We were standing close, so close I could tell she was thinking about what I’d said to her earlier before all the drama broke out. How did she feel about me wanting her back? I couldn’t read her emotions, only that she seemed a little more self-conscious than usual.
“You sure? It’s cold out, and Zara’s exhausted.”
Shannon’s gaze went to our daughter where she sat on the couch, her head bobbing in a clear sign that she was drifting off. Her expression softened.
“Okay, then, if it’s not too much trouble.”
I reached out to push her hair over her shoulder, the silky strands soft to the touch. “Never,” I whispered, my gaze tender, and she seemed to stiffen.
“Listen, Jace—”
“Don’t,” I cut her off. “Not yet. I know you’re probably scrambling through your head, trying to think of the best way to let me down gently, but not yet. Please. Let me live with hope, just for a little while longer.”
I’d never felt so vulnerable and exposed. Shannon’s eyes flickered back and forth between mine, empathy and understanding marking her features before she gave me the gentlest look and nodded. A short moment of quiet passed while Shannon looked back to Zara, noting she’d fully fallen asleep.
“We might need to carry her out to the car. Do you want to do that while I go talk to your dad about Dean?”
My jaw clenched just hearing the fucker’s name. If he were behind all this, it was going to take a lot to keep me from finding him and doling out vengeance personally. Not only had the catfish disrupted my life, they’d now caused a rift in my family, which was unforgiveable.
“Sure,” I replied, softly touching my hand to her elbow. “I’ll wait in the car.”
She nodded, and I went to lift Zara up off the couch. It always amazed me what kids could sleep through. Grabbing one of Mam’s throw blankets, I wrapped it around her, then carried her out and settled her down in the back seat of my car, all the while she slept soundly. I climbed into the driver’s seat and waited for a few minutes before Shannon appeared. Leaningacross the centre console, I threw the door open for her as she approached and got in.
“Wow, she’s completely zonked out,” she commented, reaching back to pull the blanket more snugly around Zara’s shoulders. Those little caring touches always filled my heart with longing. I hated leaving them after I dropped Zara home from school each day. Wished to see both their faces every night before bed and every morning when I woke up.
“Your dad’s going to look into Dean. I really hope I’m wrong about him, but at the same time, I want to be right because I just want to get to the bottom of all this.”
“That’s you and me both.” I pulled out of the drive, and we fell into a contemplative silence. Only a few minutes later, I was pulling up outside Shannon’s house. I’d just shut off the engine when she asked, “Would you like to come in and put her to bed?”
The gentleness in her voice had my throat catching. Did she know how much the simple offer meant? Wordlessly, I nodded and went around to lift my daughter out of the car. Shannon opened the front door and gestured up the stairs.
“It doesn’t look like you’re going to be able to wake her, so just take off her shoes. She can sleep in her clothes this once.”
I nodded and watched as she went into the kitchen before I continued up to Zara’s room. There were only two bedrooms, and I’d already seen where Shannon slept this morning when I’d struggled not to ravish her in all her sexy, just woken up, bed head glory.
So, yeah, I knew the other room was Zara’s. It was small but cozy, with pale blue walls, purple bed sheets, and a closet. There was also a storage unit full of toys in one corner and a bookshelf in the other.
Still holding her, I reached down and pulled back the duvet before laying her down on the bed. I carefully unwrapped the throw blanket from around her, pulled off her shoes, then tuckedthe duvet over her. When I straightened back up, my heart felt full. Zara looked so peaceful in slumber, and I suddenly didn’t care about anything else that was going on in my life. All that really mattered was her.
I wasn’t sure how long I was standing there when I heard feet shuffling in the doorway.
“Everything okay?” Shannon asked softly.
“Perfect,” I whispered, still gazing at Zara.
Bending down, I pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, then turned to leave. A faint hint of Shannon’s perfume tickled my nose as I moved by her, fighting the urge to back her up against the wall and bury my face in her neck just to breathe her in. She quietly closed Zara’s bedroom door.
“Thanks for letting me put her to bed,” I said, keeping my voice low. “You should get some sleep. I’ll see myself out.”
I made to leave, but she caught my sleeve, and I froze in place. “Jace, about earlier. What you said.” Ah, hell. So much for me begging her to let me live in hope for a while. Shannon stared at the floor for a second, and I knew instantly what she was going to say. It was what she would’ve said earlier if I’d let her speak.
“Yeah?” I asked, heart in my fucking throat while I tried to appear calm.
Her eyes flashed to mine. “I don’t want you to get hurt, and I…I don’t want to get hurt either.”
My chest tightened because the idea of her being afraid I’d hurt her again cut me to the quick. And I knew how to read between the lines. She was trying to say that me winning her back wasn’t possible. But some part of me believed she was lying to herself. The signs might’ve been subtle, but they were there. She wanted me, she was just scared I’d let her down again. But I knew I wouldn’t. I knew what life was like without her, and there was no way I’d let drugs or any other vice take her away from me again. There was no world in which I wouldn’t fight tooth andnail to prove myself worthy. I didn’t plan to merely tell her I was worth a second chance. I was going to show her every single day until she was convinced. If that took two months or two years, I was willing to do it for her and for Zara.
Reaching out, I gently caressed her cheek with my knuckles. “You don’t get it,” I whispered, and her gaze fluttered at my touch, her breath hitching as she asked, “Don’t get what?”
