“Hi, Sera,” Adam says as I sit down. “Do you want a brownie?”
“What kind of question is that?” I ask, and when he looks at me confused, I laugh. “Of course I do. I’d never say no to one of your mom’s brownies.”
“Well, duh.” He laughs and cuts me a piece, placing it on a blue napkin before passing it over carefully. I take it with as much seriousness as I can manage.
“Thank you, sir.”
“You’re welcome…ma’am.” He bows back at me, tipping an invisible hat. I laugh and reach out to muss up his hair. He suddenly looks so much like Luke when we were little that I’m hit with a hard feeling of nostalgia.
Soon the beach is full, as if the whole town is here, even though sunset still hasn’t fully darkened the sky. I’m trying not to get antsy, but it’s bothering me that Luke isn’t here with his family.
“Paula,” I ask, “is Luke here?”
“Oh, somewhere.” She gestures at the crowd. “His friends came and stole him a little while ago, once he was done helping set up. You should go find them.”
I do need to find Maddy, I justify to myself as I stand up. She promised to bring a batch of her newest cookies as a test run for the ones she’s making for the annual blood drive next weekend. “That okay, Mom?” I ask.
“Sure, honey, just bring your phone so you can find your way back when it gets dark.” I wave my phone at her and head off toward a group of kids I recognize from the bonfire, keeping an eye out for Maddy’s brunette bob or Luke’s towering frame.I’m glad I’m here,I think as I weave around families on the beach. Doing something new with Jackson’s friends might have been fun, but I missed this tradition.
I hear my name and turn. “Sera!” It’s Izzy, just a few feet away, sitting on a blanket next to Luke.
“Hey,” I say. “Happy Fourth.”
“Wanna sit?” Izzy says, motioning to the spot next to her and moving a small cooler over to make space. She opens it to pull out a couple beers. I look at her cozied up to Luke and shake my head. Luke opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.
“I have to find Maddy, but thanks,” I say. I turn to go, trying to swallow down the sudden lump in my throat.
Seeing them has opened a crack in the wall around my memories from two summers ago, and that Fourth of July comes racing into the front of my mind.
That summer, Luke and I had plans to go watch the fireworks from our beach. I packed snacks and blankets and met him on his back step.
“Hey,” he said, smirking, as he opened the door. “Look what I scored.” He held up two packs of sparklers and a couple beers.
My heart sank a little. I didn’t want to drink. We weren’t supposed to. I knew his doctors told him almost the same things as mine told me, even though he didn’t need to be onimmunosuppressants like I did. But I felt weird saying that when he was excited, and I didn’t have to have one. Plus he did seem a little cheerier than he’d been for the last few days. Something had been bothering him that he wouldn’t share with me no matter how much I bugged him about it.
“Oh,” I managed, “okay. Ready to go?”
At the beach we set everything up on the rock, and Luke drank one of the beers while I nibbled on snacks.
“What’s going on with you?” I finally asked, when he’d finished the can and crushed it under his heel. He ducked his head away from me and shrugged.
“Nothing.”
“Nothingdoesn’t make you drink beer when you’ve never had it before,” I said, a little angrier than I meant it to come out.
“I’ve had beer before, Sera,” he said, bristling. I wanted to demand when and with who, but I felt silly and childish. Instead, I scooched closer to him. The sky was dark and clear, the moon low, stars out galore.
“Show me the constellations?” I asked.
To my relief, he leaned into me, a warm pressure that my body focused in on. The backs of our hands were touching. Luke looked down and intertwined his fingers with mine. Our eyes met. He squeezed my hand tight, and I could feel our heartbeats pounding away together in my palm. I leaned a little closer. His breath smelled sour and bready, and it cut straight through the thought I’d had, that maybe I could kiss him. I wrinkled my nose at him and turned away, grateful I hadn’t done anything stupid.
“The constellations are up there,” I joked, letting go of his hand and pointing to the sky above us. But Luke didn’t look away.
“I don’t want to look at the constellations, Sera,” he said, taking my hand back. My heart started to race, each beat climbing up into my throat.
“What else are we supposed to do while we wait for the fireworks?” I asked, wondering if he was thinking the same thing I’d been thinking before. That it was romantic, out here on our space rock, no one else for miles.
Luke shrugged, then reached for the second beer, breaking the spell. I shifted away from him just as the first fireworks started a mile offshore, vibrating the air around us. I felt lightheaded suddenly, and a little dizzy. I dropped my head onto my knees and closed my eyes for a second.
