“Maybe? I don’t know. Like I said, they didn’t tell me anything all growing up. And what Tristin said to me in town was just a tease.”
“Do you need this information? This history of yours?”
“I wouldn’t mind having it. But I’m not going to turn?—”
“Then we should go.”
“What? But what if they hurt you?”
“If they could hurt me, wouldn’t they do that instead of sending you to talk me into it?”
She frowns at me. “Are you doing this because it’s a fair trade for the blood?”
I actually laugh. “Um. Yes. But…” I hold up a finger. “I really do want to make you happy. I like you, Syrsee. If you want to go there so you can get your history, then fuck it. Let’s go. It’s not like we have other plans.”
“You’re not afraid?”
“Of…?”
“The Guild?”
“Maybe I should be, but no. I’m not. I think it’s gone too far.” I point at the emerging wings on my back. “There’s no going back from this. I’m a vampire. And I’ve spent enough time with Paul to understand what kind of power comes with this transformation. Maybe I’m not in control of it yet, but if they had a way to subdue vampires, they would’ve done it already.”
She and I just stare at each other for a moment. Then a small smile begins to creep up her face.
This is when I realize I’m giving her something she truly, truly wants. She wants to go home and I’m the only way she can do that. Itisa fair trade. And I don’t care what these Guild people try to do to me, as long as Syrsee is happy, then I will let them do it. “Do you know the way, Syrsee?”
“Yes. It’s up in New Hampshire.”
“Should we leave tomorrow?”
Syrsee scoffs. “Tomorrow?No. We just got here, Ryet. I need a break. Don’t you need a break?”
“I need what you need. I want to give you whatever it is you need. And if you need to go home, that’s what we’ll do.”
Everything about her softens as these words of mine float through the air, drifting on some unseen current. Syrsee watches them, like they are real things that can be seen. And when hereyes meet mine again, she suddenly looks like the woman I met outside the diner that night. Someone who hadn’t yet met me. Who hadn’t yet been changed by me.
I want her back, that version of her. The happy one. I want her back.
She’s unhappy now. And maybe, in the future, we will get more moments where we come together on an issue, like we’re coming together on this one, but that’s not the same as happiness. It’s something far less than happiness.
“I want you to know,” I say, my voice low and my eyes locked with hers, “that I really mean that. Whatever you need, Syrsee. It’s yours. And while the trip is a good way to start making up for what I’ve turned you into?—”
“What you’ve turnedmeinto?” She’s pointing at herself. “Ryet, I’m the one who did this toyou.”
But I’m shaking my head no. It wasn’t her who did this, it was Paul. But I’m not in the mood to discuss Paul right now, so I just finish my sentiment. “This trip is just the start, Syrsee. If you have to be a slave to my hunger, then I have to be a slave to your happiness. Whatever you need, I will provide it.”
We stare at each other for a long moment, simply looking into each other’s eyes. Is she searching for truth? Is she condemning me to Hell? Is she thinking…He’s manipulating me. He’s evil and so are all his promises?
Because that’s what I would be thinking if it were me in her place and Paul in mine. I would be thinking,Lies.He is nothing but lies.
Syrsee comes around the counter and walks right up to me until we are so close, she has to look up to meet my gaze. Her arms drape around my neck, sending chills down my spine, and then she leans up on her tiptoes and kisses me.
It’s a small kiss. There’s no tongue and we don’t really linger. So when she pulls back I ask, “What was that for?”
“For… being patient with me this afternoon as I was freaking out.”
“To be fair”—I let out a breath—“you have every reason in the world to freak out about what’s happening to us.”
