“There are certainly people in this world who don’t deserve forgiveness, Jace, but you’re not one of them. And you never know,” a faint smile shaped his lips. “Shannon might surprise you.”
***
On Monday morning, I woke well before my alarm, hardly able to wait to see Zara. I was overeager to make up for all the time I’d missed out on. Showering and dressing in dark jeans and a black hoodie, I quickly styled my hair before heading out. The drive to Shannon’s barely took five minutes. I parked outside, scoping out the area, and noticed the curtains twitching in the next door neighbour’s window. Guess my Range Rover was a little ostentatious. It certainly stood out amongst all the ordinary Nissans and Toyotas that lined the street. Climbing out, I hit the locks, then went to knock on the door. I heard little feet coming down the stairs before the door opened, and Zara appeared, a big smile on her face, “Dad!”
“Hey, kiddo, you ready for school?”
She motioned to her pyjamas. “Not yet. I still have to put on my uniform.”
“Okay, you go do that. Where’s your mam?”
“In the kitchen with Margie,” Zara replied before zipping up the stairs. I made my way down the hallway, noting the longPersian rug and cute art on the walls. The place was already so Shannon, and I hadn’t even seen the rooms yet. I heard voices coming from the kitchen and was about to rap my knuckles on the door to announce myself, but then I picked up on some of the conversation and stilled.
“Thatlong? You’re joking, right?” a woman asked, and I took it to be her friend, Margie. We hadn’t met, but I knew from Mam that she and Shannon had hit it off after meeting at a Women in Tech conference about two years ago.
“It might seem like a long time, but it’s not like I haven’t been busy with other things.”
“Right, I get that, but haven’t you felt a little … frustrated? I’m not sure I could go that long without going crazy from horniness.”
Oh, shit. They were talking about sex. So…Shannon hadn’t been with anyone in a while? The caveman in me was over the moon about this, but the other, more sensitive side empathised. My baby hadn’t been touched in who knew how long. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I hadn’t been with anyone either, but that was because, like I said, I was a one-woman man. Sure, I’d found women attractive, but it was nothing compared to how I felt for Shannon. No woman could ever compare to her. Even when I was high, I didn’t cheat. I always made sure I was alone, locked in a hotel room where I couldn’t do anything even more stupid than injecting illegal drugs into my body.
Even now, I’d never gotten to a point of wanting to find someone to replace her, probably because it felt like nobody truly could. There was also the fact that the programme I’d been on was clear about not starting any new relationships until at least a year into recovery. And yes, I was two years into it now, but it still didn’t feel right. Maybe it never would.
“Well, I have been considering trying a dating app, but after the stories you’ve told me, I’m a little apprehensive,” Shannonsaid, and I instantly felt like lashing out. My girl was way too good for the fuckboys on those shitty apps. My bandmate, Kami, had gone on a few internet dates last year and had only bad things to say.
“You don’t need to worry so much. I can give you some tips,” Margie replied, and that was the moment I decided to quit being a sneaky eavesdropper and finally rapped my knuckles on the kitchen door.
3.
Shannon
“Hello,” came a voice, and my eyes flared wide as I stared at Margie. Jace was here, and he was early. How on earth had he gotten into the house? A moment later, he appeared, looking casually handsome and relaxed in a hoodie and jeans. I was still wearing my housecoat and pyjamas, my hair up in a messy knot, though I wasn’t sure why I felt self-conscious. This man had seen me in every possible state. He’d seen me giving birth.
“You’re early,” I said, flustered.
He slid out his phone to glance at the screen, one eyebrow arching. “By three minutes. Sorry to intrude. Zara let me in.” His attention went to Margie, who was sitting at my kitchen table sipping on her coffee and staring at Jace like a supermodel had just walked into the room. I flared my eyes at her to act normal.
“You must be Margie. A pleasure to meet you,” he said and approached her, holding out his hand. She shook with him, looking pleased that he already knew her name.
“I see my reputation precedes me,” she replied happily, and Jace shot her a wink. Ugh. I hated how he had the magical skill to charm everyone he met. I was the opposite. You could call me the anti-charmer. Most people who met me barely remembered my name, or they thought I was a bitch because I wasn’t over the top friendly. It wasn’t something I could change about myself. My upbringing had made being reserved second nature. I didn’t have a very expressive face either, so I could come across a little cold and aloof when I met new people. Luckily, Margie was warm and friendly enough to counteract my reserved nature, and although she was twelve years older than me, we’d become fast friends.
“Shannon said you were a blue-eyed beauty, and I have to agree with her.” Ha! I said nothing of the sort, but he wasn’t wrong about Margie. She did have lovely eyes.
“And Shannon was right when she said you were trouble,” Margie replied with a delighted titter. What a traitor. She was supposed to be my friend, but after a compliment paired with a charismatic smile from Jace, she was a simpering groupie. Typical.
I shook my head just as Margie stood, draining the last of her coffee. “Well, the office calls. I better get going. See you on Friday for W&L night, Shannon. You’re hosting this month, right?” Oh, hell, now she was leaving me alone with him. I knew she had to go because otherwise she’d be late for her job. She managed an internet security company with its head office in the city centre.
“Yes, see you Friday,” I replied tightly.
“It was nice to finally meet Zara’s dad,” she said to Jace, and he shot her a parting smile as she went.
I turned back around to face the counter. The room was far too quiet with Margie gone, and I was far too alone with my ex. I was also worried he’d overheard some of my conversation with Margie. There was something probing about the way he’d looked at me. I bristled at the thought of him hearing how I hadn’t been with anyone since him. He’d probably been with dozens. I certainly knew there was no shortage of women prepared to share his bed. When we were together, Jace was incredibly loving and loyal. He never gave me cause to think he’d cheat, though I did struggle with jealousy since he was the lead singer of a rock band with lots of female fans. But he was single now, free to be with whomever he wanted. I still didn’t like to think about it.
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” I asked.
“I’d love one,” Jace replied, coming to stand next to me. He leaned his hip against the counter and folded his arms. I focused on the coffee machine and tried not to fixate on how my pores tightened in awareness with him so close. I could feel his eyes on my profile, practically boring into me. Finally, he spoke. “So, what’s W&L night?”
“It’s just a little thing I do with Margie, Ozzie, and Lotte,” I said. Despite having only met Margie for the first time today, Jace already knew my college pals Ozzie and Lotte. “It stands for Wine and Letters.”
