“I do want that.” I sigh. “Can we just forget this?” I ask, meeting his eyes.
“Forget what?” Luke says with a smirk.
I feel the tension dissipate a little and point to the moving line. “You want one, right?” Luke’s eyes search my face. I feel like he can tell there’s something I’m still not saying, and there is, but right now isn’t the time.
“No. I’m fine, actually. I should get back. My mom is probably dealing with Oliver forgetting his Lactaid right about now. Catch up later?”
“Sure.” When he doesn’t leave right away, giving me a look that pricks at my heart, I add on a “That would be great.” And that seems to work. He leans in like he’s going to hug me, then stops and awkwardly pats me on the shoulder like I’m one of his teammates before he disappears into the crowd.
The first firework goes off, alerting everyone that the showwill start in five minutes. I move to the back of the beach, as close to the dunes as I can get, my Popsicle melting into the sand between my feet. The sparks of that one solitary explosion fade away into the blue-black sky, and I feel like I’m the thing that’s been shattered into a thousand pops of light, but I don’t know what to do about it.
Chapter Thirteen
Sera
On Tuesday, I have the house to myself. Mom and Dad are out shopping for a new dishwasher, since ours announced its retirement last night. And Abbi is out at the beach with Cam. I set my easel up outside on the patio and try to make real progress on my first fellowship application piece. I’ve gone for a bigger size than I’m used to, and my order of 24-by-36-inch watercolor paper just came in yesterday. I start in a corner where there’s nothing but ocean water, playing with oversaturating and blotting. I try out different colors for the layer underneath the blue until I’m happy with yellow. It creates an interesting glow effect.Although…I feel the idea creep up on me like the sun has struck me in the back. I could use a different color for each one. It would set their moods. Golden yellow for childhood, dark purple for now, and maybe light green for the future. I get as comfortable as I can on my stool and start in with one of my larger brushes.
I’m so lost in the process that I don’t hear Maddy come in until she’s right behind me.
“Earth to Sera!” she singsongs. I yelp and almost fall off my stool. “Oops. Sorry.” She laughs as I turn and flick my brush at her.
“Maybe you should add becoming a spy to your potential job list.”
“Nah.” She recovers and pulls off her glasses, waving them in my face. “I’m too memorable.”
“True.” My heart finally slows down, and I start to collect my brushes to take in and clean. “What’s up?”
“So, I took off work early, and I’m feeling like spending some of these tips.” She puts her glasses back on and flashes a sticky-looking wad of small bills. “Wanna get a late lunch and go shopping?”
“Totally, let me change.”
“No, no, no.” Maddy grabs my elbow and leads me into the house. “You’re perfect. Comfy and in easy-to-take-off clothes. All the better for trying things on.” She gestures to her own outfit. She’s wearing black leggings and a white T-shirt that has seen better days. Throw the apron she wears at the diner over it and I might ask her for a milkshake. I look down at my beach shorts and faded striped T-shirt.
“Okay, if you’re sure this isn’t a crime to wear in public,” I say.
“I’m sure!”
I put my brushes in the sink, then slip on some flip-flops and grab my bag by the door. We wave at Paula, who is on herway out too, herding Oliver and Adam into the back of her little blue car. There’s no sign of Luke or his truck. He must be at Nyeman’s or working a shift at the marina.
As we walk through my neighborhood, Maddy points to the new aboveground pool the neighbors put up on the corner.
“I know Northport Beach is close, but I’dlovea pool.”
“I think I’d prefer an in-ground,” I say as we pass by.
“Oh, like the fancy one at Ryan O’Rourke’s house? Most epic graduation party I’ve ever been to,” Maddy says.
I smile. It was epic. It also was one of those confusing days where things with Luke almost went somewhere.
I’d convinced my mom to buy me my junior prom dress early and met him there.
“You’re blue, like the honeybee,” Luke said, grinning when he found me by the dessert tables.
I did a spin for him in my silk dress, delighted. “Thanks. You look great!” I said, surprised by how grown-up he looked in his suit.
“It’s my Christmas church suit,” Luke complained, looking around the crowded yard like he was worried he didn’t belong. Throngs of wealthy grown-ups sparkled in suits and gowns, holding champagne glasses. Platters of shrimp, grilled meat, and tiny lobster rolls seemed to replenish like magic. We were on the dance floor by the pool when Ryan came running through and jumped straight into the water. A slew of kids followed.
I raised my eyebrows at Luke.
