“I—” Luke starts, but then his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out. Izzy’s face lights up the screen. “I need to go,” he says, leaning away again.
“Really?” I ask, unable to keep the snark out of my voice.
“Yeah.” He looks back up at me, apologetic. “We made plans.”
“Fine.” I stand up, balling my paper plate.
“Sera.”
“It’s fine,” I say, managing to sound normal, but he hesitates.
“Really,” I say. “I should get going anyway. Camp tomorrow. And Jackson’s back from Nantucket tomorrow too. I’ll see you at the blood drive this weekend.”
Before he can say anything else, I leave, my footsteps echoing down the dock. I feel tears well in my eyes and wipe them away angrily. Friends? Yeah right. I can’t stop feeling like it’s supposed to be more, and that just keeps getting in the way. I need a reality check. I need to move the fuck on. I don’t have any more time to waste.
Chapter Fifteen
Luke
July is our busiest month. The store is always slammed from the minute we open. At least the craziness keeps my mind off of the fact that Sera hasn’t texted me back since we went out on the boat yesterday.
The regulars beeline for the back, ducking beneath the old Nyeman’s sign to the area where they know Nana is hiding the best antiques. The newer people browse through all the boutique stuff up front—the Cape decor, table settings, and local artisanal foods. Mom pops in for a few minutes to get a book of samples for a client and leave the boys upstairs with Nana and Gramps while she’s out. I barely pause all day. Between customers needing help and my mom’s interior decorating clients stopping in with questions and requests, I’m swamped.
If every day was like this all year, maybe I could go to college for real, instead of just taking a couple classes at the community college. But summer is short, and the debt is long, and it’s good that I barely have time to think of another way it could be.
Izzy comes in right at closing time and locks the door behind her, then flips theOpensign over. I thank her as I pop open the register and start counting out the drawer.
“Ready for date night?” she asks, leaning across the counter, smelling like peppermint ChapStick and sunscreen. I flinch a little at the worddate, Sera’s accusation from the Fourth still fresh in my mind. I don’t think I need to check with Izzy that we’re on the same page, but maybe I should.
“In a bit. How was the beach?”
“Crowded.” She frowns. “The July Fourth crowds are still here. I wish there was like a Northport locals–only place, you know? So we didn’t have to share.” She plays with the pennies in the take-one-leave-one dish while I check the messages on the landline. There are a few voicemails for my mom, which is great. Summer rentals and new local buyers looking to decorate will hopefully carry us through the winter. A few people have asked for light handyman work, which I’ve got to schedule in, but since one of the cashiers quit, I’ve been too busy today to do that.
“Earth to Luke.” Izzy waves a hand in my face, and I lose track of the fives I’m counting.
“Sorry, yeah, a beach for just us, sounds…” I think about the Beach at the End of the Universe, Sera lying back on the space rock in her bikini, the sun in her hair, her scream of laughter as she jumped into the icy water. I shake my head to clear her out of it. No matter what happens between us, I’m not sharing our beach with anyone else. “Cool, but probably unrealistic.”
Izzy rolls her eyes, picks up the ones, and counts them forme. “You ready now?” She hefts the tote bag she has over her shoulder. “I rented a bunch of those old sci-fi DVDs that you love from the library. I thought we could have a movie night, since my parents are still out on Martha’s Vineyard.”
“That sounds perfect, Iz.” I smile. “Dinner first?” I ask, my stomach cramping. I shoved a bag of chocolate-covered almonds in my mouth around lunch and it didn’t suffice. Plus Mom won’t love that. They were ten-dollar almonds.
“Sure. Waterviews?” she suggests.
I waver. I love Maddy’s family’s place, and their prices are low, but Sera might be there.
“Maybe fish-and-chips instead?”
“Sure.”
“Great. Give me five.”
I slide all the cash into the deposit bag and head back to the office to lock it in the safe. I hate being in here, even though Mom’s totally redone it. Every time it’s like I’m going to walk in on my dad and that woman again.
Izzy and I leave out the back once all the lights are off. I lock up and head to my truck, opening the door for Izzy to get in. I move some of my random sketches off the seat into the back so she has somewhere to sit.
“Thank you.” She leans up and kisses my cheek. The contact is brief, familiar, nice, but a little…empty. I can’t help but notice it doesn’t travel inward and sizzle in my chest the way even just being near Sera does.
Izzy’s family lives inland, closer to the high school, in a newer development where half the houses’ cedar siding is still fresh and yellow. We stop at the fried seafood stand and getour food to go. Izzy chats the whole time about how she’s thinking about taking more film classes next year. I nod along, but I’m not fully here. I get like this a lot. This feeling like I’m living in a movie of my own life, a disconnect where my mind doesn’t feel like it has any control over my body. I can’t stop thinking about the rent that’s due next week on the shop. I should’ve just asked Izzy to wait another fifteen minutes while I called and booked those consultations for Mom and the work for me. We need as much income this summer as we can get before the offseason hits and all the money leaves the Cape. Izzy notices I’m spacing and gently taps my arm.
