Heath raises his eyebrows, and I can’t tell if he’s impressed or thinks I’m an idiot for even considering being up that high off the ground.
“And?” is all he says.
“And nothing, we didn’t go. I asked, she told me to go stand on our porch railing instead. So I came here, and I climbed this tree.” I turn my head to the live oak and look at the highest branch I reached. It feels pathetically close to the ground when I look at it. My shoulders sag and I sigh. “I sort of climbed this tree. I tried anyway.” I gasp a little when I face Heath again because he’s moved right in front of me. I have to tilt my head back to meet his gaze.
“You came here yesterday and climbed this tree?”
“Tried,” I say, swallowing at how close we are.
“Did you fall?”
“I’m not going to answer that.”
One corner of his mouth lifts. His eyes make a sweep of my body, head to toe and back again, and I feel dizzy even with both my feet firmly planted on the ground. “You don’t seem hurt.”
“That’s because I only sort of climbed the tree.”
The other side of Heath’s mouth lifts to join the first. “Sort of is still something. I’m not a big fan of your sister for blowing you off, but I’m pretty impressed that you tried to aim as high as you did. Where’s the nearest Ferris wheel?”
“There’s a pop-up carnival happening right now in Lubbock.”
Heath laughs out loud and I smile. “Would you really have gone?”
“To the carnival? Yes. On the Ferris wheel? I guess I’ll never know.” Considering that the mental image alone makes me feel like I have food poisoning, I have a pretty good idea.
“Kind of extreme though, isn’t it?”
It is. If it were only about my fear of heights, the porch railing would have been more than equal to the task. But it was about Laura too, or I tried to make it about Laura. It’s not easy talking about how things are between my sister and me, not just because I never have before, but because I can’t fully suppress the twinge of guilt I feel complaining about anything related to this situation with Heath. But he encourages me to go on once I’ve started, and soon we’re sitting together on the ground and the whole situation between me and Laura is out, her withdrawal from everything and everyone, including me, and my continued missteps every time I try to connect to her the way we used to.
Heath leans back against the tree trunk and watches the fireflies blink off and on around the bank of the pond in the distance. Finally he turns to me. “That sucks.”
“It does,” I say, shifting my weight so I’m leaning more fully against the trunk too. It’s plenty large enough for us to share, but I’d been worried about accidentally brushing shoulders with him while I was talking and had kept myself stiff and leaning slightly away. Now, when our shoulders touch, I don’t feel the need to pull away. It’s nice, feeling him there beside me. It’s even nicer that he understands and knows that there isn’t an easy fix to what’s broken between my sister and me.
“Tell me about your sister,” I say, wanting to give him what he’s given me if I can.
Heath draws a knee up and drapes an arm over it. “Gwen and I were never close, but I guess we’re further away now. The difference between us and you with your sister is that neither of us is trying.” He looks at me, catches my gaze briefly before looking away again. “My mom had Gwen when she was really young, they made it work, my mom and dad, but they waited to have me and Cal until nearly ten years later. Gwen always felt more like a third parent than a sibling, and now that my dad is basically gone, she really tries to act like a parent. It’s not great for any of us. She thinks she’s helping by telling everyone what to do, but a lot of the time I’ll turn my truck around when I see that she’s home.”
“Where do you go?” I ask.
“Nowhere. Work, if I can.” He looks at me. “Here.”
I hold his gaze. It feels naked and safe, and at the same time,Ifeel naked and safe. And I feel warm—too warm, like I should look away but I can’t.
“That sucks,” I say.
Heath laughs, hanging his head a little as he looks away again. “Yes and no.” He sobers. “I don’t know what to do about my sister, but it’s good...here.”
“Hmm,” I say, not wanting to probe into that last statement. I think I know what he means, and I know it’s a lot safer to leave anything more unsaid.
“Tell me why you’re doing this.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“You’re doing all this for an audition that you don’t even plan to send in.”
“I told Maggie that I’d—”
He waves his hands, cutting me off. “No, you said you’d audition to get her off your back. Why all the rest? Why do you care about adding lifts and working this hard on something no one else is going to see?”
