“I’m here for the summer,” I add.
Salvatore’s so confident, his presence so commanding, that I can’t take my eyes off him. But could I actually get off with him? Would I be capable of that?
“And do you like my country?” he asks.
Before I can reply, a drink’s thrust into my hand.
“Here you go,” says Ian.
I smile as I take hold of it. I register a look of surprise on Ian’s face. He’d never judge me but suddenly I can see how tacky and cheap I must look.
“Ciao,” Salvatore says, unenthusiastically. He turns back to me. “Is this your boyfriend?”
“No, he’s my sister.” I pause as I consider what to say next. “My boyfriend’s back at the house.”
The muscles in Salvatore’s face tense, ever so slightly.
“With his kids,” I elaborate. “He used to be married to a woman.”
Salvatore runs his hand through his quiff. “And do you have an open relationship?”
I purse my lips. “No. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”
Ian leans into my ear. “Shall we get away, Adam?”
“Yeah.” I say goodbye to Salvatore but he’s already turned his back.
“What was all that about?” Ian asks when we’re walking upstairs.
I let out a groan. “I don’t know, he just came over and chatted me up. I wasn’t expecting it, to be honest. And I know it’s awful but for a minute I actually considered getting off with him.”
We reach the balcony and take up a spot by the balustrade, looking out to the beach. I watch the moonlight dance over the waves of the sea and breathe in the salty air.
“It’s not awful,” Ian says. “He was hot. And you’ve had a tough few weeks.”
I rub my jaw. “It’s just really hard with Theo. Well, not Theo: the whole situation.”
“I know. But remember what it is you want: you’ve always said you want to fall in love with a man who’ll never stop loving you.”
I tip back my drink. “But that’s just it, Ian. At the moment I can’t see Theo sticking it out.”
Ian stirs his drink with the straw. “Yeah, but that might be your abandonment issues talking.”
“Maybe. Or it could be that I was only attracted to him in the first place because I sensed he wasn’t ready for a gay relationship and wanted to punish myself.”
“Adam, where’s all this coming from?”
“I don’t know.” I grip the balustrade. “Oh, Ian, what if I’m just not meant to be with him? What if the whole family situation isn’t right for me? What if I’m meant to move out here with you guys and set up some sort of queer commune?”
Ian smirks. “I must admit, that does sound appealing.”
“You always say you don’t need anyone because you’ve got us …”
“Yeah, but I’ve had my great love,” Ian goes on. “And it maynot have lasted as long as it should but I consider myself lucky that me and Greg had the time we did.”
I stab at my ice cubes, remembering Greg.
“You haven’t had yours,” Ian continues, “or you may have found it but you haven’t seen it through yet. And not everyone wants a great love but you’ve got to be honest with yourself and work out if you still do.”
