“Yeah—because ofyou!”
My phone is ringing again, but this time, I’m too scared to pick up.
“Answer it before you get a real spanking.”
I flip him off, but the bastard grabs the phone off me, sliding it back onto loudspeaker.
“You done yelling?” I grumble.
Lois clears her throat. “Your birthday is August twenty-eighth, right?”
“Why?”
“Just answer,” she says coolly.
“Yeah…”
I hear her whisper, a man’s voice murmuring somewhere behind her.
“You listen to me, you stubborn little shit—” she starts up again.
“You—”
“Zip it! Go to your room, pack a bag, and order yourself a cab for tomorrow morning.”
I stare at the phone in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
“Make it an early night. Oh, and insider tip: Set your alarm for six.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Your flight leaves at nine forty-five tomorrow,” she says. “And I swear, if you miss it—”
“My flight? Lois, I don’t get it…”
Carter is practically on the floor laughing. I shoot him a dirty look. I’m so lost right now.
“My flight?” I repeat, and that’s when it dawns on me. “Wait a minute—are you seriously saying I should come spend Christmas with you?”
“Oh, there’s noshouldabout it, Lane. My dad bought you a ticket. And it’s nonrefundable.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me. There’s no way I’m crashing your parents’ place for Christmas!”
“See you tomorrow, Laney!” she singsongs like a maniac.
“No, Lois! I—”
“Oh, and pack a nice shirt. Hard pass on the denim.”
“Lois!”
“Safe travels!”
The little bitch hung up on me!
“This… this has got to be a joke, right?” I stammer.
Carter is clutching his stomach. “I don’t think it gets much more serious than this.”