“Are you sure you don’t want to come? She’s too far out of it to care.”
I shook my head again and removed my hands from his. I waved the list and keys in my hands.
“I’m going to go grab these things for you and I’ll be back as soon as possible. You go with the nurse.”
With reluctance, I got him to stand with me. He reached out and embraced me tightly.
“I love you,” he murmured into my shoulder. My body warmed at how right that felt.
“I love you too. You’ve got to go.”
He nodded and I gently pushed him towards the open doorway. He left quickly and I followed him out, turning the opposite direction of where he had gone.
I was almost to the elevator when I saw a nurse who asked me where I was going. I explained to her that Tate needed some things. She shook her head and raised her eyebrows.
“I wouldn’t go too far. Once she’s in there it won’t take long.”
“For the baby to come out?”
She nodded. “An hour, two tops.”
I swallowed. Even if I sped the entire way to and from my apartment it would take an hour at least.
“Alright, I’ll do my best.” I turned and hurried away.Shit.
Once I was out of the building I sprinted to my car and then sped the entire way back to my place. My stomach was in knots the whole time there and back. Did I really agree to being someone’s parent? A mother?
Yes.
I did everything possible to get back as fast as I could, but it still took an hour and a half to return to the hospital. I should have gone before she was sent to the delivery room.
Adjusting the diaper bag on my shoulder, I went to the nurse’s station right away and asked for an update.
“Looks like the baby is a stubborn one. She’s still pushing. Do you want to go in?”
“Oh God no,” I grimaced and then blushed. Was that a bad answer for someone about to adopt the baby in the progress of being born? Should I go in? Did I want to see that level of intimacy between Tate and Whitley? No. I blinked and shook away those dark thoughts. I was being irrational again. I knew there wasn’t anything there. I pressed my lips together tightly and finally nodded.
“Sure, actually. Can I go in?”
“Of course. They’ve been waiting for you.” Her bright smile relaxed me some. I followed her to the cabinet where she pulled out the scrubs from before.
“They?” I asked after I came out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go. She only smiled as she took the diaper bag from me and led me down the hall. My nerves flared up again, making my stomach revolt against me so hard I thought I might vomit. I wasn’t sure if I could do this.
I couldn’t hear anything from the outside. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? The nurse turned to me and gave me another reassuring smile.
“You ready?”
“I guess. It’s now or never.”
“You’ve got that right,” she laughed as she opened the door and an eruption of noise hit us. A half dozen men and women were speaking all at once either to the woman in the bed or amongst themselves. My attention went to the bed, where Whitley had turned her head to glare at me. Her face was cherry red, her hair a mess all around her, and her legs wide open.
I froze and the nurse gently urged me forward. This was a bad idea. The people in the room all turned to me and stopped speaking for half a moment. I remained at the door, looking around. Tate’s mouth was open in surprise. I pleaded with my eyes for him to speak. Tell me what to do. Before he could do so, Whitley spoke.
“Finally! Jesus Christ, ooh,” she paused in her yelling to close eyes and start breathing in and out deeply. When her pain subsided, her attention went back to me. “Are you in or not? If you want this baby, you better get over here and take my hand.”
I blinked. Was she really wanting me here? Tate said my name and I came to, hurrying to do as I was told. The medical professionals shifted around to let me over to the other side. She reached for my hand and squeezed tightly as another contraction hit her.
I looked from her to Tate on the other side of the bed. The smile on his face was small and almost playful as he looked over at me. His eyes shone with what I could only hope was happiness. I glanced back down at Whitley, whose eyes were closed tightly as she breathed in and out heavily.
