Theo walks at the head of our group, slashing at the brambles with a sickle we found in one of the outhouses. A few steps behind him, I prune what he missed with a pair of secateurs. Behind me comes Archie, then Mabel, with Callum bringing up the rear.
We pass the ruins of a laborers’ cottage—with its own stable block—which I’ve seen on the deeds but is almost completely overgrown with brambles and bamboo. I try not to think about how long it’ll take for the path we’re clearing to be reclaimed by nature.
It’s early afternoon and the hottest time of the day. I wipe the sweat from my forehead and notice that Theo is developing a damp patch on his back. As he swings his blade from side to side, he lets out a little grunt.
“It’s like watching Indiana Jones,” I joke.
“Hardly,” quips Theo. “And didn’t Indiana Jones have a whip, not a sickle?”
“I’ve no idea but you look very manly.”
“Urgh, will you two stop flirting?” complains Callum from behind us.
“It’s gross!” agrees Mabel.
Defiance cuts through me. I think about Wilf and Arnaldo, having to hide their love away. “Guys, you shouldn’t say things like that. Your dad and I have every right to express our feelings for each other.”
Callum scoffs. “I didn’t know we were coming on a Gay Pride march.”
My defiance surges. “Actually, Gay Pride marches are important. For years, couples like us were made to feel ashamed of who we were. Remember it was a gay couple who owned this house before us. And if you think the boys at school can be savage, imagine what kind of things people said in those days.”
Before he can reply, into our path lands a snake. It just appears from the bushes and slides to a stop before us.
Instinctively, Theo and I jump back.
“Bloody hell!” he bursts out.
I howl in terror.
The kids lean forward, peering around us.
“What is it?” asks Callum.
The snake’s coiled up but must be more than a meter long. It’s dark green, with black markings. We’re so close I can see its scales.
When Mabel registers what it is, she screams, louder than I’ve ever heard her scream.
“It’s OK,” says Theo, reverting to his usual calm. “Stay still and nobody panic.”
We do as he says and the snake slithers off, into the bushes on the other side.
“It was only a grass snake,” Theo’s quick to reassure us. “I know it was a shock but it couldn’t have done us any harm.”
Mabel, however, has gone into some kind of panic, breathing in and out shallowly and frenetically. “Oh my god, we nearly died. Oh my god, we nearly died. Oh my god, we nearly died.”
Archie ignores her. “Can we go into the bushes and find it?” he asks, tugging on his dad’s hand.
“No, squirt,” says Theo. “I think it wants to be on its own.”
Theo tries to calm Mabel down but she won’t listen to him. She just continues repeating the same line. “Oh my god, we nearly died.”
Soon, Callum is irritated. “Mabel, will you stop being such a drama queen?”
“Right, let’s all just stop and have a minute,” Theo commands.
After a short discussion, we decide that I’ll walk back with Mabel and Archie. I’ll take them to the village via the usual route, through the olive grove and down the winding road. Theo and Callum, meanwhile, will continue clearing the footpath and meet us in our usual café.
For the entire walk—which lasts about half an hour—Mabel refuses to say a word.
