarletta
The form is organized into sections with clinical precision. Each one more invasive than the last.
Part I: Psychological Profile
Answer all questions honestly and completely. Your responses will be shared with potential buyers to ensure compatible matching.
My stomach drops.
Shared with buyers. Plural.
Which means multiple people will read whatever I write here. Multiple strangers will know things about me I've never told anyone. Things I barely admit to myself.
You write about this stuff online, I remind myself. Thousands of people have read your darkest fantasies.
But that's different. Those are stories. Fiction. Characters who aren't me.
This is... thisisme.
Question 1: Describe your darkest sexual fantasy in detail. What about it arouses you?
I stare at the text box. Cursor blinking. Waiting.
The smart thing would be to lie. Give them something generic. Something that doesn't expose the twisted parts of my brain.
But they're paying me twenty thousand dollars minimum. They want honesty.
And maybe—maybe I want someone to finally know.
I start typing.
I read it back.
Delete it.
Retype almost the exact same thing.
Delete it again.
Just fucking write it. They already have your bank account information. What's a little soul-baring compared to that?
I type it a third time and force myself to move on before I can second-guess.
Question 2: What is your relationship with shame regarding your sexual desires?
Oh, we're just diving right into the deep end, aren't we?
Question 3: Have you ever wanted to be watched without your knowledge or permission? Why does this appeal to you?
Question 4: Describe a time you felt most vulnerable during a sexual or intimate experience. What made it significant?
My vision blurs.
I'm not crying. I'm just tired.
Liar.
