We all had our fingers curled through the chain-link fence around our dugout, and every one of us had our rally caps on—our hats turned inside out—screaming for all we were worth as Ivy lifted her bat and twisted her toe into the dirt in anticipation. She whiffed on her first swing, but on the second she hit a frozen rope deep in the left-center-field gap. Sadie took off like a bullet from first, rounded second and nearly reached home on top of Ainsley in front of her. They turned as one to catch Ivy tearing around third. We held our breath as she raced down the line and dived headfirst into home, just as the throw hit the catcher’s mitt.
Cheers erupted from our dugout when the umpire said, “Safe!”
We clogged the entrance getting onto the field. It was a momentary high, winning the game. We were going to the finals. The first thing I did was look into the stands, searching for Selena’s face, forgetting that she hadn’t come. My winning high plummeted, dragging my heart down with it.
Hands clapped my shoulders. It was Jessalyn. She shook me until a smile was forced to my lips.
“That’s right,” she said. “We are going to state!”
It was a good feeling, one I focused on to carry me through rounds of hugs with my teammates and shore me up as I texted my sister, even knowing she wouldn’t respond.
Me: We won the game 8 to 7. Mom came. Have you seen her?
Nothing.
I caught a ride home with Jessalyn and Nick, not wanting to further infect Dad’s sadness by adding my own to the confines of his car. The drive to the game had been depressing enough.
We piled into Jessalyn’s Fiat, and she glanced at me once we left the parking lot. “Should we go out for ice cream or something to celebrate? Ooh, we could go to Mostly Bread and get some of the red velvet cupcakes we have right now.” Her eyes rolled rapturously into the back of her head. “They are the second best thing to ever touch my lips.”
I turned my head to look at Nick, who’d insisted on cramming himself into the back seat so that I could ride shotgun. “And what’s the first?”
Nick turned his version of crimson, but he held Jessalyn’s gaze in the rearview mirror and he couldn’t hide his smile.
Never having kissed Nick, I thought the cupcakes were the best thing to ever touch my lips, but after another hour with no response from Selena, I had trouble finishing mine.
“I don’t get why she’s this mad at you.” Jessalyn licked the cream cheese frosting from her empty cupcake wrapper. “I mean, yeah, okay, you did lie to her a bunch, and your timing for springing Brandon on her sucked monkey balls, but that was an accident. And your dad’s birthday disaster wasn’t your fault at all. If it was me, I’d go to her work or wherever and I wouldn’t leave until she talked to me.”
“Her boyfriend thinks I should give her some time.”
“Yeah, but it’s been a week, right?”
I glanced at Nick over my half-eaten cupcake. I hadn’t expected him to jump to my side, especially since he knew firsthand what it felt like to be lied to by me.
“More than a week since her open mic night.”
“I would go find her,” Jessalyn said, eyeing my cupcake and then grinning when I slid it toward her.
“Might help,” Nick said, looking at me with his old, totally unromantic tenderness. My heart lifted from that sight alone, and it rose even higher when he went on, “She’s hurting too, right? I’m sure it’s easier for her to be mad at you than to deal with finding out she has a brother, but she still does have a brother, and you’re the only one who can tell her anything about him.”
CHAPTER 44
After practice the next day I parked in front of Lava Java next to Selena’s car, got out and sat cross-legged on her hood, ready to sit and wait for however many hours it took for her to get off work. She saw me, of course, during her shift, but after the first startled glimpse, she ignored me. That was fine. I had nowhere else to go, and she couldn’t stay inside forever. At least knowing I was waiting for her would give her time to resign herself to seeing me. And in a public space, she wouldn’t scream in my face again.
Her arms were crossed when she finally came out. She didn’t try to ignore me, which was good because I had a spare set of keys to her car and was fully prepared to let myself in the passenger side if she tried to take off. The surprise was that she was the first to speak.
“All my coworkers think you’re unhinged.”
“What did you tell them?”
“That you’re unhinged.”
Smiling felt like the wrong response but I did it anyway. “Thanks for coming out.”
“You’re sitting on my car, Dana. What choice do I have?”
I wasn’t sure if she’d even looked at my text the night before, so I told her again. “We won. State finals next week.”
An unguarded light came to Selena’s eyes. “Dana! That’s—” the light dimmed “—good.”
