‘Thank you,’ I said, willing away the tears that were once again threatening to gather.
‘I understand you want revenge,’ said Marcel, ‘but I think your cousin is right. It would be foolish to go after the man who killed your brother.’
‘It would be suicidal,’ said Gaston. He placed a hand on my shoulder. ‘Please do not pursue this any further.’
As was becoming the pattern of my emotions, after the wave of grief for Edgar came the anger. I shrugged Gaston’s hand away. ‘I thought I could rely on you.’ I noted the fleeting look of hurt cross his face, and for a second it was satisfying. As I brushed past him and out of the door, I was already regretting it, but my anger and my pride would not allow me to turn back and apologise.
I marched across the clearing, but before I had even reached the campfire, the sound of booted feet on the ground catching me up had me turning around. It was Marcel.
‘Nathalie, wait,’ he said, coming to a stop in front of me. ‘Gaston has your best interests at heart. You’re his cousin. Of course he’s not going to encourage you to put yourself in danger. You cannot be too harsh on him.’
My shoulders slumped. ‘I know. I will say sorry.’
‘Yes. Quite right, too.’
I eyed Marcel. He was much taller than me and his eyes looked darker than they had before. There was a small cut on the side of his cheek that I hadn’t noticed before in the hut.
‘What happened to your face?’ I asked.
Marcel’s hand went to his cheek. ‘Oh, that. Nothing. Got into a scuffle. You should see the other chap.’
‘Was it the other night, on your … whatever it was you were doing dressed as a German officer?’
‘You know I can’t tell you that,’ said Marcel. ‘Everything is on a need-to-know basis, plus if ever you’re questioned, you can’t let slip what you don’t know.’
I nodded. Of course I knew that. Everyone did. ‘I’m glad you’re not more seriously hurt,’ I said.
He gave me a half-smile, as if he didn’t quite know what to make of me. ‘Yes. Me too,’ he said. ‘Look, why don’t you make peace with your cousin? He thinks a lot of you. He was telling me about how you and your brother would come and stay with them every summer.’
‘He was, was he?’ I raised my eyebrows. ‘What else did he say?’
Now Marcel really did smile. ‘Need-to-know.’ He tapped the side his nose.
I couldn’t help returning the smile, but then I grew serious again. ‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’ I asked. The question obviously caught him by surprise, but he answered.
‘Yes, I’m one of four brothers. I’m the eldest.’
‘If something happened to one of them, you’d feel the same as me, wouldn’t you?’
‘Without a doubt.’
‘You understand my need for revenge?’
‘Yes, I understand but …’
‘Then teach me how to fire a gun. Get me a handgun I can use. Small enough to keep in my bag so that I can have it with me all the time.’
‘I really don’t think that’s a good idea,’ said Marcel. ‘Just because I understand, doesn’t mean I approve. I’m with your cousin on this.’
I had a feeling he wasn’t going to budge. ‘All right.’
‘All right?’ He looked questioningly at me.
‘Yes. All right.’
‘Is that it? After all the shit you gave Gaston, now you’re just accepting it from me without any argument?’
‘You should count yourself lucky,’ I replied. ‘Anyway, if no one here will help me, I’ll find someone who can.’
