“Tous,” she says. “That’s the thing I was forgetting. It’s not happening to me, it’s not happening to you, it’s happening to us. I like you, Ryet. And if I wasn’t stuck with you for the rest of my life, that’s all I would be thinking about. How I would love to be stuck with you for the rest of my life. How could I stick you to me? That’s the question I would be asking myself.” She pauses, like she’s trying to come up with the right words to express her thoughts. “It’s like… a soulmate bond. Something very romantic in the movies. Two people forced into being a team due to forces beyond their control.”
“Who fall in love despite their differences,” I add.
And this makes her smile. She might even, for a moment, be happy. “They fall in love despite their differences, and then overcome great challenges. Which only makes their bond stronger.”
“And by the end, they’re dying to die for each other.”
She laughs. And it’s a real laugh. “Yeah. That.”
“Well, I would like to go on record that I’m truly sorry for stealing your happiness, Syrsee. If it were up to me, I would set you free. Iwoulddie for you.”
“Please don’t do that.” She reaches up and places a hand on my cheek. “For real, Ryet. Please,pleasedon’t die for me. Please don’t leave me alone in this stupid, evil, unfair world.”
Is it magic? Have I somehow… done something to influence her feelings? Because this is what I wanted. Syrsee, desperately in love with me.
And now here she is, and… I sigh. “I promise. I won’t die for you unless it’s absolutely necessary. But let’s not romanticizethis, OK? Let’s keep it real. This is important to me. I need to feel like this is real because so much of my life has been a lie.”
“Well, I can certainly relate to that.”
“Your hesitations about me, us, all of it—they were completely justified. I’m never going to stop wanting your blood. I’m always gonna crave your blood. And this need of mine, it’s a physical thing.”
She sucks in a breath and presses her lips together, like she’s trying to be brave. “I understand. But… what if you craved… kissing me?”
“What?”
“What if you craved… complimenting me?”
I smile down at her, feeling a new lightness in my heavy soul. And this lightness, once again, takes me back to that night outside the diner. When the snow was fresh, and her smile was new, and even though we had no idea where this was going, it was still good.
She doesn’t have to do this. She doesn’t have to ease my guilt. But that is what she’s trying to do. And this is a gift I don’t think I will be able to repay. Not because I don’t want to, but because there is nothing I could give her that would compare to the blood she’s giving me. There is no way for me to even out this debt I’m incurring. And she has every right to resent me for this eternal disparity that began, pretty much, the day we met. “It’s a small thing, Syrsee. Craving your lips and calling you pretty.”
“Maybe to you. But I would love it. You’d be the perfect boyfriend. All considerate, and polite—you really are polite.” I laugh. “And traditional. Not to mention handy.” She grins up at me. “If you craved me in any other way it would be amazing. So why is craving my blood so different?”
“You tell me.”
“Because I am insecure, Ryet. And acting like a child about it. Blaming you, instead of coming to terms with my feelings. Iwant to resent you because I can’t resent myself. But I’m the one who did this to you. And the hypocrisy of blaming you for my mistakes… well. It’s next-level deception.”
“How about we just call a do-over?”
“No. It’s not enough. I’m sorry, Ryet. And I need to apologize.”
I don’t want to accept her apology because it’s unnecessary. But it would put this quarrel to bed if I do. So I say, “I will forgive you if you forgive me.”
She smirks up at me. “What do you need to apologize for?”
I laugh. “All of it.”
“It’s not your fault, Ryet. And you were right, earlier.Ifedyou. I made this decision for you. And I’m truly, truly?—”
I cup her chin in my hand and press my thumb against her lips to silence her words. “It’s over. Don’t apologize again. You saved me, and even though it’s a little bit terrifying that wings are starting to grow out of my back, I’m glad you saved me. I haven’t had much happiness in my life, Syrsee. It’s actually been a pretty shitty ride so far. But this time with you? It means everything to me now. And I would not trade death for this.”
“OK.” She exhales and nods her head. “Do-over.”
I take her face in both my hands and then I lean in and kiss her properly. It’s long, and lingering, and there’s lots of tongue.
She pulls away first, blushing and breathy. Then she takes my hand and leads me towards the bedroom where her things are.
I follow, nearly grinning maniacally with this turn of events. “What about your dinner?”
