“Fuck! There’s no way I’m heading down there!”
My phone beeps. An email from Lois.
“She actually fucking did it.” I jump to my feet. “She got me a fucking plane ticket!”
“Don’t worry about the cab—I’ll drop you on my way to Becca.”
“No way. There’s no way I’m doing this, Cart.”
“Why?”
“I can’t go and spend Christmas with a family I don’t know.”
“But you know Lois.”
“So what? It’s just too weird. And lame,” I add.
“Bullshit. You talked me into spending it with Becca, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but she’s your girlfriend.”
“And this is Lois.”
“Whoisn’tmy girlfriend,” I snap.
He snickers. I feel like punching him in the face.
“Anyway, it’s too late. It would be rude to say no, now that your flight is booked and all. I brought you up to be a nice, polite young man.”
“Why does life hate me? This is a conspiracy.” I close my eyes. “Let me call her back.”
I dial her number, and the phone rings and rings. Just when I think I’m about to hit voicemail, a deep voice greets me.
“Lane, I take it?”
The man sounds friendly.
“Yeah,” I start.
“Did you get your ticket?”
“Yes, but—”
“Excellent! Lois will be there when you land. We can’t wait to meet her new friend.”
“Listen, sir, it’s really kind of you, and I appreciate it and all, but I can’t accept. Let me pay you back—”
“My daughter doesn’t take no for an answer, does she?” he interrupts.
“No, sir.”
“And I’m her father.” He pauses for effect. “See where I’m going with this?”
“The apple doesn’t fall far, huh?”
“You’re a fast learner, son. I like that. Your flight leaves at nine forty-five. If you miss it, my daughter will spend the rest of the break sulking—and that’s a price I’m not willing to pay. Did she tell you I’m a retired cop?” he adds. “I can arrest you for crimes against Christmas.”
I burst out laughing. He’s joking, right?
