Giving her daughter a firm look, Caroline said evenly, ‘Thank you for the kind offer, but we couldn’t possibly...’ She put her hand up as he began to protest. ‘We wouldn’t be able to afford the train fare.’
In a smaller voice, Annabel asked, ‘Why don’t we use the money we’re saving for our beach trip? Wouldn’t it be more fun to go riding in Scotland?’
Thankfully, Gil interjected, ‘You are very welcome to come and ride here whenever you want.’
After lunch, it was agreed that the party would split into two groups. Gil would accompany Annabel to a riding school nearby, while Angus would take Caroline for a proper canter through the fields. They would meet back at the farm in a few hours.
Although reluctant to be alone with Angus, Caroline was won over by Annabel’s enthusiasm for the riding school. Before long, she and Angus were trotting out of the village, entering into a cool, dark forest, birds scattering from the treetops as they meandered through the oaks. A stream trickled over rocky outcrops, the water glinting in the dappled sunshine, and Caroline watched Angus, his form strong as he fell into step beside her. She could hardly believe they were both there.
‘It must feel good to get out of the city,’ he said.
She breathed in the cool, mossy air. ‘It reminds me of home, of where I grew up.’
‘Don’t you feel settled in London after all these years?’
‘I’ve never been comfortable there.’ She found her breath sticking in her throat, all the words she suddenly needed to say but didn’t know how. ‘I had to change after you left; I had to make do with anything I could get, and that was living with Frank in Camden. My only goal was to keep Annabel alive, no matter what I had to sacrifice, but even sucha simple task as that seemed huge when I had to beg a man to marry me.’ Her voice trembled with the truth of it. ‘Sometimes your dreams are reduced to the very basics: I want my child to live. I would work a thousand hours, bend over backwards for a man I loathe, do anything to give her a good, balanced childhood. That’s all I can do.’
And suddenly, with a sense of frustration, she leaned forward, and with a sharp, ‘Let’s go,’ she broke into a canter.
Weaving ahead of Angus through the trees, she aimed for the sunlight, coming out into an empty pasture, where, gripping hold of the reins, she took the horse into a full gallop, the fresh wind racing through her as she sped across the land, gaining speed and pace with every stride.
How exhilarating it was! Her frustration with the sheer strain and toughness of life blown away as the fresh air pumped through her lungs, through her whole body. Her miserable reality was left behind as she sped faster and faster, rising off the saddle to urge the horse onward. If she carried on forever, maybe she’d never have to go back again. She could turn back the clock. Only this time, she’d wait for Angus. She’d wait for the man she loved.
Galloping hard, Angus drew his horse up beside hers, racing her through the field and up to the top of the hill before calling for the horse to slow.
Gradually, they drew to a halt at the ridge. There, Caroline caught her breath at the view over the great valley, the hills bathed in the afternoon sunshine as they rolled down to the sea.
It felt so still, so quiet, the noise of the outside world silenced. As they looked over the vast world, they caught each other’s eyes, laughing with the sheer joy of being there. It was just the two of them, together once again, the past years dissolved into air.
She looked down to the sea, feeling his gaze on her. ‘You’re a good horseman, Angus Buchannon.’
‘It’s in my blood.’ He laughed. ‘Maybe it’s in Annabel’s blood, too.’
‘Is that why you brought us here?’
He grinned. ‘I have to confess, it’s you I always wanted to see on ahorse. And I’m impressed. I know you rode as a child, but a gallop like that is remarkable.’
‘I’m surprised I still have it in me.’ She paused. ‘Thank you for bringing us here. I didn’t realize how much I needed to get out.’
He shifted his horse closer to hers. ‘I only wish I could do more.’
And something in his voice reminded her of a different time, the days and nights in London wandering through the parks, running for buses, slow-dancing through the early hours.
How colossally her world had fallen apart after he left.
As if sensing her change in mood, he reached over to touch her arm, the warmth of his hand immediate.
And she fought a sudden yearning to escape with him, to vanish back into that old world.
His hand lingered on her, and she wondered if he, too, remembered those heady nights, the passion between them.
But the sheer joy of being together didn’t last long before an intense hatred for her situation took hold. Why, oh why hadn’t she waited longer for him? If she hadn’t been so quick to marry, everything could have been so different.
How could she live with herself now, knowing all that she’d missed?
Turning the horse away from him, she began to gallop back to the farm, racing across the fields as fast as she could go. If she was going to have to get through the rest of her life trapped in London, at least she could experience freedom for this one precious afternoon.
And as the wind flew through her, she began to sob, tears streaming down her cheeks as she sped away from him, down the hill, back through the forest.
