“I love him,” she cries.
He grabs her by the throat, making her shiver in his grasp. “You think you know what love is?”
“I know I do.”
“You’re wrong. Love is a lie. There is only want and need. You want power. You need me to give it to you.”
She wraps her hands around his wrist and throws his grip off her. “I need him. I need both of us to live.”
“That is not an option.”
“Why?Why do you hate him so much? Why did you stop his ancestor’s ascension and curse his entire bloodline?
“Free me and I’ll tell you.”
“Freeyou?” She laughs. “You don’t deserve to be free. This is exactly where you belong.” Looking around the realm, she says, “You said you were trapped here because of Sidarphion. Clearly, that was another lie. How did it really happen?”
“I cannot say. There is another force at play. If you know their name, they will know yours. The only way we win is by playing in their blind spots. The more you know of the truth, the more danger you’re in. That’s why I lied. I’m protecting you.”
“Only because I’m your last hope.”
He sighs. “How are you still so naive, Claudia? When I’m free, you’ll see who I truly am. I will be a god bent to your will. You will have me however you want me.”
“I don’t want you at all.”
“But you want more of my taste.” His mouth is so close to hers. When he exhales, she can smell the magic on his breath. He turns her in his grasp, pressing her back to his front. One arm is around her chest, while the other belts her waist. Against her ear, he murmurs, “My teeth marks are on your soul. My power is the sweetness on your tongue that makes your lover growl.”
Her chest tightens at the mention of him. “Cassius loves me. It has nothing to do with how you’ve stained me.”
“Cassius wants what I already own. You are mine.”
“No, I’m not. You’re a nightmare and you deserve to rot here. I will not free you.”
“You won’t keep your word?” Mockingly, he asks, “You don’t want to be a good girl for me?”
She scowls in disgust. “Don’t call me that. You don’t want me to be good. You want me to be like you.”
“You know there is no point to being good, right? There is no prize. There is no cosmic separation between saints and sinners. Death swallows you all the same. Which is fucking lucky for you with all that blood on your hands.” She whimpers, but he says, “No. Don’t cower. Own what you’ve done. Revel in it.” He licks up the scar on her palm. “Goodness itself is a moralistic, oppressive myth. It’s a surrender. It conditions you to be content with less than you deserve. There is no honor in denying yourself pleasure or suppressing your darkest urges. Desire is the only noble pursuit. You can be good, or you can be one of the greats. You cannot be both.” Gently, he slides his hands down her arms and laces his fingers with hers. “I know I’m not good. But you know if you choose me, you don’t have to be good, either. With me, you can be anything you want. You can live without shame or guilt or restraint. You can be a star and a nightmare. You can be light and dark.”
“Stop.” Her voice comes out weak and quiet. “I am good. I am not a killer.”
“Open your mind to see yourself the way I do. The world would call you evil for your ambition. For your sharp tongue. For your rage. For your desire. But I don’t see anything wrong with you, Claudia Jolicoeur. When I see you with all your brilliance, all your fury, I see the beginnings of a god. I could make you a god of anything you wanted. You could transcend the mortal order of good and evil entirely. All you have to do is trust in your own greatness.”
Slowly, he positions himself before her and presses a cold kiss to her forehead, playing a gorgeous vision across her mind. She sees herself, but better. Re-formed into something beautiful and powerful. She watches herself dance through a world of dreams, dressed in shadow, against a backdrop of a yellow sky. This is what she could be if she chose him.
She could be a god.
She could be perfect.
“God of Time and Mercy,” Sidarphion whispers into her ear. “Auridolace.”
Auridolace.It echoes in her mind, etching itself into her bones.
But it’s not an anagram, is it? Envisioning the word, she pullsClaudiaout of the name, and she’s not left withJolicoeur.
She’s left withRoe.
Not her father’s name—hermother’s.
