“Well, if that’s where you want to go, let’s go. Take me there. Let’s explore it together.”
“Take you there, how?”
“In the purple. The Tree of Time, remember? Imagine it, and then take a step forward. Keep hold of my hand and I’ll come with you. Let go of it, and you’ll leave me behind.”
Is he giving me a choice? To bring him along or go alone? “Why bother leaving you behind? You’ll just follow me.”
“No. I won’t. You have to come back to me. You need blood and sex, remember? So why should I chase you if you want to be alone? I’m not insecure. Do you want to see Machu Picchu alone?”
“Why would anyone go anywhere alone? It’s only fun to do exciting things if you can share it with someone.”
“And that’s why I want to be with you. So we can share. Because I’m alone too, Echo.”
Again, he uses my real name. And this is his way of letting me know that he sees me. I am his Little Baby, his pet. And he’s serious about that. But he’s not delusional. HeknowsI’m something else too.
“I do not have to force you to do anything. You will come to me whether you want to or not because you need blood and sex. But don’t you want more than blood or sex? Because I do.”
I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. Then I press my face into his chest, listening to his heart beat. Which is stupid. Because we’re not even here. We’re not even real.
“It keeps time,” Josep says. “That’s how it works.”
I look up at him now. At his beautiful face. “How what works?”
“Everything. The heart, it keeps time. And all you need to make a place real is time, Little Baby Echo. Something to tick it off. So listen to my heart and make something real. Let’s go to Machu Picchu and look at all the ruins. Take me there.”
But I don’t want to go there. Not now. I’m too tired. I’m exhausted. And I’m… sad. I just want to go to bed. But I don’t want to go to bed alone and I don’t want to leave this hug, so instead of imaging the mountains of Peru, I picture a bedroom. Not the hotel room we were at, but something all brand new.
My own bedroom. A dream bedroom.
And the moment I think this, we’re in a bed. And his arms are still around me, and he’s kissing me, and holding me, and I realize he’s a very good abusive partner because… Ilikethis. And it’s crazy. Because he took me to the pit of Hell, and carved up my body with his claws, and put evil symbols all over me, and then turned me with a long drink, and then used me to poison the halfbreeds.
They tore me to shreds. I remember it. I remember every moment of it.
And still, his attention is enough.
This little bit of kindness—which isn’t kindness at all, I understand this—it’s enough. I won’t forget, but I will forgive.
Because I’m not about to give this up.
I will never love him, and I might throw up just thinking about what’s growing inside me, but if he will hold me, and feed me, and fuck me like this? Whether his love is real or not, it’s more than I ever had as a human.
It’s more than I ever thought I deserved.
I roll over in the bed, looking straight into his purple eyes as I climb on top of him and straddle his hips. I place my hands flat on his chest and lower myself down until we’re so close, we could kiss. Then I reach down, grab his hard cock, and gently slip it inside me as I lift my hips.
He almost closes his eyes, which I interpret as pleasure. And then we smile, and kiss, and fuck. And after the fucking… we feed.
Much later, though I am not paying attention to the ticking of time so I have no idea how much later, Lucia shows up in my head.
Josep and I are cuddled up together under the luxurious comforter, his arms around me and his leg hiked over my hip in a possessive embrace.
“I want to say this is brilliant,” she says. “But I’m concerned, Echo, that you might be buying into his lie.”
I mentally swat her away. Not because she’s wrong. She’s not wrong.
Iambuying into this lie.
But if I’m buying into it, is it a lie?
“You need to find the Black blood, Echo. He’s got a vial of it hidden in that cave. That’s how you kill him. You feed him that and?—”
But I’m not listening. In fact, I banish her from my thoughts. And then I turn, press my face into Josep’s muscled chest, and let him hug me harder.
It’s not a lie.
I like this.
And if this is as good as it gets, I’ll take it.
