“I didn’t tell you about any of it because I still cared about you. Before and after the accident. I wanted to tell you without breaking your heart.”
“Well, that’s too fucking late, thanks,” he said sarcastically.
“It’s not something I took lightly. I’ve been trying to find the words for a while now.”
“Since when?”
I blinked, confused.
“When did you realize that you didn’t want to be with me anymore?”
I gulped, my stomach turning. Knots were folding and unfolding inside me, making me sick. My eyes shot over to Tate. My husband. The guilt on his face made my sour stomach worse.
Ronny saw us exchanging glances and he grew agitated. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. I pressed my lips together for a moment and then answered.
“Christmas,” I said softly. I was sure Tate heard me, despite how quiet I was.
“Christmas?” I watched as my response sunk into Ronny’s brain. The wheels began turning as he realized it all. He then laughed. It came out so cold and unfeeling that it sent a shiver down my spine. “When I left you here alone with him. Is that when you guys started fucking behind my back? Or had you two been going at it the whole time?” He turned to Tate for the answer, but I pulled him back to me.
“We never slept together after you and I started dating. I swear to you. I really tried to get over him. I wanted to love you.”
Suddenly Tate wasn’t here anymore. I was speaking freely, and honestly. Ronny’s eyes grew shiny. He blinked rapidly and the shock on his face slipped away and returned to anger.
“But you couldn’t. Am I that detestable? What is so wrong with me that you can’t love me?” he spat and it was then that I just lost it.
“How am I supposed to love someone who doesn’t love at all?”
He blinked and licked his lips.
“I can’t love? Is that what you think?”
He took a step away from me, and then another, then one more before turning and going to the door. He grabbed his keys off the table and glanced one more time behind his shoulder. He shook his head at me as he opened the door.
“What the fuck ever,” he said before slamming it closed, leaving my heart in shambles. The band aid hadn’t just been removed. It had been pulled off so hard and fast it took skin and fresh blood with it.
* * *
Tate was there to help me get through another breakup with Ronny, but I preferred to be left alone. Ronny’s words still rang through my head, and the thought of Tate comforting me about them didn’t sit right with me.
I knew he was speaking from anger, but he was right. I was a whore. I had done so many screwed up things to people I said I cared about. I didn’t deserve to be happy so quickly after telling Ronny we were over, for good this time.
I took a few days to myself before I ventured out and decided it was time to move on. I hadn’t seen him since he left, so I think it was safe to say that he felt the same.
Dallas came for some of Ronny’s things on day three. I followed him into his old bedroom and watched from the door as he began shoving Ronny’s clothes into a duffel bag. I asked how he was and he shrugged.
“He’s been chilling at my place. He’s pretty pissed. He’s gonna move back in with Cash, I think. He’ll come for the rest of his stuff later.”
“I wasn’t sure if he ever wanted to see me again,” I sighed. Dallas waved a hand, dismissing the idea.
“He’ll be fine. He’s already hooked up with two different chicks. No one you know, don’t worry. Just fans of Hip Friction. Let him stew for a little bit and then he’ll come back around.”
I blinked rapidly. He was already sleeping with other people? The image of him naked with another woman hurt my heart. I knew it wasn’t fair, but it still pained me nonetheless.
“The better news though, is that he still wants to be in the band. I think we can both agree that’s a good thing. Isn’t it?”
I nodded. I supposed. It was one less thing to stress about. I hoped he’d be able to be professional on and off stage. I hated the thought of kicking him out of The Homewreckers, but I wasn’t going to live with him constantly treating me like shit. We needed to figure out how to keep our work lives and home lives separate. That was something Ronny always struggled with.
“I’ll talk to him about it. I know how he is,” Dallas assured me. He could read my thoughts. “You guys still have time to adjust before Cash comes back and you start booking gigs again.”
